[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

i was thinking about pears today they are surely the j-lo of all fruit. i mean you have your bananas which are your kinda clint eastwood ready for action with own outer covering for your convenience. your apple comes in a number of varieties and can be used for a number of purposes. your grape thats a staple but comes in a large bunch kinda lika a member of blazing squad. and then you have like your melons which make me think of kelly brooks because ultimately its not as good as it looks. which brings you back to pears which are essentially an apple with a fat arse.

very confusing.

[Quincy]

jam. you could say its just jam. the way i look at it, its a kind of a fruit union. a union that fruit can join up to. raspberry and strawberry, theyre the main block voters in this union. theyve got all the power. the apple decided to leave the union, did very niceley. got a pie, got a crumble, got a sauce. well the pear decided to follow the apple. it didnt do so well, didnt get a pie, didnt get a crumble, very rairly included in a trifel. you wont see the name of a pear gracing the side of any yhogurt. the only thing the pear get is soap. tomato is in fact a fruit but keeps it quite and hides it from the union to aviod paying the fees. it does very well. gets a sauce, gets a puree, gets a juice, got the whole italian food system sown up basically. good luck to em.

fruit does not get on with nuts. they will collaborate in a bag for a sale. theyre not stupid. when you open a bag of mixed fruit and nut you can almost sense the tension cant you?

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

nuts is a very complex area though and you have to be careful with your language so as not to offend the nutters as the fanatics are known. brazil nuts tend to be sensitive and hang around with fruits especially around brussells, thats in belgium not the sprouds. salted nuts are more hardy and like trips to blackpool but roasted ones I hear hang around premiership grounds handing out lawsuits.

dont get me started on peas.

[Quincy]

i pitty the almond. to broad and flat to be a peanut. too small to be a brazil. its shell too easily shed to be considered for the role of pistachio. not curley enough to be a cashew. not wrinkled enough to be a walnut. the poor almond

[Quincy]

Well I was thinking the other day, which do I prefer, tea or coffee? Well it’s a very common question so I thought to myself lets make a mental list of the pros and cons of tea and the aforementioned coffee, two very different things working as a team, highly effective. Well theyre both brown drinks aren’t they, tea and coffee, most drinks are brown though, tea, coffee, beer, pepsi, cola, all brown drinks. Well tea tends to make you want to go to the toilet. Coffee, tends to keep you awake all night. Tea comes in bags, well coffee comes in bags but people don’t tend to buy bags of coffee they buy instant coffee, well you can buy instant tea, but people don’t tend to buy instant tea they buy bags of tea and make pots of tea, well you can make pots of coffee, but people tend to make cups of coffee.

Basically there are many differences between tea on the one hand and coffee on the other and really its up to you and what you prefer at any particular time.

[Ickle Angel]

This thread is hilarious

[DemonHorse]

Only these two could write this....

[Uglybob]

i like a good monkey nut. dont like them nuts that taste a bit milky that are shaped like minature bananas

[Sheep]

lol while on the subject of fruit, theres a huge discussion going round my school at the min, about weather pineapples grow on trees or underground.
Im sure they grow on trees but people seem to disagree

[Uglybob]

trees

fruit - raisins arent fruit, fruit and nut - i expect raspberries.

[Walter Sobchak]

Apples and Pears, the Kings and Queens of the fruit world.



Apples = ScrumpyMans drink (not that stuff in bottles, but straight from the farm - AKA 'Rotgut' "it does just what it says on the tin").



Pears = Perry Ladies drink like "Babycham" or imitation champagne usually priced at under £2.00

[DemonHorse]

Apples and Pears, the Kings and Queens of the fruit world.



Apples = ScrumpyMans drink (not that stuff in bottles, but straight from the farm - AKA 'Rotgut' "it does just what it says on the tin").

Yeah that bottle of cider I have still to drink is Scrumpy, a brand called Rampant Rosie funnily enough.

[Sidders]

This thread has been ruined.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

I didn't think it was possible to ruin it.... but they did succeed. Also this thread is all Quincy's fault.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Ok i admit it I need to know....... did anyone get my political jibe?

[Quincy]

I didn't think it was possible to ruin it.... but they did succeed. Also this thread is all Quincy's fault.

well at least some people could have kept it going in a mildly amusing manner. its not my fault

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

it was important it was only mildy... we didnt want it descending into guffawing.

[DemonHorse]

Ok i admit it I need to know....... did anyone get my political jibe?

I did..... errr kinda

[tombugler]

Ok i admit it I need to know....... did anyone get my political jibe?

I got it. Roasted... Lawsuit... Premiership football...

[Sidders]

Ok i admit it I need to know....... did anyone get my political jibe?

No.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Ok i admit it I need to know....... did anyone get my political jibe?

I got it. Roasted... Lawsuit... Premiership football...

Clearly you didn't then. It was a Mandleson slight.