[Mafro]

Went into work the other day to find out that there was a spider in a crate of bananas the warehouse staff were unloading. It wasn't a little spider or anything, it was a proper tarantula thing about the size of a small plate, luckily it was dead otherwise I would have thoroughly shat myself.

[Quincy]

my mate ian shat himself at work a few years ago. we were mucking about climbing in some boxes and he done a massive wet fart. he thought he was safe for a moment then he realised the peril of wet farts. he had to throw his pants away.

[Mafro]

At my mates annual BBQ, one of my mates got absolutely wasted, drank a whole bottle of JD and smoked a whole joint. He passed out so we dragged him into a bedroom and left him there for a couple of hours. When we went back to check on him we found out that he had shat himself and it was all over the room and the walls, god knows what he was doing. He then managed to get it on the bathroom door handle, the sink, the walls and on the toilet seat. The smell was unbearable but because I was wasted, it was the funniest thing I had ever seen, I almost spewed because I was laughing that much.

[kendra k]

amazing.

my friend shat himself at work yesterday. a wet fart turned into underpants full of shit. poor guy.

[Adam]

Ha ha ha ha.

[kendra k]

i love how a thread about spiders became a thread about crapping oneself.

[Adam]

does one talk like that in the us ?

[Quincy]

adam have you been having a few too many sherberts??

[Sidders]

I would literally have died on the spot if I was there and that spider had been alive. I am terrified of spids.

[Quincy]

diagnosis: saw a spider

[Sidders]

It would be etched on my gravestone.

[kendra k]

spiders aren't so bad. people who are afraid of them make me laugh so hard i could potentially crap myself.

[MK Chris]

I don't understand the whole spider thing to be fair - my mum is petrified of them and then laughs at me cos I dance around like an idiot whenever there's a wasp around - I have a phobia of wasps, which I consider to be rational because they can sting and I was stung by one as a kid. I know spiders can be poisonous, but not in this country.

That said - daddy long legs - haha, how much did god not like you? One of the most poisonous creatures on the planet with no fangs to do anything about it.

[Betti911]

I'm not scared of wee beasties. Think wasps etc can sense you are scared and thats (mostly) when they sting you.

[Quincy]

yes they have fear sense.

[Sidders]

I don't understand the whole spider thing to be fair - my mum is petrified of them and then laughs at me cos I dance around like an idiot whenever there's a wasp around - I have a phobia of wasps, which I consider to be rational because they can sting and I was stung by one as a kid. I know spiders can be poisonous, but not in this country.

I don't understand how you could not be scared of spiders. They look so horrible. Wasps don't bother me in the slightest.

[MK Chris]

But spiders can't harm you.

[kendra k]

most can't. i get a little weird around spiders wite noticeable fangs. i give them space and shoo them out of my house. otherwise i really don't care.

[Gigglyboots]

I don't understand the spider thing. It's hilarious when my flatmates run out the shower screaming, so I go and get the spider and taunt them with it.

I am scared of birds though, which is probably a bit weird.

[MK Chris]

most can't. i get a little weird around spiders wite noticeable fangs. i give them space and shoo them out of my house. otherwise i really don't care.

I can most definitely understand that, but you don't get them round these here parts.

[kendra k]

i have a plastic spider on my desk. it used to be on the student worker desk next to mine, but one of my student employees (the one i am to fire) freaked out and demanded it be moved. when she bugs me, i put it back on the desk and she runs out.

i'm sorta mean.

[MK Chris]

Mean would be to have it on the desk all the time. And every now and again throw it at her.

My desk at work is messier than yours.

[Mafro]

i get a little weird around spiders wite noticeable fangs.

This ones fangs were very noticable!

[Adam]

have you sold the story to fife today ?

[Mafro]

No, but if I did sell it, it would be to the Glenrothes Gazette.