The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241528
((New Music Spoof Ad) 1. Avril Lavigne - Complicated 2. Roger Sanchez - Another Chance 3. Doves - Caught By The River 4. Ms Dynamite - Dynamighty 5. Trucks - Its Just Porn Mum NEWS 6. Eminem - Cleaning Out My Closet 7. JJ72 - Formulae 8. No Doubt - Underneath It All 9. Tim Deluxe - It Just Wont Do 10. Samantha Mumba - Im Right Here 11. Puddle Of Mudd - She Hates Me 12. Aaliyah - More Than A Woman 13. Badly Drawn Boy - You Were Right 14. Shaggy - Hey Sexy Lady NEWS 15. Pink - Just Like A Pill 16. Moby - Natural Blues 17. Richard Ashcroft - Check The Meaning 18. Shy Fx - Shake Your Body 19. Blue - One Love NEWS 20. Oasis - Little By Little 21. ODB feat Kelis - Got Yo Money 22. Sophie Ellis Bextor - Music Gets The Best Of Me 23. Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way 24. Jakatta/Seal - My Vision 25. Tone Loc - Funky Cold Medina (Rap Attack) 26 Alicia Keys/Eve - Gangsta Luvin 27. Holly Valance - Down Boy

Chris - What you do last night young David?
Dave - I went out with the girlfriend and a mutual friend of ours.
Chris - Threesome.
Dave - Well if you like yes.
Chris - Was the mutual friend male or female?
Dave - Female.
Chris - (Adopts Ali G voice) Aiiiiiiiiii, cute?
Dave - Yes.
Chris - Really, does your girlfriend have any friends that you kind of fancy and this is allright to talk about this because your girlfriend doesnt listen.
Dave - Thats right... um... no
Chris - Thats a yes then, hesitation, Will, does your girlfriend have any friends that you fancy?
Will - No.
Chris - That you would snog?
Will - No.
Chris - Dave, does your girlfriend have any friends that you would like to snog?
Dave - No.
Chris - Lizzie, does your boyfriend have any friends that you quite fancy?
Lizzie - I havent met his friends, well ive met a couple.
Chris - Right and out of those that you met, definite no id imagine. Wazzup Dude (Spit-bang noise). Your a hottie laydee. Oh its just a thought.
Dave - I can honestly say that no...
Chris - So are you saying all your girlfriends friends are dogs?
Dave - No.
Will - You see, I knew he would do that.
Dave - Well you know, everyone has a particular type and it just so happens that none of them fit my criteria.
Chris - My last girlfriend, out of all the friends she had, there were a few I quite fancied. I dont know about my current situation because I havent met any of her friends.
Dave - Well hang on a second, my girlfriend is a very good friend of your ex girlfriend so are you trying to say that you fancy mine.
Chris - Id have copped off with your lass yeah.
Dave - I take that as a huge compliment.
Chris - Well I think you should, shes very cute and shes got a lovely set on her. Shes got a nice little body and shes pretty, your lass. You should take it as a compliment.
Dave - Well thats the highest honour you can bestow a woman.
(Will Laughs)
Chris - Whereas Wills girlfriend...
Will - Dont you dare go there.
Chris - I wouldnt touch with a barge pole.
Dave - Dont you go there, What do you mean exactly?
Chris - I dont want to go there but thanks for the invitation.
Will - Thats not very nice.
Chris - Mate im only joking, you know if I was drunk I might cop off with her.
Will - Stop It.
Chris - Wait, Now lets be honest...
Will - Say you fancy her otherwise Ill be in trouble.
Chris - But I dont, shes a ghinger.
Will - Nothing wrong with ghingers.
Chris - No, they just dont float my boat, dont take it personally, there are some good looking ginger people but I wouldnt put your lass in that category. My lass you quite fancy her.
Will - Oh yeah.
Chris - Dave, you do because you said things to me, not dodgy things.
Dave - Hang on Hang On, Lets just clear this up a second. What I have said to you in the past about your current squeeze isthat she is a beautiful lady and I was encouraging you...
Chris - I think your words were when I was wasnt going out with her. You went I think your mad mate because shes beautiful and I think your insane.
Dave - Well I was urging you on and Im glad to see that its reached its fruition.
Chris - I dont even know what that means.
Dave - Copped off, Legover.


The Music Spoof advert was made up of unknown Spanish songs with one of them sounding like a Spanish version of the Bee Gees Stayin' Alive. The first link was taken up by Chris pretending to be Radio 1 DJ's but they all sounded the same with the legendary lisp, only with Nemone sounding a bit gruffer.
Tonight is Psychic Night for Dave and his girlfriend and they quite lazily replayed last Wednesdays talk about it. Will has decided to come with them. They asked Georgina after the news and she said that shes been to one and she believed in it. Chris also debuted The Best Georgina clips in the world.. Ever. They managed to rope in Mark Goodier to do the spoof advert and featured classic lines such as All Four Fingers, Wassup This Is Tweet and Skinny Lady Milk.
After the news Chris opened the lines for people who had been to Psychic Readings. One fella was with his girlfriend and he was ready to dump her, and she thought that to get through the rocky patch they would go to a psychic reading. They forked out £150 to get their birthcharts etc done. The psychic said that they will get over their problems and live together for the rest of their lives. He dumped her two days later and is now married to another woman. The next caller said that a mate went to a psychic reading and was met with a sign saying Psychic Reading cancelled due to unforseen circumstances. Surely they would have predicted that they could have done it on a day they were free.
Will had a Guess Who which Dave also knew. Chris and Lizzie had to guess and she guessed correctly with Paul McKenna. Laugh Out Loud moments as Chris played Paul McKenna clips.
The FHM Help Desk - If your male and buy FHM (which is probably the majority), you will know that last month you got a wee silver book called High Street Honeys. The problem is that FHM has lost contact details for one of the girls and want your help to get in contact with her. It wont matter because she wont win anyway but they want to contact Sarah Harper, 21 from Surrey, Number 48 in the booklet and she is a dancer. Methinks its not ballet by looking at the ass. My favourite is a page back from that called Suzanne Steel, number 46. The team picked all the single girls and then ask for contact details for them too.
They got Sarah Harper on the phone. She wasnt listening and she was a lapdancer at Spearmint Rhyno. She sounded a bit thick and she was on the motorway with her boyfriend. Maybe im being a bit hard on her but since when at Dance lessons do you learn Lapdancing moves.

Daves Tedious Link
Happy Mondays Step On - Opposite it Step Off - Off rhymes with Bough as in Frank Bough - He shares his forename with Mad Frankie Fraser - The series Frasier stars Kelsey Grammar as shrink Dr Frasier Crane - Frasier Crane shares the same surname as Andy Crane who used to work with Ed the Duck - The most famous breed of duck is a mallard - Mallard sounds a bit like wellard - Well'ard is the name of Robbie Jacksons dog - Janet Jackson had a 1986 hit with Nasty - Nasty rhymes with Pastie - A famous producer of pasties is Ginsters - The word Ginsters shares many of the same letters as the word Gangstars - Guy Ritchie makes movies about gangstars and is married to Madonna - Madonna sounds a bit like Medina - Which links us to Funky Cold Medina by Tone Loc (younger people out there might recognise this as the tune from the Nescafe Afro Advert but older people, like me, remember this as the original classic)

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