The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#242087
Playlist

1: KT Tunstall - Black Horse and the Cherry Tree, 2: Chemical Brothers - Galvanise, 3: Red Hot Chili Peppers - Can't Stop, 4: LL Cool J - Hush, 5: Verbalicious - Don't Play Nice, 6: Snow Patrol - How to be Dead, 7: Natasha Bedingfield - Single, 8: Xzibit feat. Keri Hilson - Hey Now, 9: Shapeshifters - Back to Basics, 10: Akon - Locked Up, 10: Green Day - Holiday, 11: Bubba Sparxx feat. Missy Elliott - ?, 12: Not McFly - He Don't Use Shampoo, 13: Gwen Stefani - Rich Girl, 14: White Stripes - Seven Nation Army, 15: Stereo MCs – Step It Up (tedious link), 16: Feeder – Tumble and Fall, 17: Mario – Let Me Love You, 18:KT Tunstall – Black Horse and the Cherry Tree


And so it begins...

After yesterday's assertion by Rachel and Abi Titmuss that today's show would be an anticlimax (met with much "hello auntie"-based hilarity from Chris and Dave) following Tuesday's birthday bonanza, I was fully prepared to be in for a mildly disappointing show today. However, my fears were allayed when Chris finally rocked up at 6.50am, and the show kicked off with some banter about a dodgy backstreet kebabery (or, as Dave would have it, "restaurant and bar-discotheque") where Dave, Dom and Tim from accounts had ended up last night.

Though most of the team sounded marginally like they'd been gargling with wire wool after an evidently debaucherous (i.e. kebab-filled and out past 10pm) birthday night out, they remained professional in the face of hangover, in so far as they all turned up. "Ex-legend" Garth Crooks was on sport duty today rather than Carrie, and very genial and lovely he sounded too. Being as I am a bird who knows little and cares even less about the world of sport, Crooksy (as I personally wouldn't call him) made it all sound nice. And nice is frankly as good as sports news is ever going to get for me. Woo to that man.

Chris's Birthday Meatfest

Chris said yesterday's show was "incestuous" which I'm not entirely sure was the right word. The team went to a beefy porky ribs place for the birthday situation yesterday, not great for the vegetarians among the group (not that Dave seemed to care, given that he booked it) and Chris got a cake in the shape of the A-Team van, which sounds super. Aled evidently didn't attend the birthday function as he was off at Will Smith's premiere, but Sue Cook (newsreader lady, you all know that) did. That probably made up for it, but Chris didn't go into that. Maybe he got fruity with Sue Cook. Ooh, that might be libellous. Ahem.

Bleedin' football...

Today's show was interspersed with football discussion. It meant very little to me, to be frank. That's not a girly thing, before anyone gets their dungarees in a twist, it's just me. Chris and Dave evidently love having sports personalities in and it's really rather endearing that they get all over-excited, but not particularly interesting for me, all the same. Something about Ricketts (?), something about Peter Reid... yada yada…

Rachel's chap

Rachel had a big announcement today, involving a boy. Yes, a boy. She has one, and apparently he looks like Rui Costa, who evidently footballs (hmm, maybe not a verb). Rachel sounded vaguely soppy and adoring, and she seemed to maybe quite like having her boy discussed on air. It was a moment to make the girls go "ahh" and the boys go "boo" because Rachel is a saucepot and everyone knows it. And is, according to Chris, "on glue". "What's Portuguese for Um Bongo?"...

Rob DJ's Monday night pub quiz (on a Wednesday this week)

This bit can all be a bit Johnny Vaughan, and I don't think I'm the only bear who thinks that. So I'm not going to go into it too much.

Questions were about the richest man in the world (not the Sultan of Brunei), a 273-year-old US president (not Abraham Lincoln), guest rubbish transvestite in the Little Britain Comic Relief DVD (not Will Young), largest planet in the solar system (not Pluto), 100m gold medal in 1992 (not Daley Thompson, bloody obviously!).

Andy representing the boys performed poorly, whilst Natalie representing the girls did superbly(despite sounding "like a poof" and thus affording Chris the opportunity - which he criminally let slip - to use the plural "pooves") and magical Dom got 5.

Competition fun

Today, the kids were able to win tickets for some rugby matches, a competition heralded by the Wimbledon music, of course. A lovely lady won tickets for Northern Ireland v England, and the happiest Scotsman in the world won tickets for Scotland v Italy, celebrating his victory by calling Chris something like “lovely dancer”, which is an enduring image.

Tedious Link

I believe that this feature is covered more extensively in another section of the site, so I shan’t go into it too much. Suffice to say that as usual, it was marginally flawed, Dave got his tongue tied (grapes are a good gift for six people in hospital, anybody?) and emphasised every word in the song title, for no good reason other than to sound like a slightly aggravated dad.

Hiccup cures

Chris regaled us with a tale of vomitation after drinking lots of Tennents and getting hiccups. This revelation led the team to discuss their hiccup cures of choice. Rachel’s was burping (original and best), Dave advised some kind of convoluted biro-based breathing escapade, and Chris flew the flag for Timmy Mallet’s breath holding advice, which may or may not have resulted in the explosion of several children in the 80’s. Ooh, libellous again… Dr Mark rocked up to say that all of the advice was valid, which was possibly rather pointless.

Other stuff

Dom told us all that the advice to "not drive unless you have to" due to the snow was code for "if you can't be bother to go to work or school, this is a pretty good excuse not to", and Abi Titmuss advised Garth Crooks that his passage into the world of sport journalism could be eased by not wearing a bra. Am sure that Crooks will use that advice in all spheres of his life…

Chris and Dave noted that the new Shapeshifters song sounds like the Love Boat theme tune or "Ain't No Stopping Us Now", which is certainly true, but the team have totally ignored the fact that the new Doves song sounds like "Harvest for the World" by the Isley Brothers. Shoddy.

Dom was a geek who used to say "skill and technology" at school.

Dave promised to get Rachel some shelves from his house clearance thingy but then gave them to his cousin, resulting in Rachel being understandably peeved.

Chris agrees with Rachel that the KT “Tips” Tunstall track is crying out for a parody – Dave suggests “Big Black Cow (chorus: “moo moo”) or a song for Aled (chorus: “woo woo”).

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