- Thu Jul 04, 2002 4:32 pm
#15575
It seems the Codger-capacitated Alzhiemers Express has pulled into Penzance - the place is full of them,most of them performing a manoeuvre known as the 'Tat Tangential' whereby they espy some tatty tourist trinket,such as a 'Heartbeat' hat or 'Emmerdale' dildo, and suddenly veer off thier scheduled trajectory into the path of any oncoming pedestrian- usualy cackling "Ooh THATS unusual" as they send children,prams and little puppy dogs a-crashin'to the floor.But I'm not bitter....and funny how the Great British grave dodger suddenly loses all sense of where thier body ends and somebody else's begins.I was recently in the queue for an 'Any Five Items' Breakfast Special when an octogenarian prolapser behind me began sliding her tray into my fingers.Not only did she end up with her five items before I did,she nudged my arm as she trembled towards the till - sending steaming tea splooshing onto my hash browns.I then had the misfortune to cop a pike at her boat as she mashed sausages between her gums.She had a wispy moustache and one of those 'anus mouths'- which put me off my morning sustainance.Got to love 'em though eh?