[easty]

Why doesn't Michael Barrymore have any ash trays in his house?<br><br>Cos he puts his fags out in the pool.<br><br> :-/<br><br>See how long that one lasts!

[Guest]

I told exactly the same joke and it got..........<br>It's common knowledge that one.<br>An 11 year kid told me that one<br>Wos it you easty?

[easty]

No sorry my brother told me it a few months ago and it just popped back into my head while readin some posts from a while ago. I was hoping that hadn't been the one you'd said but was worried it was never mind.<br><br>How about this one<br><br>Whats purple and doesn't fit?<br><br>A dead epileptic.<br><br>Apologies in advance if that offends anyone but it makes me laugh.

[Guest]

I'd laugh if it was funny.<br>Offensive I'd call it.<br>MW is diverse, Remember there may be epelitics on this board.<br><br>If there are any...<br><br>this message board uses strobe lighting.

[easty]

I know it could be taken as offensive but it shouldn't be, cos I know people who are epileptic and I'm not saying 'I hope they' die or anything, just making a joke.<br><br>Anyway never mind.<br><br>This a bit more wholesome for you (my grannies favourite joke ever!)<br><br>Knock knock<br><br>Who's there?<br><br>A man who can't reach the doorbell!<br><br>

[Guest]

Again, flawed<br><br>most houses have knockers at a higher height than the doorbell. Thus your man could not reach, or in fact he could be lazy or in fact totatly inaqudate

[easty]

He's knocking with his fist<br><br> <br><br>and no i'm not abusing midgets before you start!

[Ionic_Storm]

What if the person in the house is using the Hoover (sod you and your Vacums!) and can't hear the door, they go for the doorbell, and still don't hear? Then what? Eh? EH?!<br><br>Anyway, my favourite joke is-<br><br>*Points to himself* BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

[Guest]

yes ionic_storm, but not as good as this one- *points to jonny hoare*. funny stuff maynard.<br><br>just kidding, i love you hoare... or something like that.<br><br>kk

[Uglybob]

come on thats very likely having seen your penchant for a bit of john prescott

[Guest]

there's something wrong with my love for the plucky deputy prime minister?  if that is a crime, dear uglybob, then arrest me.<br><br>

[Guest]

kendrak - I glad you love me. <br>nobody loves me <br>I tried to be cool, but I am but a fool<br>Mr GRIMSDALE!!<br>(Norman Wisdom reference)<br><br>The White Cliffs Of Dover walks into a pub.<br>Barman says "why such a long face"<br>

[Becki_The_Llama]

i'll just tell a crappy joke a friend told me<br><br><br>The 100 nuns were sat at mass when the head preist said one of our nuns here has been in here on a night with a preist<br>99 nuns gasped and one nun giggled.<br>whats worse said the preist we found a condom<br>99 nuns gasped one nun giggled<br>but even worse said the priest there was a hole<br>99 nuns laughed one nun gasped

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

a nun joke that doesnt have the punchline "and the other had a stroke" theres a novelty.

[Guest]

Women walks into a chemists, a says to man behind the counter "my husbands crap in bed, have you got anything for his impotence". He gives some tablets and tells when she's frisky to give one to her fella. Anyway she comes in the next day, and the counter staff asked "How was last Night " to which the reply from the woman is "great, it certainly put the spark back into me and him, What if he takes two?" "they shouldn't be a problem" says the pharmacist. Anywaye way the woman comes back and says " Last night was mind blowing - it was brillant however- what if he took the lot" The pharmacist says that he does not know, but to try it anyway. The Following day, the pharmacist is surpised to see her son in the following day. "Where's your mum" "she's dead" "dead" "died of exhaustion, that's not the half of it, my next door neighbour is dead too, my sister is pregnant, the dogs whimpering, and I've got a sore arse" "Where's your dad" "oh dad's in the front room stark naked on his hands and knees shouting here kitty kitty"