[The Cornishman]

Penzance,West Cornwall lies at the very bottom of the Western hemisphere.Home of Sir James Watt inventor of the steam locomotive who set off in his big train to seek new worlds and new civilizations,he was the first man ever to knock over and kill a kangaroo with 'roo bars attached to a four-wheeled cannonette.Also a temporary home to Mr C Dracula who paid a brief visit to Penzance in 1756,many of whom's relatives are still alive today,and usually stand in the corner bars effecting the manner of simpletons.
With it's narrow cobbled streets and cobbler's shops Penzance is now Europe's most visited resort.With it's miles of golden sandy beaches, casinos and theme Hotels Penzance is also becoming a haven for the rich and famous.Jimmy Nail was recently spotted eating a whelk on the seafront,and former Manchester United player Andy Ritchie often stops off at the Harassed Haddock fish restaraunt.
Penzance Folk Week attracts some of the biggest names in music, including The Mrs Ackroyd Band,The Winklers and Bobby Legend.
Wildlife is abundant too- so much so that it is often possible to witness seals being clubbed to death on Sennen Beach and seagulls being culled in the popular 'Children's Twatathon' at the foot of St micheals Mount.
But don't take my word for it-come to Penzance its...er great!!!

[MK Chris]

I'd go. But unfortunately I have to... erm... feed the dog.

[Morals]

I'll be on the next train

[Jonny Hoare]

If you fall asleep then that wheere you end up. it's a rail terminus....