Grave Diggaz - chrismoyles.net forum

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Grave Diggaz#16903

By gem - Tue Jul 16, 2002 8:46 pm

- Tue Jul 16, 2002 8:46 pm #16903

Following a bizzare conversation I had with my dad recently, I thought this might make a good topic.

We got talking about epitaphs and what we wanted put on our grave headstones, here's a few we came up with before my mother came in.

'Excuse me your dog is pissing on my head.'
'Boo.'
'Thanks, that was fun.'
'Do you mind? You're standing on my foot.'
'I'm watching you.'
'Is it raining?'
'F*ck off til wednesday.'
'I'm not in.'
'Don't bother me now.'
'Don't call me, I'll call you.'
'AAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRGHHHHHHH!'
'Are you waiting for someone?'
'Are you lost?'
'London fifteen miles.'

Your turn.

I ain't vacuuming until they invent one I can ride on.

#16904

By Lawrie - Tue Jul 16, 2002 8:51 pm

- Tue Jul 16, 2002 8:51 pm #16904

"heres one of lifes little puzzlers....

why doesnt glue stick inside its tube?

now while you think of this.........

lift your head up in the sky turn around a little and.....F*CK OFF AND LEAVE ME IN PEACE!"

Leeds through and through....like a big tunnel

*The ginge who used to be known as drlozbaker*

#16919

By Matt - Tue Jul 16, 2002 10:16 pm

- Tue Jul 16, 2002 10:16 pm #16919

On the subject of headstones...

Two sisters lived together, and one became quite ill. Actually her doctor told her she had but a short time to live. She spoke to her sister and said "Jennie, when I
die and you put up a gravestone, I want you to inscribe it just the way I tell you. "I want them to put my name on it and underneath":

"BORN A VIRGIN"
"LIVED A VIRGIN"
"DIED A VIRGIN"

She died shortly thereafter, and Jennie went to the maker of tombstones and explained what inscription she wanted. The gravestone maker told her that there were simply too many words to be put on a headstone. Jennie complained
that those words were her sisters dying request and the gravestone maker reassured her that he would see what he could do.

In about a month the gravestone maker called Jennie and told her the tombstone was ready, and that he had complied with her dead sisters wishes as best as he
could. Jennie looked at the tombstone and across the top was her sister's name just as she had asked, and underneath that was printed:

RETURNED--UNOPENED

Ba dum tish...

#16920

By Funky Drummer - Tue Jul 16, 2002 10:17 pm

- Tue Jul 16, 2002 10:17 pm #16920

Billy Connolly was being interviewd (I think it was on Parkinson) and he said that what he's going to arrange for is a speaker hidden under the soil and a little pressure sensor in front of his gravestone so that when someone stands on it it screams AARRRGGGGHHHHH!