[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

robbed from another message board...


Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this. Many Sydney folk DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.

The DJs Play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification.

If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win a prize. One particular game, however, made Sydney drop to its knees with laughter and is Possibly the funniest thing heard on radio yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is ED on Fox FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?" Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have"

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold
Coast if you win. What is your name? First name only please".

Contestant: "Brian"

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?

Brian: "Yes".

DJ: "Yes? Does that mean you're married or you're what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married"

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First name only
please"

Brian: "Sara"

DJ: "Is Sara at work Brian?"

Brian: "She's gonna kill me"

DJ: "Stay with me here Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work"

DJ: "OK, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "She's gonna kill me"

DJ: "Brian, stay with me here!"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning"

DJ: "Atta boy Brian"

Brian: (laughing sheepishly): "Well...."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes"

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have
said that if a trip wasn't at stake"

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice"

DJ: "OK. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this
morning?"

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well...."

DJ: "This sounds good Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mom is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh"

Brian: "And the mother in law was in the shower at the time"

DJ: "Atta boy Brian"

Brian: "On the kitchen table"

DJ: "Not that great? That is more adventure than the previous
hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian
hold, get his wife's work number and call her up. You listen to
this. 3 minutes of commercials follow)

DJ: "OK audience, let's call Sara, shall we?"
(touch tones...ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos"

DJ: "Hey is Sara around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she"

DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with Fox FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking to Brian for a couple of hours now"

Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any answers away or you'll lose. Soooooo, do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"

Sara: "No"

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, OK? Be
completely honest"

DJ: "Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions Sara. If Your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you
will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us"

Sara: (laughing) "yes"

DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex Sara?"

Sara: "Oh God, Brian...uh, this morning before Brian went to work"

DJ: "What time?"

Sara: "Around 8 this morning"

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe"

DJ: "Hmmm, that's close enough. I'm sure she is trying to protect
his manhood. We've got one last question Sarah. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"

Sara: (laughing) "Yes"

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sara: "OH MY GOD BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"

Brian: "Just tell them honey"

DJ: "What is bothering you so much Sara?"

Sara: "well....."

DJ: "Come on Sara...where did you have it?"

Sara: "Up the arse..."

After a long pause, the DJ said: "Folks, we need a take station
break"

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

http://rainybeetle.blogspot.com/2005/07 ... verts.html

some ads for you too... some dont seem to work though.

[Nicky]

True or not, thats brilliant.

[Quincy]

il ike it.

[DC]

Sara... hmmmm.

[Quincy]

maybe she doesnt have a vagina and its a tranny?

hmmmmm

[Betti911]

And her real name's Brian.

[Diffusionuk]

half true..

http://www.snopes.com/radiotv/tv/newlywed.htm

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

The Seven Dwarfs go to the Vatican, and because they are "the Seven dwarfs" they get ushered in to see the Pope.

Dopey leads the pack.

"Dopey my son," says the Pope, "what can I do for you?"

Dopey asks, "Excuse me, Your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?"

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, "No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome."

In the background a few of the dwarfs begin giggling.

Dopey turns around and gives them a glare, silencing them.

Dopey turns back to face the Pope.

"Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?"

The Pope, puzzled again, thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No Dopey, there are no dwarf nuns in all of Europe."

This time all the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Dopey turns around and silences them all with an angry glare.

Dopey turns back to the Pope and says, "Mr. Pope, are there ANY Dwarf nuns in the whole world?"

The Pope answers, "I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world."

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling, and laughing, pounding on the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks as they begin chanting:

"Dopey shagged a penguin!" "Dopey shagged a penguin!"

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

a version of the "up the arse" joke is also told in Sea of Love.. i just noticed as I watched it.

good film.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

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stolen joke number 178:

2 Tramps walking down beside a railway track. One tramp turns to the other and says "This is my lucky stretch of track. Last month I found a case of whisky, took back to my matress, underneath the arches and got pissed for a week!"

"Lucky barstard!" replied the other tramp.

A couple of miles later down track it was the other tramps lucky stretch of track. He explained to the first tramp, "last month, I got to here and there was a woman, naked, tied to the tracks. So I untied her and we went back to my matress underneath the arches and we fuuucked all weekend, I mean we did everything!"
"Wow! You lucky barstard!" replied the first tramp, "You did everything! Did she suck your kock?"
"No" he replied, "I couldn't find her head."