The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#242071
1. Slade – Merry Xmas Everybody, 7.00 NEWSBEAT, 2. Elton John – Step Into Christmas, 3. Shapeshifters – Lola’s Theme, 4. The Darkness – Christmas Time(Don’t Let The Bells End), 5. BUZZ OFF: Nik Kershaw – The Riddle, 6. Mousse T/Emma Lanford – Is It Cos’ I’m Cool?, 7.30 NEWSBEAT, 7. Robbie Williams – Walk This Sleigh, 8. Gwen Stefani – What U Waiting 4, 9. Wham – Last Christmas, 10. Eric Prydz- Call On Me, 8.00 NEWSBEAT, 11. Travis featuring Chris Moyles and Comedy Dave – Alone On Christmas Day, 12. Kylie Minogue – I Believe In You, 13. Band Aid 20 – Do They Know It’s Christmas?, 14. Chris Martin – Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas, 8.30 NEWSBEAT, 15. The Pogues/Kirsty MacColl – Fairytale Of New York, 16. Kelis – Trick Me, 17. Green Day – American Idiot, 18. TEDIOUS LINK: Bing Crosby – White Christmas, 19. Moyles Parody: Eminem – Stanta, 20. Michael Gray – The Weekend, 21. Natasha Bedingfield – These Words, 9.30 NEWSBEAT, 22. The Carpenters – Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, 23. Maroon 5 – This Love, 24. Wizzard – I Wish It Could Be Christmas Everyday

And the bells are ringing out for Christmas day…

It was the last morning show of the year today. They couldn’t just do any old show in the boring London Radio 1 studios, so where could they go? Lapland? Iceland? Poland? Roland? Scotland? Wales? No, not quite…

It could so easily have gone wrong. Today the team were live from a listeners house as part of Radio 1’s 12 days of Christmas. But, the catch was, the people who lived in the house stayed at a hotel last night, and had no idea what to expect when they got in at 7.30 this morning, the location, until then, was kept a secret.

Dave was wedged into the corner of the room next to the Christmas tree, Chris told him not to give it away! Having a Christmas tree at this time of the year really narrows it down! Danny was back in London pushing the buttons, and Dom and Carrie were upstairs in the spare bedroom reading the news and sport. Joce was in the kitchen.

Chris: Hi Joce …(No response)…dead, obviously.(Everyone laughs)

The team went out for a curry last night, so as Dave said when the “mystery people” arrive home the house will stink of stale curry. Chris then asked the rest of the team, asking for honest answers, if anybody had farted since they entered the house. Dave did a little upstairs, Dom used their toilet, Fergus did, Aled didn’t, neither did Carrie because she’s a “lady” same for Rachel. Chris told a story of when they were out last night and he farted next to the bar, just as Joce walked up to him, he didn’t have the heart to tell her not to stand there! You won’t get these sophisticated conversations with Miquita Oliver!

BUZZ OFF – THE LAST ONE OF 2004
And possibly the last one ever. Can’t say I’m that bothered, as long as they can still find an excuse to play a classic tune every morning. Chris chose his favourite Buzz Off tune from the year. It was the legendary Nik Kershaw, with The Riddle from 1984. Chris got very cross when Aled dared to buzz in just before the record finished, and even more when Rachel and Dave buzzed after the record finished. That was supposed to be the point of the feature, but not anymore.

The householders finally arrived home after 7.30. They were Andy and Bernie. It was Bernie’s surprise for Andy. She wrote in saying Andy had a rubbish year, been in hospital due to a car crash, so thinks he deserves a christmas treat. They stayed in a hotel last night, Bernie told Andy it was a surprise for his birthday which was on Tuesday, and she also booked the day off work for him. Thankfully Andy didn’t get annoyed that the Radio 1 Breakfast team had broken into his house while he was out, and let them stay until 10, could have been very interesting had they been thrown out though!

I nay have forget to mention Andy and Bernie live in Derbyshire. Regardless of this, Andy is a Man United fan, I shouldn’t be surprised! After Chris randomly started chatting about Man U, he then gave Andy another prize, tickets to Man United V Chelsea at Old Trafford on 16th April 2005. Chris said he wishes he could go, but sadly he’s busy that day. Andy has never been to Old Trafford before, he’s definitely a Man U fan then! Chris said Ruud Van Nistelrooy will hopefully be back in action by then, naturally, Carrie hopes otherwise! Me too!

FRIDAY FOOTIE COMP
Oh, sorry, force of habit. No Footie Comp or Footie Predictions today, I’m sure we were all crying in too our cornflakes! Merry Christmas!

Another Jo Whiley discussion at 8.45 this morning, I’ll go with this as there wasn’t much else worth mentioning at 8.45 this morning! It was the usual stuff, she finds Chris irresistable etc…Dave said goodbye yesterday as they won’t see her now until January, Chris got a special hug off her yesterday…she squeazed his arse. He said on January 5th this year, she found him repulsive, but now, she’s all over him! Time for the Christmas panto then…

Half Time: The bit where Dave says…

LETS GET READY TO RAMBLE!!!!!!
Chris said it was a very fancy area they were in this morning, not like Leeds. The car’s had tyres, and they had keys, as opposing to smashing the windows and putting your arm inside an unlocking it. Andy and Bernie have three toilets in their house.

Chris: You must be pooing all day to fill them!

Dom: Happy Christmas!

Aled had some presents for the neighbours. Chris gave him four pounds to give them instead of lollipops and mince pies. Chris sent him all over the street, literally, as he couldn’t make his mind up which house he wanted to go too! He knocked on a few doors, offering them, a “log, lolly or money”. The best one was a middle aged woman:

Aled: Hi, I’m Aled from The Chris Moyles Show, Radio 1, merry christmas, how are you? What’s your name? Paula.

Chris: Right, just repeat after me, how old are you love?

Aled: I can’t ask that!

Dave: Yeah you can.

Aled(To Paula): How old are you love? 43.

Chris: No seriously love, how old are you?

Aled(To Paula): No seriously love how old are you? I am 43.

Chris: Just say “whatever”!

Aled~(To Paula): Whatever! Merry Christmas from Radio 1!

Everyone was in hysterics, Aled came back with one log, one lolly and one pound, although Aled managed to get away with the pound. No Rachel or Carpark Catchphrase today, so that is that, one of the funniest half time’s for a while!

Dave and Dom had a special Christmas surprise for Chris at 9.45. It was a musical treat, from Dave and Dom’s band Folk Face. Chris sounded disappointed to say the least. Here are the lyrics, to the tune of Shakin Stevens’ Merry Christmas Everyone in a folk music style:

It is Christmas, it’s exciting
We’re all jolly, and having fun
We’re in the house, of Bernie and Andy
Starting Christmas in Ilkeston

Chris is looking, at us strangely
He’s not sure that, our sound fits
He would rather, we bought him an Ipod
Than perform our Christmas hits

We’ve had a lovely time here today
It’s been nice, now it’s time for us to go home for a holiday

Rachel’s looking, at her wristwatch
She thinks our song, is too long
Carrie’s dancing, over in the corner
All the boys can see her thong

Aled’s swaying, Will is greying
Joce is saying “who wants tea?”
Oh yes please Joce, milk and sugar
We would all like a cup of tea

We’ve had a lovely time here today
It’s been nice, now it’s time for us to go home for a holiday

It is Christmas, it’s exciting
We’re all jolly and having fun
We’re in the house of Bernie and Andy
Starting Christmas in Ilkeston

Merry Christmas Ilkeston
Merry Christmas from Dave and Dom
Merry Christmas Everyone

There ya go! Genius! Chris enjoyed it, although said the sad thing is, they’ve actually spent a lot of time on it, writing and rehearsing it! Time for a proper Christmas song now though as Chris plays Wizzard! Christmas has arrived!

Well, what a show it was today! The best(yet probably the strangest) show I’ve ever had the pleasure to review. Hope everyone at chrismoyles.net has a great Christmas, and everyone on The Chris Moyles Show, if they read this(Well somebody has too!)Happy New Year, and I’ll see you in 2005!

Don’t forget Chris is on tomorrow, pre-recorded obviously, from 2 – 5pm. After that he’s back on Monday 10th January from 6.55am, until then, Wes, Miquita Oliver and Scott Mills will be covering breakast.

ALSO ON TODAY’S SHOW:
Dominic struggling to tell the time without the studio clock
Andy and Bernie’s embarrassing CD collection including Shania Twain
The final Advent Calendar celeb was none other than Roy Walker!
Will broke one of the kitchen utensils, although he denied it
Another pointless Christmas panto featuring Cilla Black and Simon Cowell

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