[The Cornishman]

This very morning I purchased an item which the manufacturer describes as having a built in 'ACTIVE PERFORMANCE SYSTEM' 'What is it?' you ask,a new twin carburettor?,a handy personal heart monitor perhaps? Maybe its an infra-red weapons guidance system the good Cornishman has just purloined?Nope.It's a pair of UNDERPANTS Ma-am!Perhaps if I catalyticaly combine it with ceramide Non-bio in a gravity inertia whirlpool I may be able to get the p*ss stains off the front....

[The Cornishman]

As I sit here now with my bottle of Volvic I am told:
"Nowadays,the natural power of volcanoes is harnessed in every bottle of Volvic"
I nervously opened said container with some trepadation but it tastes like normal water to me.

[LE_VEY]

random

[Morals]

It sayson the adverts volvic gives you volcanicity, but my ears are still the same shape they always were, and no matter how many times I try, I just can't quite get that vulcan neck pinch thing to work

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

volcanicity in that it is actually tap water from a villa in spain an after the runs it gives you you will feel like you sat on a volcano...