The chrismoyles.net TV & Radio Show Reviews
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By Chris
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1. LMC vs U2 - Take Me To The Clouds Above 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Britney Spears - Toxic, 3. Feeder - Forget About Tomorrow, 4. N*E*R*D - She Wants To Move, 5. BUZZ OFF - Reef - Set The Record Straight, 6. Pink feat William Orbit - Feel Good Time 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. The Rasmus - In The Shadows, 8. Mis-Teeq - Scandalous, 9. Usher feat Ludacris - Yeah, 10. The Strokes - Reptilia 8:00 NEWSBEAT 11. Moloko - Sing It Back, 12. Outkast - The Way You Move, 13. Pete Doherty & Wolfman - For Lovers, 14. Joss Stone - Fell In Love With A Boy 8:30 NEWSBEAT 15. Boogie Pimps - Somebody To Love, 16. Sugababes - In The Middle, 17. Snow Patrol - Run, 18. Robbie Williams - Lazy Days (Tedious Link), 19. The Room - Tales Of New Love (One Music Unsigned List), 20. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 21. Deepest Blue - Give It Away, 22. The Darkness - Love Is Only A Feeling 9:30 NEWSBEAT 23. The Black Eyed Peas - Hey Mama, 24. Deepest Blue - Give It Away (AGAIN), 25. Red Hot Chili Peppers - Give It Away

Chris began the week in typically uncontroversial fashion by slating Sex In The City, anyone who watches it, Pharrell Williams and pretty much all Americans within the first 20 minutes of the show today...good mornin. Chris started by talking about Friday’s last ever episode of Sex In The City. He didn’t actually see the last show but was forced by his girlfriend Sophie to sit through most of the documentary about it beforehand. Chris said it was just full of women and gay men. He called the four main characters in the show slutty tarts and said there should be a UK version featuring English women who fake headaches, go to bed early and therefore allow their blokes to go down the pub for a pint. Chris said that was a story he could relate to, unlike all the people who say that they can really relate to the characters in Sex In The City. He received the usual text backlash, which seemed to be mainly saying he didn’t understand the show at all...
Chris - No I don’t understand about Sex In The City at all because I’m not a single dog with nothing better to do on a Friday night
(plays jingle)

When he returned after the next two records, Chris had calmed down a bit and admitted he’d never really watched it in truth. He said it was a show men couldn’t watch with their girlfriends as it was like seeing a sex scene with your parents when you were younger. Aled didn’t see the last show but has taped it, so Chris didn’t give away the ending. He did say he was listening to Colin and Edith on Saturday (as was Dave) when Edith announced to a caller she’d watched the big finale at home with the girls, some pizza and some champagne (really relating to her audience).
Dave - Pepperami and bubbles
Chris (laughs) - Were you round at Michael Jackson’s were you?
Dave - No no no

Talking of relating to your audience, Chris bought the first series of 24 on DVD at the weekend. He said he’d watch it in the afternoons and then talk all about it on the air in the mornings...only three years behind everybody else. Chris said that he likes to discover things in his own time. There’s some band he thinks are going to be massive soon - they're called Coldplay or summat. Chris played N*E*R*D and called Pharrell Williams an arse. Rachel likes him though and said he was so cool he had probably remixed and knew the English lyrics to the pre-Buzz Off bed (O Mio Babbino Caro by Maria Callas). Dave said he wouldn’t because he can’t even speak English very well. This led into a big discussion on American words and pronunciations - e.g aluminium, vacations, sidewalks, trunks and hoods. Chris told the crazy yankee doodles to shut up and Dave said “yeah, we invented language....and football!!”. Chris went back to Leeds over the weekend for Mother’s Day. It was also his mate Martin’s birthday on Saturday so they went out for a few drinks.
Chris - We had a nice night, it was lovely. He kept falling over...
Dom - Why? Did he have balance problems?
(pause and a few sniggers)
Dom - Oh I see, cos for he was drinking ale...mm hmm
(Dave, Rache and Jules laugh)

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Chris played a trail for Five Live featuring Chappers voicing the liner. Chris listened to him on 6-0-6 last night and said he’d noticed that Chappers seems to laugh at every caller. I’ve also noticed that he somehow seems to develop a huge stutter everytime he’s on that show as well. Mind you at least he knows what he’s talking about. Spoony on the other hand....well, the less said there the better.
Chris - Talking of football, big game tonight - Leeds vs Man City
Dave - Prediction?
Chris - Eh?
Dave - Score prediction?
Chris (pause) - That’s right, 7:58 now
(hits Strokes vocal)

Because the game is so huge, Chris was considering travelling up to see it and therefore getting just an hours sleep before the show tomorrow. Dave is going out tonight so can’t join Chris in the boozer, although he said the place he’s going does have Sky. Chris joked he was part of the new Leeds consortium that took over on Friday. Chris said he’s not too confident in the new chairman already, cos he wears his glasses on a chain around his neck.

MOYLES BY THE MERSEY:
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Following on from the show’s very successful trip to Newcastle in January and their (less successful) trip to Southampton in February, this Friday’s show will be coming live from another one of the UK’s biggest cities...Liverpool. It is regular now that the show comes live from a different UK destination on the last Friday of each month, with Chris deciding upon this month’s venue by using “the roulette wheel of chance” in the studio (which went on for bloody ages). Liverpool was the totally random winner, of course nothing to do with the fact that it’s just a short drive from there over to the capital of England Manchester for Mark and Lard’s last show later that afternoon...hmmm. Anyway it should be a good laugh in Liverpool on Friday, with the show coming live from the BBC Radio Merseyside studios (if they are back on the air yet - someone cut a cable in the city centre that took them off the air today). The team will take the train up to Liverpool after Thursday’s show and were looking for places to go out later that night via the text (it’s Rachel’s birthday next Monday so she wants to start her birthday drinks early). Despite living just outside Manc, I do actually know a fair few drinking establishments in Liverpool that Chris could go to. I have to confess this isn’t because I’ve actually been in them, it’s because of a DJ I used to listen to on the Liverpool radio station Radio City. He’s a guy from Belfast called Joe Ferguson who left his afternoon show under acrimonious circumstances last summer (best thing bar Moyles I’ve ever heard on the radio - he was on Liquid News a few times last year as well). Living Room, Mosquito and the News bar are apparently fairly good, although Chris should watch out for the Hollyoaks people who hang out there. Texts came in recommending Garlands to him and Dave but I’ve just a tiny feeling that may not be up their street. Dave and Dom will of course fit in nicely in Liverpool as Everton and Liverpool fans. Aled will be out and about in his truck and looking to cause havoc in the city. My guesses will be that he’ll wake some students up at the Uni and visit Goodison Park and Anfield. I also reckon Chris will have him trying to cause trouble at the Radio City Tower. If you don’t know then the station I was mentioning earlier (Radio City 96.7) broadcasts live from a tower 450 feet in the air at St Johns Beacon in Liverpool - see pics here and here. The Chris Moyles Approved Workplace scheme will also be launching on Friday - visit here for more details.

CHART RECAP WITH WES:>>> Butters was back at quarter to eight to run down the weekend chart, coming live and direct from his bed (he’d been under the duvet just a few seconds before he went on air). Wes thought he’d lost his phone yet again on Friday, only to discover he’d left it in his car.
Chris - Did you get your underfloor heating sorted out by the way?
Wes - Oh yeah, thanks very much for that. After talking about it on the nations biggest breakfast show the guy....
Chris (interrupting) - What? You were on Wogan’s show talking about it as well?

Wes talked about how ruuubish the psychic was on Scott Mills’ show yesterday. She predicted that Usher would chart at number 46 when he in fact went straight in at number one. Dave said the physic obviously hadn’t had access to the midweeks. Chris and the whole breakfast crew sent their congratulations to Nickelback, who (with a record Radio 1 have been championing) went straight into the Top 40 with a bullet yesterday...at erm, number 39. Chris said he actually likes that song and said that Nickelback were very much the Spin Doctors of the day. Dave said that was being a bit harsh on the Spin Doctors. Chris analysed Chad Kroeger’s singing technique and likened it to when you’re straining on the bog. Dominic later informed Chris that he was just tucking into his peanut butter sandwiches at this point. With Usher being number one, Rachel plugged tonight’s “Usher Special” with Dave Pearce, where you can win the chance to see him in concert and meet him. Rachel also shocked Chris by revealing there will be an interview with Usher on the show tonight...
Chris - You don’t say Rache. I mean if you had an interview with Kylie, what a crap Usher special that would be
This week is another One Music Week on Radio 1. The five most voted for demos sent in to the One Music segment of R1 Online are now on the daytime playlist and each demo will be played on the show this week at ten past nine. Today it was the turn of The Room, a four piece band from Cannock (Ste, John, Rob & another John). Dave thought it was fairly good track - it’s called Tales Of New Love. You can hear it here (note:- you’ll need Real One Player) and you can also find out more about all the unsigned artists on the playlist by visiting here.
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(The One Music Unsigned Playlist - The Room)

Give It Away by Deepest Blue may well be one of the better records on the “normal” playlist at the moment but there was still no need for Chris to play it twice within the space of 4 songs this morning. Dave said it’s on Radio 1’s new Super A-List - maximum rotation for the music. The second time Chris played it was after the 9:30 news in a pre-built segway, where it was supposed to be the Red Hot Chili Peppers and (ironically) Give It Away. Chris was obviously out having a fag and when he came back he kicked off - blaming the music department and saying someone upstairs was going to get their arse well and truly kicked later. Dave did his usual line of saying it made the show look “small time and amateurish”. The clocks are going forwards this Saturday, which isn’t good news for any of the team. Just when they are getting used to a bit of light in the morning it’ll be darker again (granted just for a few weeks) and then when they are all tucking into bed at night it’ll still be light. Chris called it bloody rubbish and wanted it sorting out. He told Rachel to go and have a word with Tony Blair about it. Buzz Off at 7:20 made it all the way through today. It was Set The Record Straight by Reef (August 2000), which was of course the song that Chris and Dave performed with them at the Newquay One Big Belly a few years back (glory days). Rachel was first to buzz in on 2:23, the listeners next on 3:29 and Dave was third about a second before the end on 3:52. There was surprisingly no buzz at all from Aled.

RADIO 1’S SPOT THE DIFFERENCE:>>> There has been a wide range of appalling features on the show courtesy of Dave over the last couple of weeks....so the last thing we needed was Rachel jumping on the ideas bandwagon. Her new feature involved Chris playing out a clip twice, with subtle differences the second time round compared to first. It was a clip from EastEnders featuring Janine and Paul. Sarah, a giggly art student from Daventry came on the line to correctly identify the sound effects added to the second clip as that of a drill, an owl and a dog. Chris said she’d win some rubbishy DVD that none of the team wanted. Both Sarah and Rachel liked the feature. Chris compared it to the King Of Tickets. I’d go further still....it’s on a par with The Radio 1 Mystery Afternoon Sound. No more please.

CARPARK CATCHPHRASE:
CHRIS a sales rep from Northampton 2
RIO (female) a 19 year old support worker from Shrewsbury 1

Daves Tedious Link
Bizarre Inc Playing With Knives - Knives make up one third of the cutlery group along with forks and spoons - Spoons the DJ was the winner of the first ever Radio 1 Race last week, unlike Aled who sadly came last - Last rhymes with Cast - Cast are fronted by the charismatic John Power - Power is what you need in your house in order to turn your lights on - On is the opposite of off - Off! is a brand of mosquito repellent - Mosquito repellent is used to protect humans from unwanted bites - Bytes spelt with a “y” are synomonous with the world of computers - Computers need screens, as do pubs that specialise in showing live football - Football is the sport of kings - Kings wear crowns - Crowns are worn on the head - A head rhymes with bed - and bed is where you might spend the afternoon if you were enjoying a lazy day - Which links us predictably to Robbie Williams and Lazy Days

Sat and today are up

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