- Wed Jun 13, 2001 11:00 am
#100402
"Where theres blame, theres a claim".<P>Chris: I doubt that he's a professional singer, so that leaves him being either a real employee or an actor employed to be real.<P>Gaspode: Here is my Stan parody (sticky - you've already seen it). It seemed everybody else had done one: Moyles, Shirehorses, xfm so I'd better get in on the act. Please bear in mind that this was for my history class, a non-Moyles listener audience - so yes - I did rip off some of his rhymes. I performed this infront of my class dressed as Eminem. My friend Adam (a.k.a. the_dr's pal a.k.a. slaphead69k or whatever) was supposed to perform this with me - but he's a chicken so he didn't. It's simple called "Fred".<P>[Daniel as Fred Engels]<br>Dear Marx, I sent my application form to be a Communist,<br>I hope you got it or I'll be well p***ed.<br>Maybe the letter has been intercepted - by the french cops,<br>I haven't tested - but I heard they are the tops.<br>but anyways; fudge it, whats been up? man hows your asocciation?<br>I heard you had some trouble in France - you had to leave the nation<br>I had some trouble too,<br>I had to be extradited - but I told 'em they could bite it.<br>I know you probally hear this everyday, but I'm your biggest fan,<br>I even got that underground s**t you did with the Doctors, that s**t was the bomb,<br>I understand what youre saying in your books - i see where youre coming from.<br>Man, when you talk about religion being the opium of the people,<br>and all people being equal - that's hot s**t man.<br>anyways, gotta go to psychiatrist now, to sort out my head,<br>write back soon, <br>This is Fred.<P>[Dido: chorus]<P>[Daniel as Fred Engels]<br>Dear Marx, you still ain't called or wrote<br>what's going on? I've been thinkin' that I've done somethin' wrong,<br>If you didn't want to talk to me outside your Working Men's meeting, you didn't have to<br>but you could have signed a Communist Manifesto for my little brother man, <br>he's only 6 years old, he's waited all his life to meet a phillosopher like you,<br>and you just said no, thats pretty sh**ty man - you're like his fudgin' idol<br>man, when I read your book Capital - I just couldn't resist<br>shouting it out of my window, to get the capitalists p***ed<br>My wife thinks I'm strange, I talk about you all the time<br>I can't wait to meet you Karl, when you come round to mine.<br>Hey, remember when we met in Brussels,<br>and I told you about the industrial revolution, and all the pollution,<br>you said if i wrote to you, you would write back - see i think like you too.<br>I wanna overthrow this capitalist system too, <br>ever since Germany got mucked up,<br>I've seen this world for what it is - fudged up worse than my wife is.<br>I heard about you in Uni too, I won't go round tellin' everybody, cos you'll get in deep poo,<br>All I'm gonna say is you were a bit of a rebel - fighting, drinking and you got arrested - man, you did the treble.<br>You gotta write back to me,<br>I'm going for a pee, and then to bed<br>Sincereley yours, Fred<br>P.S. - we should write a book together too<P>[Dido: chorus]<P>[Daniel as Fred Engels]<br>Dear Mr I'm-Too-Busy-Writing-Manifestos-To-Write-To-My-Fans,<br>You big, fat, communist mother-hubard<br>I've been sending you letters and money for six months now,<br>why ain't you been writing back, you fat lazy cow<br>You think you're influential, you ain't, you're just f**kin' mental.<br>I seen you at the pub spending my money on double whiskeys,<br> I hope your wife slaps you in the face when you try get frisky<br>You ain't wrote back man, that crime is heinous<br>I hope the debt collectors cut off your tiny (p**is)<br>If you try to give me another copy of the Communist Manifesto, I'll tell you where to go.<br>You said "Workingmen of all countries unite!", <br>Man, thats just a big pile of s**te.<br>All my life I thought you were right, you were the one to show me the light<br>I gave you money when things were tight, I even let you stay the night.<br>But then it clicked, you weren't the boss, <br>you were just a stuck up little pr**k.<br>All I wanted was some advice, but you couldn't stop meddlin'<br>Hey, Marx, I hope you liked those debt collectors I sent to KICK your head in.<br>Hey shut up b**ch and keep on peddlin'<br>Sorry Karl, that's your mentor, Bruce Bauer, going side saddle<br>I found him last night, so I'm taking him for a paddle<br>So Marx, it seems you're s**t out of luck<br>you can shove Communism up your ass you fat (f**k)<br>(splash, underwater)<P>[Dido: chorus]<P>[Adam as Karl]<br>Dear Fred, I meant to write you sooner<br>but I've been busy, all this economics makes me quite dizzy<br>I'm flattered that you talk about me all the time<br>saying what you believe is never a crime.<br>I'm glad you like my books, but in my old age I'm unable to write,<br>Now you're left with this capitalist s**te.<br>I have come up with one thing though - the link between god and money,<br>Using religion to control the public isn't funny.<br>Power to the people and none of the rest,<br>Anyway.. I Digress, All this stress - it's getting to me, I'm not at my best.<br>I'm happy now with my wife Jenny,<br>Even though we don't have a penny.<br>Most of my children have died, in my tiny inner-city semi<br>My wife started to cry, I started to itch,<br>I told her "Sit down you fat ugly b**ch". <br>After I cease to exist, I hope I will be missed,<br>If I'm not, I'll be well p***ed - fighting for what's right was never bliss.<br>There was this one guy, on the front page of the paper who was a Communist,<br>He rode this bike into a river, late one night.<br>On the back he had Bruno Bauer, <br>and in the basket there was a letter, <br>but it didn't say who it was to,<br>come to think about it was... it was you.<P>Damn.<br>
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