- Thu Oct 25, 2001 6:44 pm
#116888
================<br><br>Type 2<br>Hello and thank you for reading this letter. You see, there is a starving little boy in Baklaliviatatlaglooshen who has no arms, no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life could be saved, because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be donated to the Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from Baklaliviatatlaglooshen Fund. Oh, and remember, we have absolutely no way of counting the emails sent and this is all a complete load of bullshit. So go on, reach out. Send this to 5 people in the next 47 seconds. Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or 6 people, you will die instantly. Thanks again!!<br><br>================<br><br>Type 3<br>Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since 1897. This is absolutely incredible because there was no email then and probably not as many sad pricks with nothing better to do. So this is how it works:<br><br>Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7 minutes or something horrible will happen to you like:<br>Bizarre Horror Story #1<br>Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday. She had recently received this letter and ignored it. She then tripped in a crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out over a waterfall. Not only did she smell nasty, she died. This Could Happen To You!!!<br>Bizarre Horror Story #2<br>Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his mail and ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both died and went to hell and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for eternity. This Could Happen To You Too!!!<br><br>Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just send this letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will be okay.<br><br>================<br><br>Type 4:<br>As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to every one of your friends. <br>Friends<br>A friend is someone who is always at your side,<br>A friend is someone who likes you even though you stink of shit, and your breath smells like you've been eating cat food,<br>A friend is someone who likes you even though you're as ugly as a that full of arseholes, <br>A friend is someone who cleans up for you after you've soiled yourself,<br>A friend is someone who stays with you all night while you cry about your sad, sad life,<br>A friend is someone who pretends they like you when they really think you should be raped by mad goats, then thrown to vicious dogs,<br>A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and then gets the cheque and leaves and doesn't speak much English...-no, sorry that's the cleaning lady,<br>A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters because he wants his wish of being rich to come true.<br><br>==================<br><br>Now pass this on! If you don't, you'll never have sex ever again. The point being?<br>If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shagless or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it. If it's funny, send it on.<br><br>Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth, who's been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years, whose only saviour is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this mail, otherwise you'll end up like Miranda. Right?<br><br>Now forward this to everyone you know otherwise you'll find all your knickers missing tomorrow morning. <br><br>No, really!!!<br>
My name is Simon Garden...