chrismoyles.net
- Sat Dec 11, 2004 11:47 pm
#160755
its quite plain to see that we are all a bit wanton at xmas. Can you really get excited with a pair of socks or trousers? Well I dont think so but ive been looking for presents and saw some real stinkers so ill do a wee rundown
1. Its Strictly Dancing with Natasha and Brendan
I hate Natasha Kaplinsky, from her ugly make-up reinforced face to her patronizing voice. The fella looks like a guy called Bernard, an old codger from the Carry On films. Here they dance and commentate on each dance.
2. Wahl WL5559 Wet 'n' Dry Nose Hair Trimmer (£9.97)
Now I have hair up my nose and yes i do sometimes pluck them when im bored with two fingers but there is no way im stick something electrical up my nose and definitely not when its wet.
3. Evening with Dickie Bird [AUDIOBOOK]
Synopsis
Dickie Bird is not only the world's most famous cricket umpire, he is also one of the most entertaining public speakers of our time. Here are anecdotes about the game he loves so much - and has served so well - with some fascinating behind the scenes glimpses of cricket around the world over the past forty years. The engaging character of the man, the down to earth wit of a great Yorkshireman and his outstanding gifts as a storyteller make this a recording to treasure.
Do i even have to give a reason. An old codger going on about cricket. its bad enough watching it on the telly for 7 hours, without some old git rabbiting on about it. I can almost hear it now "Do you remember the time the fella slipped on the grass when he was running for the ball"
4. Name A Rose (play.com - £17.99
This is a dubious thing, you dont name a rose, these roses already have a name, they are imperial roses. The shoddy thing is you give seeds to a person and say they are roses which are called the persons name, its absolute bull. How much do rose seeds cost anyway, probably a pound?
5. Illuminated USB/PS2 Keyboard
just so you can see your penis when your wánking in the dark to the Abi Titmuss video
6. Own A Piece of Buckingham Palace
you know what the piece is, a bit of a leaf thats fallen off a tree in the surrounding area. Great isnt it, and its put in a frame. cost - 18 quid.
A unique hand selected ROYAL LEAF, fallen from the private walled gardens of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II's London home, carefully packaged with a gold frame gift set, which can then later be personalised with your own name.
This fantastic new gift set includes:
An A4 sized gold frame with hanging hook, size 320 x 240 mm
A freshly sealed ROYAL LEAF of approx size: 120 x 120 mm
Certificate of authenticity, which can be personalised
Royal blue framing card to mount the ROYAL LEAF
Full set of instructions on how to personalise your framed gift
1. Its Strictly Dancing with Natasha and Brendan
I hate Natasha Kaplinsky, from her ugly make-up reinforced face to her patronizing voice. The fella looks like a guy called Bernard, an old codger from the Carry On films. Here they dance and commentate on each dance.
2. Wahl WL5559 Wet 'n' Dry Nose Hair Trimmer (£9.97)
Now I have hair up my nose and yes i do sometimes pluck them when im bored with two fingers but there is no way im stick something electrical up my nose and definitely not when its wet.
3. Evening with Dickie Bird [AUDIOBOOK]
Synopsis
Dickie Bird is not only the world's most famous cricket umpire, he is also one of the most entertaining public speakers of our time. Here are anecdotes about the game he loves so much - and has served so well - with some fascinating behind the scenes glimpses of cricket around the world over the past forty years. The engaging character of the man, the down to earth wit of a great Yorkshireman and his outstanding gifts as a storyteller make this a recording to treasure.
Do i even have to give a reason. An old codger going on about cricket. its bad enough watching it on the telly for 7 hours, without some old git rabbiting on about it. I can almost hear it now "Do you remember the time the fella slipped on the grass when he was running for the ball"
4. Name A Rose (play.com - £17.99
This is a dubious thing, you dont name a rose, these roses already have a name, they are imperial roses. The shoddy thing is you give seeds to a person and say they are roses which are called the persons name, its absolute bull. How much do rose seeds cost anyway, probably a pound?
5. Illuminated USB/PS2 Keyboard
just so you can see your penis when your wánking in the dark to the Abi Titmuss video
6. Own A Piece of Buckingham Palace
you know what the piece is, a bit of a leaf thats fallen off a tree in the surrounding area. Great isnt it, and its put in a frame. cost - 18 quid.
A unique hand selected ROYAL LEAF, fallen from the private walled gardens of Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II's London home, carefully packaged with a gold frame gift set, which can then later be personalised with your own name.
This fantastic new gift set includes:
An A4 sized gold frame with hanging hook, size 320 x 240 mm
A freshly sealed ROYAL LEAF of approx size: 120 x 120 mm
Certificate of authenticity, which can be personalised
Royal blue framing card to mount the ROYAL LEAF
Full set of instructions on how to personalise your framed gift
dave benson phillips
