[Chris]

MONDAY 18TH OCTOBER 2004.

7AM NEWSBEAT
Natasha Bedingfield- These Words - BUZZ OFF - Def Leopard - "Make Love Like A Man" - 7:30 NEWSBEAT - Deep Dish-Flashdance- The Darkness- I Believe In A Thing Called Love- Eric Prydz- Call on me- Joss Stone- Supa Dupa Love-
8:00AM NEWSBEAT - U2- Beautiful Day- Kelis Feat. Andre 3000 - Millionaire - Graham Coxon- Freaking out- 8:30AM NEWSBEAT - Shapeshifters - Scissor Sisters- Mary- D12 - My band - TEDIOUS LINK - Oasis - "Stand by me" - Robbie Williams - Radio - Usher - My Boo - Destiny's Child – New song!?
9:30AM NEWSBEAT - Outkast - Hey ya! - Daniel Beddingfield - Nothing hurts like love - Snow Patrol – Chocolate.


So, g'morning! Yep, the team are back after a 2 week break, thanks to Scott Mills for filling and amusing us while the saviour rested (well, went to Spain).

First off, we have a new member! Carrie Davis. The new lady of sport...

Aled told us how he's been on holiday ... to Wales.
He also stayed in London but run out of money at the end of the week and had to come back. Chris said that’s the BBC wage scale for you...
Chris went to see Travis on his break and, for some reason due to my half awake state discussed the fact that the Aled Jones who sung 'The Snowman' is not the only Aled Jones...

TODAY'S BUZZ OFF...

Comes yet again, courtesy of Chris' record collection. He assured Dave he'd enjoy today's. As Chris played the intro, Dave said he would probably agree...


Straight away however,
ALED BUZZ!

Chris- Shutup!
RACHEL BUZZ!
(It's Def Leopard's "Make Love Like A Man"!)
Overall? A BUZZ ON from the audience... though, we can never be certain of this...

Chris - Can't we cancel the news this morning and go straight to the sport?

After newsbeat, Chris says 'Valentino Rossi' featured in the news sounds like DJ SAMMY, que the classic DJ SAMMY soundbite from his drivetime show...

ONE ROAD TRAVEL..........
A14 road- Cambridgeshire-

Dom- Use a different road if you can

Yeah thanks Dom. Dave earlier claimed in his youth to be quite a big Def Leopard fan and is feeling bitter about some mis-construed facts about Rick Allen, the one-armed drummer. Dom doesn't help matters by telling Dave he has never really seen the appeal with the band...
Apparently, Def Leopard live in the hills somewhere, the drummer has one arm, the other's married to Shania twain or Celine Dion, one of them had a crash in Sheffield, one of them is Dutch, and in the Def Leopard story (available on DVD) they pretend to be in a bar in Sheffield, England having a pint- when it's blatantly filmed somewhere like Kansas in America.
So, there we go...

After NEWSBEAT, it's
Wes' UK Top 10 with Chris and Dave!
As they count down the top 10 and comment on chart positions, whilst also getting artists name's wrong, Chris had a moan at Dave for rushing the number 2 slot (which happens to be Blue's new tune). Out of nowhere Chris tells us that he saw Duncan James from Blue the other day and Simon (who shook his hand).
A story Dave didn't think to be the greatest anecdote of all time...

According to someone on the texts, Rachel (who this morning was losing her voice) looks like Bette Midler on the webcam!
Rachel is mocked by most but puts this down to the fact that the team missed her really.

Dave then asked to play some "clear up" music for his FACT ATTACK.
Amongst other things in this fact attack, the dispute over Rick Allen, Sheffield and who is Dutch is settled. Rick Allen's girlfriend is Dutch, and he crashed in Sheffield.
Cheers Dave, we were worried for a minute...


Re; Personal Appearance, Chris comments that Danny (the studio's tech/op) looks like he's balding from a side angle.
“How rrude!" is his very Irish response.
Chris then does a bad impression of his accent and asks whether or not he could say "Rachel" in a James Nesbitt stylee..
He does. More mocking ensues…

So, yes, CARRIE DAVIS is the new voice of Radio 1 sport. Chris tells us that if the listeners want to know more about her then to type her name in on the net and ... well actually, officially, go to radio 1 online for her profile and we'll say no more!
Chris bragged that Leeds United had a victory over the weekend against the mighty PRESTON! Dom congratulates Liverpool on the draw they pulled back over the weekend. Dave, soon passes them off as 'mid-table strugglers'.
Chris said that if we had listened to Radio 5 live last week for the England Vs Azerbaijan match, we might have noticed Graham Taylor's pronunciation of Azerbaijan.

Chris- Where are we playing? Aberban? Aberban??"
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

Chris reflected on U2's Top Of The Pops performance on Friday outside the BBC Television Centre. After their new song 'Vertigo', U2 performed yet more songs outside. This unfortunately played on the conscience of Chris' girlfriend who bought her mate Ed (an avid U2 fan apparently) a TOTP ticket - but for inside only. The story ends up that Ed, Chris' girlfriend's mate (I think) ended up watching it all inside on the monitors. Later on, when going back to this Ed's house, Chris and his girlfriend notice a variety of U2 merchandise, including framed pictures, a calendar, DVD's and a magazine in the living room. So all in all, nice one guys, the poor man's night completely ruined!


The subject soon wanders onto TOTP presenters and how Chris presented Peter Andre's no. 1 that time and how he has a soft spot for fern...

Dave (To Chris)- I thought you were turned down to present top of the pops cause you were too ugly?
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

AND NOW FOR THE BIG MOULDY LOOKIN' STAIN NEWS WE'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR..


MOULDY LOOKIN' STAIN, on the back of their new-found success are releasing their single "Dogs don't kill people, rabbits do" to the online world to co-inside with the new weekly download charts. All proceeds go to Comic Relief (although Chris was in firm belief it should go to some sort of 'brilliant music' charity).
Unfortunately, Chris mentioned downloading and for the next few minutes Chris had to explain to a blatantly clueless Dave the process of downloading music..

After NEWSBEAT, Dom decides to randomly tell Rachel that this morning she is broader accent wise, not in physical appearance. Chris tells us about his trip to Madrid 'the other week' (yeah right), when he went to see Real Madrid and Deportivo. Real eventually lost 1-0 and according to the saviour, European football crowds are rubbish compared to English crowds. CARRIE also went to Madrid for the week for a friend's hen weekend. Chris thought it a shame that they didn't meet up for a romantic stroll with himself and Becks. Carrie wasn't sure, suggesting he'd been around a bit now. Dave immediately confirms these words are Carrie's and Chris hopes she enjoys her final week here and wishes her all the luck in the future working for some children's charity in a hospital somewhere...

Chris- Iiiit's 11 and a half minutes to 9 o clock, this is BBC Radio Leeds....!

Chris and Dave are at BBC Radio Leeds this morning and the rest of the team are down in London. They can see each other on the webcam however and Dom says hello, to which Dave laughs and replies with:

- Hello, there's no show without punch!

Everyone laughs as Dave tries explaining that it's an old phrase used by his parents..
Back on the trip to Madrid and Chris informs his listeners how he went 1st class on a train in order to avoid all the Spanish.

(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

Dom- Bringing the whole world slightly close together today!

Apparently, 2 girls were opposite Chris and his girlfriend on the train and 1 of the girls decided to start cleaning out her sinuses for a good 20 minutes. Thoroughly amazed (and slightly due to the growing rage of his girlfriend) Chris goes to the toilets and brings out a huge wad of toilet paper and gives it to the Spanish girl, to which her bemused response is "Err, Gratsius.."
Other observations of the trip - The Spanish smoke a hell of a lot and there's a hairdresser called Ronny (Chris smugly taking pictures pretending it reads 'Rooney')

Chris pointed out he doesn't really hate the Spanish. He loves everyone in Europe (except the French).

TODAY'S TEDIOUS LINK

From Bon Jovi's 'Slippery When Wet'....
It's slippery when someone washes the floor- floors are washed with a mop- a mop top was a haircut made fashionable by the Beatles in the 60's- 60's was a decade for mini skirts and flower power- power rhymes with shower- the most popular form of washing, ahead of baths- baths were (Dave thinks) invented by the Romans, who also invented straight roads- roads is one place you'd see cat's eyes as well as a cattery- cattery rhymes with slattery as in Tony Slattery- who shares the same christian name as Tony Blair- Blair spends much of his time in America- in American you'd find the Arizona city of Phoenix- River Phoenix is a deceased actor who was in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom and Stand By Me, which, leads us to
OASIS and STAND BY ME.

SEAMLESS??
Nearly. Except, it was pointed out that River Phoenix was in Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Get yer movie facts correct Dave.

Chris told us he was looking forward to the new Oasis album if it ever gets completed. He also commented on the vainness of Aled and how, first thing this morning when he got into the studios he checked his hair before doing anything else. This, according to Aled is strictly not true. Chris also analyses his "friar tucker" bald patch developing. Aled denies this and also for the record, has lost a lot of weight on his bottom.

Chris- Morning kids!



LET'S GET READY TO RUUUUUUMMMMMMBBBBBLLLLLEEEEEE.


The lines open for Car Park Catchphrase, in the meanwhile they play the Graham Taylor clip from last week. (Very amusing indeed)

We then hear the new Destiny's Child song- now, I think it was Destiny Child, it was hard to tell because it sounded like an old Beyonce track. If this is so, I apologise. If this is not so, I apologise even more… tracks great girls, yeah.... however, I think Chris summed it up best by telling the world that Kelly Rowland:

Chris- Tries like a thucker!...Thighs like a trucker’s!
(EVERYONE DOES A HALF-LAUGH-HALF-OOOH-CONTROVERSIAL-SOUND)
Rach- Apologise!
Chris- I apologise!
Dave- What a way to come back.
Chris- Oh lordy...
Rach- They're all lovely though!
Chris- If you've just switched on, this is Scott Mills on Radio 1, good morning!

After newsbeat Dom notices a drilling sound coming from outside. He thinks it might be Chris and Dave messing about in the leeds studio (which it is)

Chris- It's nothing in particular, just an irritating noise- Aled?
Aled- Hello!?
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)

As the show winds down, CARRIE is applauded on her 1st day on the show as lady of sport. Chris and Dave soon change the subject and reckon she needs to up-grade her love life now she's hit the big time. Aled is a prime example- he started on Moylesy's show in a relationship, now he doesn't have one. Rachel 'I haven't got time for men' is ridiculed by Dave-

Dave- They haven't got time for you!
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)
Rachel- Shutup! It's just a shame George Clooney's in America
Chris- Oh yeah, he'd be all over you like a rash! He has the pick of any girl in Hollywood but no he wants the little girl from Kidderminster (adopts bad accent) Ooh! Thank-you very much dear, can I call you doctor??
(EVERYONE LAUGHS)


Chris then changes the subject and does a joke he read from Eamon Holmes' newspaper column the other week, (quite funny actually) it goes:

Michael Owen walks up to a woman at a bar and says 'Can i get you a drink on me, and afterwards perhaps we go back to my hotel room for more?' to which the woman replies 'You're a little forward'.

He also observes that it's amazing Daniel Bedingfield sings 'Nothing Hurts Like Love' after his car accident and having a neck brace for weeks on end. 'Nothing hurts like love' but that accident certainly smarts don’t it Daniel
...

TODAY'S CAR PARK CATCHPHRASE CONTESTANTS WERE:

Contestant No. 1- Darryl from Norfolk. Driving a Vauxhall Cavalier.
Contestant No. 2- Fergus, the executive producer form Radio 1!!

WINNER?
DARRYL! (Bad luck Fergus, nice car horn though)

Say goodbye to Mr. Fish...he's waving!!!!!!

Tune in weekdays 7-10AM or go online at
www.bbc.co.uk/radio1

Jolly good show kids.