chrismoyles.net
- Thu Apr 18, 2002 11:13 pm
#241419
Chris is still hungover after he drank to 4am last night after watching the football in the pub. He is going out tonight again but this time with his boss Andy Parfitt. Chris suggests taking him to see Bonnie in Stringfellows. Will thinks that would be a wrong move and says he has never been to a lapdancing club. Chris reckons he should go to Secrets. Secrets i would be led to believe is a downmarket strip joint.
Chris doesnt understand the concept of American Football. He says the majority are brick outhouses so why do they need all that padding. Chris says while he was jogging today he spotted a woman wearing a really tight sorta g-string like spandex pants and says that she shouldnt have wore them because there was 4 ripples so it looked like she has 2 arses. Dave came out with the line The Kind Of Arse You Could Build A Farm On.
Dave has to explain to Chris the premise to Weekend At Bernies 2 as Chris hasnt seen it. Chris has Uncle Buck with John Candy on video and DVD. Will says if this is the A List celeb they are talking toin America. Chris reminds him that John Candy is dead. Chris plays the Elvis song A Little Less Conversation remixed by dance outfit JXL released on the 10th June. Chris explains that this is the first time an Elvis song has been cleared for a dance remix. Chris says that the copyright for all Elvis songs are up soon so the people who have them will try to buy them back by selling new Best Ofs and making money off the back of this remix. Chris likens Lizzies legs to that of a Golden Retriever. Lizzie is not happy by the remark. Melissa Joan Hart is 26 today. They talk about the cat in Sabrina being the worst animantronics ever seen. Dave calls it a brush with eyes. Chris tells a joke. Theres a fellow walking down a road when he hears chanting. He realises it comes from over the fence.The chants go 13, 13, 13 ... . He cant get over the fence because its too tall and cant go to the end because it seems to be never endng. The chants continue 13, 13, 13.... He suddenly spots a hole in the fence. He bends down to look in and when he does a fellow pokes him in the eyes and they start chanting 14, 14, 14. It sounded better spoken ok.
Chris wants to know how you measure your cup size and asks the newsreader but she doesnt know. They get a webpage up and Dave calls out instructions to Lizzie. First measure below your boobs. She is a 29 which Dave says to add 5 to which is 34. You then measure the top of your boobs.
If there is no difference - You Are An A
1 inch difference - B
2 inch difference - C
Note that this doesnt really sound right as they said Lizzie was a 34c and Chris a 46d. Chris is getting a bit more pissed off with Daves comments about his height being 5ft 10 so decides once and for all to measure Dave. Chris reckons he is still only 5ft 7. Dave looks smug as the answer is 70inches which makes him 5ft 10.
Big Blubber - DAY 69
Dave - doing really well and is working hard at his muscles
Will - Slept in on Tuesday due to jet lag but gave an impressive performance today
Lizzie - Concentration was lacking, was showing off her figure too much to passers by and looking at dog poo
Chris - has lost 1 pound, a great week until today when he stank and smelt of booze but
CHRIS HOLDS ON TO THE LICKY LICKY BROWN NOSE AWARD FOR A 2ND WEEK
The final parts of the show was Chris building up to his meeting with his boss. So the usual drinking habits chat.
Chris doesnt understand the concept of American Football. He says the majority are brick outhouses so why do they need all that padding. Chris says while he was jogging today he spotted a woman wearing a really tight sorta g-string like spandex pants and says that she shouldnt have wore them because there was 4 ripples so it looked like she has 2 arses. Dave came out with the line The Kind Of Arse You Could Build A Farm On.
Dave has to explain to Chris the premise to Weekend At Bernies 2 as Chris hasnt seen it. Chris has Uncle Buck with John Candy on video and DVD. Will says if this is the A List celeb they are talking toin America. Chris reminds him that John Candy is dead. Chris plays the Elvis song A Little Less Conversation remixed by dance outfit JXL released on the 10th June. Chris explains that this is the first time an Elvis song has been cleared for a dance remix. Chris says that the copyright for all Elvis songs are up soon so the people who have them will try to buy them back by selling new Best Ofs and making money off the back of this remix. Chris likens Lizzies legs to that of a Golden Retriever. Lizzie is not happy by the remark. Melissa Joan Hart is 26 today. They talk about the cat in Sabrina being the worst animantronics ever seen. Dave calls it a brush with eyes. Chris tells a joke. Theres a fellow walking down a road when he hears chanting. He realises it comes from over the fence.The chants go 13, 13, 13 ... . He cant get over the fence because its too tall and cant go to the end because it seems to be never endng. The chants continue 13, 13, 13.... He suddenly spots a hole in the fence. He bends down to look in and when he does a fellow pokes him in the eyes and they start chanting 14, 14, 14. It sounded better spoken ok.
Chris wants to know how you measure your cup size and asks the newsreader but she doesnt know. They get a webpage up and Dave calls out instructions to Lizzie. First measure below your boobs. She is a 29 which Dave says to add 5 to which is 34. You then measure the top of your boobs.
If there is no difference - You Are An A
1 inch difference - B
2 inch difference - C
Note that this doesnt really sound right as they said Lizzie was a 34c and Chris a 46d. Chris is getting a bit more pissed off with Daves comments about his height being 5ft 10 so decides once and for all to measure Dave. Chris reckons he is still only 5ft 7. Dave looks smug as the answer is 70inches which makes him 5ft 10.
Big Blubber - DAY 69
Dave - doing really well and is working hard at his muscles
Will - Slept in on Tuesday due to jet lag but gave an impressive performance today
Lizzie - Concentration was lacking, was showing off her figure too much to passers by and looking at dog poo
Chris - has lost 1 pound, a great week until today when he stank and smelt of booze but
CHRIS HOLDS ON TO THE LICKY LICKY BROWN NOSE AWARD FOR A 2ND WEEK
The final parts of the show was Chris building up to his meeting with his boss. So the usual drinking habits chat.
