The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
#241598
1. Avril Lavigne-Sk8er Boi, 2. Ja Rule-Girls, 4. Red Hot Chilli Peppers-Zephlar Song NEWS, 5. Christina Aguilera-Dirrty, 6. Coldplay-The Scientist, 7. Jurgen Vries feat CMC-Opera Song (Brave New World), 8. JaRrule- Always on time, 9. DJ Sammy-Heaven, 10. Exucutioners-Going Down, 11. Macy Gray-Walking in a Winter Wonderland, 12. Sugababes-Stronger, 13. Jameson-Angel Blue, NEWS, 15. Feeder-Just The Way Im Feeling, David Sneedon-Stop Living The Lie, Robbie Williams-How Peculiar, Vanessa Carlton-Thousand Miles, NEWS, Missy Elliott-Work It, Underworld-Two Months Off, Badly Drawn Boy-Born Again, Nelly-Hot In Herre, Pogues & Kirsty McColl-Fairytale Of New York, Love Inc-Your A Superstar, Kylie-Come Into My World

Chris put together a Everton mix for Dave for the top of the show, as Everton won over the weekend. He put some Everton clips over Things can only get better Never gonna give you up The only way is up and Zoom. He couldn't find a way out of it so he played a clip of Alan Smith scoring for Leeds.
Chris tells Aled that he should be ashamed of himself for saying he didn't want David to win Fame Academy, when Chris and Dave had of course supported him right from the start.
Chris isn't particularly excited about the game tonight, he's worried about Leeds lack of strikers. Dave explained the six-pointer game to Aled.
Chris went to the wedding of Dominic and Kirsty yesterday and it was freezing, he was shivering all the way through. Their mate Sandy was there and he's not religious at all. He had no idea how to behave in church and when he got up to read he started by saying Good Afternoon everybody, I'm now going to read a prayer. Next link Dave read out an e-mail from Sandy saying that Chris got the name of the bride wrong - She's called Janet not Kirsty. However don't worry because they're on their honeymoon. The next e-mail is from the aforementioned Janet and Dominic saying they are listening over the internet and Chris is screwed!

Todays Guest was David Sneddon, the winner from Fame Acadamy
- Told Chris he wasn't nervous at all about coming on the show.
- Chris tells him to check the mileage on the car he's won, as if Patrick Kielty got his hands on it it's likely to be high.
- In his new flat there is a doorman which he's very excited about. David calls him 'doorman' because it makes him sound like a superhero.
- The flat is really nice, the team are impressed because it has two toilets.
- He loves football and will be watching the Leeds V Bolton game later on. He supports Rangers.
- Chris tells David that Aled didn't want him to win. David replied that Aled sent him a card saying he really hopes he will win. Chris tells David to get 'Doorman' to sort him out.
- The first thing he did when he won was touch Cat Deeley's arse.
- One of his main musical influences are Wet Wet Wet! He said its because he couldn't think of any other Scottish bands at the time.
- He wants to live the rock and roll dream of throwing a TV off a balcony. Chris hinted that he will let him do this on the TV show tonight.
- Chris tells David to change his last name.
- David used to present 'Inside's Out', a CBBC telly show. I remember this now it's been said and he was useless on it!

He sang his debut solo single in the live lounge and it will be released on 13th January 2003. It will be interesting to see whether this makes the playlist on Thursday. Aled hid because he didnt want David to win on Friday. FA ALED was officially killed off from the show. Looking at the Radio schedules, Chris works up to Xmas Eve and then has a whole week off. David will be appearing on the Chris Moyles show tonight with Les Dennis guesting all week as Father Christmas. Two words come to hand, that being barrel and scraping. The telly show ends this Friday. Will it come back. It had been recommisioned at the end of October but the viewing figures have steadily fallen from the 1 million high it got in October. Last Mondays was viewed by 0.2 million.
Chris received some Xmas crackers from Stringfellow and Tony Byrne. They all contained frilly knickers. Bit O Class. Chris felt he was sad as he recognised the girl in the front of the crackers. Chris wanted Aled to model the thongs on the webcam.

One Life - Sex, Drugs and Drink - The Show Highlight Transcript Time

Chris - If you want a dirty stopout survival kit, which I have here and Jude was very excited by this and she said its a resealable bag and I said Your a bit harsh on yourself, but when you open it in here...
Dave - Its got Jonnies and Lollies in it.
Chris - Well yeah, if your a dirty stop out like what we are, you get a condom, hey you dont be silly, put that condom on your willy! it says. Safe sex and all that. Then you have easy teeth cleaning no toothbrush no water, its like a handy tooth clean thing
Dave - You just rub it around your gob, dont you?
Chris - Like a wipe, tic tacs.
Dave - eh Is that what El Tel needs tonight?
Chris - No thats tactics, and also... a lollipop. Now I dont get this but still maybe someone (gruff voice) Oi, havent got a lollipop have you, Yes I do actually, in my dirty stop out survival kit and also theres some facts about sex, drugs and drink. Right.
Dave - Mmmmmmmm.
Chris - Alcohol is the most popular drug in the UK. The current guidelines for alcohol recommend 2-3 units a day for women and 3-4 units a day for men. A unit is a half pint of standard beer. Youre kidding me, arent you. jesus, no more than 4 units a day. Thats 2 pints, I have that for breakfast, mind you I am a chronic alcohol abuser.
Will - Your just the man to help spearhead this campaign.
Chris - Arent I Just. Hullo, problem with drink, Ill sort you out, Ive got loads at home, come round mine.
Will - Cant believe that Dave Ten Pints wrote the campaign.
Dave - Shut Up.
Chris - Drink can stay in the blood for 12 hours so you could still be over the drink drive limit the morning after. Have you noticed ive put on my airport voice.
Dave - Thats cos you care.
Chris - Thank you, long term heavy drinking can cause many health risks from liver disease to depression and also memory loss.
Dave - Pardon.
Chris - Long term heavy drinking can cause many health risks from liver disease to depression and also memory loss.
Dave - Pardon?
Chris - Long Term Memory drinking an cause many health risks from liver disease to depression and also memory loss.
Dave - Long Term Memory Drinking?
Chris - Heavy drinking i said... shut up... heres a card on sex. Its not true that everyones having sex. People lie, dont ever feel pressured into donig something you dont want to do.
Dave - Once again, just the man to spearhead the campaign
Chris - No this is Wills, I get the drink one and Will gets the sex one. Maybe you dont want to have sex... not a problem, just go out with Wills girlfriend.
Will - Stop Now!
Chris - Shes got a 24 hour a day headache
Will - Stop It!
Chris - Oh would you like some Aspirin love, Oh I dont have a headache, Oh good, any chance of a ..... If you want to find out more go to the phone and dial 0800 110 100 and they will send you one. Ah put all this back in here (rustling noise) think ill keep that... lollipop.
Will - What... You sick man!
Chris - What, Im gonna eat the lollipop, Im not gonna put it up my (trail)

Daves Inevitable Tedious Link
K Klass Rhythm Is A Mystery - Mysteries are mysterious - Mysterious Ways was a hit for U2 - U2 Beautiful Day is the theme tune to the Premiership - Yesterday Sunderland beat Liverpool in the Premiership and that left Liverpool with no points and 5th in the table unlike Everton who are 4th in the table - 4th place would be the aspirations of Leeds Utd but even if they win tonight which is highly unlikely they will languish in 16th place - A 16th is a measurement of weight - Weight is measured on scales - Scales are found on fish - Fish can breathe underwater as could Patrick Duffy - Duffy rhymes with Buffy as in the Vampire Slayer who sucks blood - Blood is made to make black pudding - Pudding rhymes with Gooding as in James Gooding who went out with Kylie Minogue - Kylie has great teeth unlike Shane McGowan who has rotten gums - Which links us to Pogues and Fairytale Of New York

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