chrismoyles.net
- Fri Apr 30, 2004 3:15 pm
#241918
1. Outkast - Hey Ya 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Britney Spears - Toxic, 3. Keane - Everybody’s Changing, 4. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 5. Evanescence - Bring Me To Life 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. D12 - My Band, 7. Jakatta - American Dream, 8. Chingy feat J Weav - One Call Away 8:00 NEWSBEAT 9. Mr Reds Vs DJ Scribble - Everybody Come On, 10. Pink - Last To Know, 11. Kelis - Trick Me, 12. Snow Patrol - Run 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Natasha Bedingfield - Single, 14. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 15. Avril Lavigne - Complicated, 16. The Clash - London Calling (Tedious Link), 17. Dido - Don’t Leave Home, 18. The Ordinary Boys - Week In Week Out 9:30 NEWSBEAT 19. The Streets - Fit But You Know It, 20. David Guetta feat Chris Willis - Just A Little More Love, 21. Sugababes - Round Round (plus snippets of The Basics and Tim Arnold)
Unless you’ve been living on a different planet for the past week you will no doubt know that this morning’s show was coming live from The Queen Vic, on the set of EastEnders at Elstree Studios in London. Chris, Dave, Aled and Rachel were joined by executive producer Joe Graham and old producer Greyhead in the Vic, although Dom and Jules had to stay back at base for technical news reasons. Chris was situated underneath the dartboard, Dave was underneath the jukebox and Aled, Rachel, Joe and Will were propped up by the bar. Chris said Will had no money though...for a change. I will make no bones about the fact that I hate EastEnders (and most soaps really), so therefore the majority of today’s show meant nothing to me, although I did find parts of it quite entertaining. However, Chris did act like an overexcited kid for a lot of the morning and the constant sucking up to guests got very irritating after a bit. I never normally criticise Chris for this as the playlist is so bad, but there was also too many long links and a notable lack of music this morning. In fact there was only 21 songs in 185 minutes. If you consider that most songs last around 4 minutes then that means that almost two thirds of the show today was made up of talking. Dave said coming live from The Vic was the weirdest thing they have ever done on the show and throughout the morning him and Chris kept repeating how surreal it was to be there. Dom and Jules said they were sick they couldn’t be there too and decided to make up for this fact by asking question after question about The Vic after each news and sport bulletin. Jules asked Dave what tunes were available on the jukebox. It was a bit of a bizarre mix - Meatloaf, Aqua, Bryan Adams and Wet Wet Wet. Dave said it was also £1.50 a play, surely a bit steep for any of those artists. Dave ran down the drinks available - Vodka was £1.35 and a Pint Of Lager £2.40 (London prices y’see). Chris promised to steal Dom a beermat and Jules some of the very generic crisps piled up underneath the stairs in the Vic (their brand was simply “Crisps”). Jules asked if there was a number on the pay phone in the Caf. Chris sent Aled to check and he said no - there was just a business card for a Mr Darren Handle...must be made up. Aled ran to see if the phone in the launderette had a phone number and he said it did - although it was an old 081 one. Chris said the continuity on this show leaves a lot to be desired. Will tried to play on the fruit machine but it was rubbish and wouldn’t accept Chris’s pound coin. Moyles told him to try harder and called it a con. A few minutes later Chris again had a go at Will...for taking his 150th photograph of the morning (this before 7:30 BTW). Dave said Will was like a Japanese tourist, although the grey haired one claimed they were for the website and most definitely not for his personal collection. Greyhead also informed Chris that Jean in the EastEnders canteen had retuned from Jono Coleman on Heart to the show today, blissfully unaware that Aled had announced this exact same news less than five minutes previous. Will complained that he now looked small time and amateurish. Aled told Chris that he wasn’t allowed to visit any of the sets prior to the show hitting the air. He thought he should do them on the air cos it’d be (cue stereotypical Welsh accent) “Faantastic”. Hmm. How wrong can you be. After half nine Chris even filled the time by experimenting how long it takes to run from set to set (Rachel had her stopwatch to hand). If you’re really that sad that you actually care then it’s 6 seconds from The Vic to The Caf and 8 seconds from The Caf to The Slaters living room. Chris also played the TV clip from the end of last night’s EastEnders on BBC One, which invited people to join Chris for “a right old * knees up” this morning. Northern Irish Danny was back at Yalding House driving the show and Chris made him turn his mic on to say “all right geezer”. There was only a couple of minor technical hitches in the show to be fair, with the main one being when Chris played a complete Chris Moyles Show jingle from his jingle singers in the middle of Run by Snow Patrol. He didn’t mention it in the following link so I presumed he didn’t know. When the cast members were arriving left, right and centre later in the pub, Chris decided to make Dom and Jules just that little bit more jealous that they couldn’t be there.
Chris - Dominic and Juliette you really should be here
Dom - I know we really want to be th...
Chris (interrupting) - But you’re not, byeeee
(plays jingle as Natalie Cassidy laughs)
SHANE RICHIE ON THE SHOW....AT LAST:
Chris and Dave have been talking about getting him on the show for a good few years now, but Shane (landlord of The Vic don’t forget) finally was a guest this morning, in bright and early before half seven nonetheless. The last time Shane was on the show was at one of the One Big Belly’s in Weymouth in 2000 (Chris said he doubled the audience). Shane gave Moyles a guided tour of the set as Chris donned the radio mic and went off on a ten minute on air stroll. They visited the kitchen, the Caf and Kat and Alfie’s bedroom amongst other destinations. Chris asked if it would be possible for him to be an extra just sitting in the Caf while they film a scene there later this morning. Shane said he’d see what he could do. Chris said it felt weird seeing all the sets with walls missing etc (he told Shane Alfie’s TV had been nicked). This particular on air tour I found dull but when they chatted to Shane back by the bar it was a lot better. Shane gave Chris tips on how to get the fruit machine to work properly. He also allowed him a sip of Walford’s very own brand of beer (Chris said it definitely was real). Shane said unfortunately though the optics are actually water.
Chris - Right I’m gonna stay behind the bar while we play another record. Let’s play Chingy and then we’ll be back with...
Shane (interrupts) - What are you gonna play?
Chris - Chingy
Shane - Is this your new music policy going on? You’re the new music bender remember
(Chris laughs)
Shane wasn’t giving anything away about the storylines as he said his first line today is simply “hello sweetheart” (Chris went “cut that’s a wrap, lunchtime” in the background - very funny). Shane was one of the few actors Chris didn’t try and suck up to this morning, in fact he was doing the opposite and trying to get dirt on him from the other guests who came in. Shane demanded that Chris gave him a tour of his radio desk at ten o’clock in return for him showing him around the various sets. Chris said he’d let Shane play with his jingle machine if he really wanted to. When Chris mentioned his mate Rob DJ from Leeds, Shane did a funny Leeds accent impersonating Chris. Chris told him to “leave it out” (in his authentic * accent). Chris said Rob DJ is nicknamed Alfie Moon for the outlandish shirts he wears. Shane said there is actually now a shop in Manchester purely dedicated to selling Alfie Moon shirts. Shane asked Chris how he was getting on with Sara Cox these days and asked if she was still bitter. This made Dave laugh. Chris did his usual “We get on great” thing but from an outsiders point of view it certainly looks like they don’t. Chris said he’d tell Shane how well they get on - “It’s my baby”. (Dave did the duff duffers at this point).
Shane - I’m still trying to wangle you in the caf today
Chris - I’m sorry to hear that. You’re very welcoming aren’t you?
(Shane, Chris, Dave, Hannah and Ricky laugh)
Chris talked briefly about Shane’s times as kids TV presenter on Run The Risk and actually was given an “I’m in Shane’s posse” badge by Mr Richie himself. Surely the most thankful thing to come out of the interview though was the fact that we didn’t even have to endure one second of Shane’s Children In Need single “I’m Your Man”. Chris thanked Shane for coming in, collecting various cast members and showing him round in general.
Chris - I don’t know what we’d have done without you...
(Shane laughs)
Chris - ...perhaps had some fun
NATALIE, JAMES, HANNAH AND RICKY:>>>>
Natalie Cassidy (Sonia Jackson) and James Alexandrou (Martin Fowler) were the next to pop in between 8 and 8:30. Sonia and Chris traded insults (her make up, his hair) but she did compliment him on the posh jacket he was wearing this morning. James was less enthusiastic and up for it as Natalie, but he blamed his lethargic manner. He then remembered he was on Radio 1 and changed that statement to “I’m knackered”. Chris joked that he had a bit of an attitude on him and Natalie said he’s very arrogant both in real life and on screen. From the clues they gave I think James’s character Martin will propose to Natalie’s (Sonia) next Friday at 8pm. Consummate professional James hadn’t “a scooby” what his first line was today. Nat couldn’t remember hers either, but said it’s usually day to day things she forgets, not her lines. Chris said she needed to get her own Aled to do all her bills etc for her. She said she couldn’t as she’s not on Chris’s money. He said she had a good point there.
Natalie - Have you got a good hairdresser Chris?
(collective oooh and laughter)
Chris - Right if you’re gonna be like that (tries to get up out of his seat but the microphone wouldn’t reach)...I’ll just open a six pack of whoop ass on you, you know that
Hannah Waterman (Laura) and Ricky Groves (Garry) were next up. They are a real life couple by the way - they’ve been together for four years. Hannah’s in the paper today cos her character Laura is killed off tonight by that cow (pronounced “caaaah”) Janine. Chris played the sound effects of their fight the other night. Dave said it sounded like a fight between two female tennis players (cos of the grunting). Chris said it sounded more like him putting on his jeans every morning. Hannah hasn’t been working at EastEnders for six weeks now, so had come in this morning especially for Chris. She seemed genuinely nice and found some of the stuff he said very funny. Chris asked Hannah what was next for her...
Chris - What are you gonna do?
Laura - I’m going off to do The Vagina Monologues
Chris (pause) - Good morning everybody if you’re just tucking into your coco pops (everyone laughs)
Dave - Good morning Ofcom
Chris - Shane’s gonna wangle me in the caf later don’t forget
(Shane laughs loudly in the background)
Like with James and Sonia, Chris played listener intros and questions to Hannah and Ricky (that were all a bit crap to be honest). Ricky was asked how to get into acting by Mike from Cumbria, and Hannah was asked what colour socks she was wearing by Simon, a trucker from Leicester. She chose him over Alan from Lewisham who works in sales.
Hannah - Oh yeah give me the trucker
Chris - Good mornin'
(Hannah laughs)
BIG MO, JUNE, BROOKE, RONNY AND RAY:>>>>
Big Mo (Laila Morse) was next on after nine. That part of the show was dull. The only things worth a mention from that interview are that Mo gets in at half six every morning and tidies the green room and reception. Chris tried to get a bit of dirt from her on Shane, who was referring to Chris by this point as “My chubby DJ friend from up north”. The legend that is June Brown (Dot Cotton) was on next, having come in especially early to see Chris. She said he should have been very grateful as she’d only got back from a holiday in Spain late last night. She’d been to see her friend Polly Perkins, who’s son Chris Arnold has a new record called Walking Through Walls coming out on the 31st of May. She said it was a lot nicer than that racket he’d just played (The Ordinary Boys) and she had brought in a copy for him to play. Chris said he might play it later. She said there was no “might” about it - he would. Chris said the bosses would have his guts for garters if he played it, but she said never mind them, she’d have his guts for garters if he didn’t. Chris managed to fit a minute in before the pips at ten. June said she doesn’t take compliments too well when Chris tried to praise her for creating the legend that is Dot. She said it was all an accident and said she gets surprised when she finds out people actually like her. Chris asked her about Shane. She said he’s a nice chap “but it’s not his fault he’s popular”. The ever modest Moyles said he had the same problem. June said she doesn’t.
(June Brown, Ray Panthaki and Brooke *good mornin* Kinsella)
The last group of guests were Brooke Kinsella (Kelly), Ray Panthaki (Ronny) and Joe Swash (Mickey Miller). Brooke looks hot in the website pic and said she’d come in especially to see Chris as she has no filming to do today. Chris said he was bloody glad she had wearing that tight top. On the contrary Ray had already finished his filming for the day. He’d just done one dancing scene but wouldn’t repeat it in front of everyone. Joe had a go at Chris for comparing his very squeaky (and funny) voice to that of Ashley from Corrie on a past brekky show. Unless it was in the week that I missed, I can’t remember Chris doing anything of the sort (he denied it too). Anyway, whoever did make that comparison was bang on.
Chris - Joe, do you know your first line this morning?
Joe (pause then speaks in his squeaky voice) - Yeah
Chris (pause) - Great, any chance we could hear it?
(everyone laughs)
Joe - Morning Mo
Chris asked the cheese and Back To The Future questions to these three but it soon became clear they were the wrong people to ask. At one point Ray tried to claim to Brooke that he knew his Back To The Future Films and almost said “I know my shit”. Ray asked Chris if he’d play a song by a band called The Basics that he had on him. He predicts they’ll be bigger than Coldplay (he’s mates with the lead singer) and Chris played a couple of minutes of the track. It sounded good. The Basics are unsigned at this moment but are apparently in talks with a few labels. You know where you heard them first anyway.
NO BUZZ OFF OR CARPARK CATCHPHRASE TODAY
Both will return when Chris gets back from his holiday on Tuesday 18th May.
Daves Tedious Link
(**later than advertised, with fake pips and at the second time of asking as Dave stumbled first time around**)
Badly Drawn Boy Silent Sigh - Badly Drawn Boy was responsible for the soundtrack to the film About A Boy, which starred Hugh Grant - Hugh Grant was once famously caught with a Hollywood hooker and had his cover blown - Blown is how you’d feel if you’d just walked along a windy promenade during a strong gale - Gayle first name Michelle used to be in EastEnders and is now married to Mark Bright - Mark Bright used to play for Sheffield Wednesday - Wednesday is the only day of the week to begin with the letter “W” - The letter W in alphabetical order is number 23 - Number 23 Albert Square is the address of The Slaters - The Slaters are currently putting up Zoe’s mate Kelly, who is played by an actress called Brooke - If you combine the words “Kelly” and “Brook” you get Kelly Brook, who goes out with that fella from the Maltesers adverts - Maltesers are round, as are melons - Melons are sold on the market in Walford - Walford is a fictional borough of London - and when you think of London in the context of great records from yesteryear, you think of London Calling by The Clash - Which links us to this morning’s special Queen Vic Tedious Link track, The Clash and London Calling
WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Monday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Bacon baguette row, technical trouble and bumpkin debate on Monday, Second link and last link on Tuesday, Chix Win Da Tix and Kill Bill link on Wednesday, New Music Bender link and Colin and Edith trail analysis on Thursday, plus Shane and Hannah interviews today.
(Don’t forget Chris and the team are taking a well earned break from Breakfast for a couple of weeks. Wes is filling in on Bank Holiday Monday, then it’s Scott Mills on till Monday 17th May. Chris (and my reviews) are then back on Tuesday 18th May. By the way, all Scott's shows will replace Chris's on Listen Again during this period.).
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?p=142967#142967">> Please rate or comment on this show or review by clicking here <</A>
I will put up a brief summary of stuff from Scott Mills' two weeks on Breakfast on Monday 17th May...alright treacle?
1. Outkast - Hey Ya 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Britney Spears - Toxic, 3. Keane - Everybody’s Changing, 4. 50 Cent - If I Can’t, 5. Evanescence - Bring Me To Life 7:30 NEWSBEAT 6. D12 - My Band, 7. Jakatta - American Dream, 8. Chingy feat J Weav - One Call Away 8:00 NEWSBEAT 9. Mr Reds Vs DJ Scribble - Everybody Come On, 10. Pink - Last To Know, 11. Kelis - Trick Me, 12. Snow Patrol - Run 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Natasha Bedingfield - Single, 14. The Darkness - I Believe In A Thing Called Love, 15. Avril Lavigne - Complicated, 16. The Clash - London Calling (Tedious Link), 17. Dido - Don’t Leave Home, 18. The Ordinary Boys - Week In Week Out 9:30 NEWSBEAT 19. The Streets - Fit But You Know It, 20. David Guetta feat Chris Willis - Just A Little More Love, 21. Sugababes - Round Round (plus snippets of The Basics and Tim Arnold)
Unless you’ve been living on a different planet for the past week you will no doubt know that this morning’s show was coming live from The Queen Vic, on the set of EastEnders at Elstree Studios in London. Chris, Dave, Aled and Rachel were joined by executive producer Joe Graham and old producer Greyhead in the Vic, although Dom and Jules had to stay back at base for technical news reasons. Chris was situated underneath the dartboard, Dave was underneath the jukebox and Aled, Rachel, Joe and Will were propped up by the bar. Chris said Will had no money though...for a change. I will make no bones about the fact that I hate EastEnders (and most soaps really), so therefore the majority of today’s show meant nothing to me, although I did find parts of it quite entertaining. However, Chris did act like an overexcited kid for a lot of the morning and the constant sucking up to guests got very irritating after a bit. I never normally criticise Chris for this as the playlist is so bad, but there was also too many long links and a notable lack of music this morning. In fact there was only 21 songs in 185 minutes. If you consider that most songs last around 4 minutes then that means that almost two thirds of the show today was made up of talking. Dave said coming live from The Vic was the weirdest thing they have ever done on the show and throughout the morning him and Chris kept repeating how surreal it was to be there. Dom and Jules said they were sick they couldn’t be there too and decided to make up for this fact by asking question after question about The Vic after each news and sport bulletin. Jules asked Dave what tunes were available on the jukebox. It was a bit of a bizarre mix - Meatloaf, Aqua, Bryan Adams and Wet Wet Wet. Dave said it was also £1.50 a play, surely a bit steep for any of those artists. Dave ran down the drinks available - Vodka was £1.35 and a Pint Of Lager £2.40 (London prices y’see). Chris promised to steal Dom a beermat and Jules some of the very generic crisps piled up underneath the stairs in the Vic (their brand was simply “Crisps”). Jules asked if there was a number on the pay phone in the Caf. Chris sent Aled to check and he said no - there was just a business card for a Mr Darren Handle...must be made up. Aled ran to see if the phone in the launderette had a phone number and he said it did - although it was an old 081 one. Chris said the continuity on this show leaves a lot to be desired. Will tried to play on the fruit machine but it was rubbish and wouldn’t accept Chris’s pound coin. Moyles told him to try harder and called it a con. A few minutes later Chris again had a go at Will...for taking his 150th photograph of the morning (this before 7:30 BTW). Dave said Will was like a Japanese tourist, although the grey haired one claimed they were for the website and most definitely not for his personal collection. Greyhead also informed Chris that Jean in the EastEnders canteen had retuned from Jono Coleman on Heart to the show today, blissfully unaware that Aled had announced this exact same news less than five minutes previous. Will complained that he now looked small time and amateurish. Aled told Chris that he wasn’t allowed to visit any of the sets prior to the show hitting the air. He thought he should do them on the air cos it’d be (cue stereotypical Welsh accent) “Faantastic”. Hmm. How wrong can you be. After half nine Chris even filled the time by experimenting how long it takes to run from set to set (Rachel had her stopwatch to hand). If you’re really that sad that you actually care then it’s 6 seconds from The Vic to The Caf and 8 seconds from The Caf to The Slaters living room. Chris also played the TV clip from the end of last night’s EastEnders on BBC One, which invited people to join Chris for “a right old * knees up” this morning. Northern Irish Danny was back at Yalding House driving the show and Chris made him turn his mic on to say “all right geezer”. There was only a couple of minor technical hitches in the show to be fair, with the main one being when Chris played a complete Chris Moyles Show jingle from his jingle singers in the middle of Run by Snow Patrol. He didn’t mention it in the following link so I presumed he didn’t know. When the cast members were arriving left, right and centre later in the pub, Chris decided to make Dom and Jules just that little bit more jealous that they couldn’t be there.
Chris - Dominic and Juliette you really should be here
Dom - I know we really want to be th...
Chris (interrupting) - But you’re not, byeeee
(plays jingle as Natalie Cassidy laughs)
SHANE RICHIE ON THE SHOW....AT LAST:
Chris and Dave have been talking about getting him on the show for a good few years now, but Shane (landlord of The Vic don’t forget) finally was a guest this morning, in bright and early before half seven nonetheless. The last time Shane was on the show was at one of the One Big Belly’s in Weymouth in 2000 (Chris said he doubled the audience). Shane gave Moyles a guided tour of the set as Chris donned the radio mic and went off on a ten minute on air stroll. They visited the kitchen, the Caf and Kat and Alfie’s bedroom amongst other destinations. Chris asked if it would be possible for him to be an extra just sitting in the Caf while they film a scene there later this morning. Shane said he’d see what he could do. Chris said it felt weird seeing all the sets with walls missing etc (he told Shane Alfie’s TV had been nicked). This particular on air tour I found dull but when they chatted to Shane back by the bar it was a lot better. Shane gave Chris tips on how to get the fruit machine to work properly. He also allowed him a sip of Walford’s very own brand of beer (Chris said it definitely was real). Shane said unfortunately though the optics are actually water.
Chris - Right I’m gonna stay behind the bar while we play another record. Let’s play Chingy and then we’ll be back with...
Shane (interrupts) - What are you gonna play?
Chris - Chingy
Shane - Is this your new music policy going on? You’re the new music bender remember
(Chris laughs)
Shane wasn’t giving anything away about the storylines as he said his first line today is simply “hello sweetheart” (Chris went “cut that’s a wrap, lunchtime” in the background - very funny). Shane was one of the few actors Chris didn’t try and suck up to this morning, in fact he was doing the opposite and trying to get dirt on him from the other guests who came in. Shane demanded that Chris gave him a tour of his radio desk at ten o’clock in return for him showing him around the various sets. Chris said he’d let Shane play with his jingle machine if he really wanted to. When Chris mentioned his mate Rob DJ from Leeds, Shane did a funny Leeds accent impersonating Chris. Chris told him to “leave it out” (in his authentic * accent). Chris said Rob DJ is nicknamed Alfie Moon for the outlandish shirts he wears. Shane said there is actually now a shop in Manchester purely dedicated to selling Alfie Moon shirts. Shane asked Chris how he was getting on with Sara Cox these days and asked if she was still bitter. This made Dave laugh. Chris did his usual “We get on great” thing but from an outsiders point of view it certainly looks like they don’t. Chris said he’d tell Shane how well they get on - “It’s my baby”. (Dave did the duff duffers at this point).
Shane - I’m still trying to wangle you in the caf today
Chris - I’m sorry to hear that. You’re very welcoming aren’t you?
(Shane, Chris, Dave, Hannah and Ricky laugh)
Chris talked briefly about Shane’s times as kids TV presenter on Run The Risk and actually was given an “I’m in Shane’s posse” badge by Mr Richie himself. Surely the most thankful thing to come out of the interview though was the fact that we didn’t even have to endure one second of Shane’s Children In Need single “I’m Your Man”. Chris thanked Shane for coming in, collecting various cast members and showing him round in general.
Chris - I don’t know what we’d have done without you...
(Shane laughs)
Chris - ...perhaps had some fun
NATALIE, JAMES, HANNAH AND RICKY:>>>>
Natalie Cassidy (Sonia Jackson) and James Alexandrou (Martin Fowler) were the next to pop in between 8 and 8:30. Sonia and Chris traded insults (her make up, his hair) but she did compliment him on the posh jacket he was wearing this morning. James was less enthusiastic and up for it as Natalie, but he blamed his lethargic manner. He then remembered he was on Radio 1 and changed that statement to “I’m knackered”. Chris joked that he had a bit of an attitude on him and Natalie said he’s very arrogant both in real life and on screen. From the clues they gave I think James’s character Martin will propose to Natalie’s (Sonia) next Friday at 8pm. Consummate professional James hadn’t “a scooby” what his first line was today. Nat couldn’t remember hers either, but said it’s usually day to day things she forgets, not her lines. Chris said she needed to get her own Aled to do all her bills etc for her. She said she couldn’t as she’s not on Chris’s money. He said she had a good point there.
Natalie - Have you got a good hairdresser Chris?
(collective oooh and laughter)
Chris - Right if you’re gonna be like that (tries to get up out of his seat but the microphone wouldn’t reach)...I’ll just open a six pack of whoop ass on you, you know that
Hannah Waterman (Laura) and Ricky Groves (Garry) were next up. They are a real life couple by the way - they’ve been together for four years. Hannah’s in the paper today cos her character Laura is killed off tonight by that cow (pronounced “caaaah”) Janine. Chris played the sound effects of their fight the other night. Dave said it sounded like a fight between two female tennis players (cos of the grunting). Chris said it sounded more like him putting on his jeans every morning. Hannah hasn’t been working at EastEnders for six weeks now, so had come in this morning especially for Chris. She seemed genuinely nice and found some of the stuff he said very funny. Chris asked Hannah what was next for her...
Chris - What are you gonna do?
Laura - I’m going off to do The Vagina Monologues
Chris (pause) - Good morning everybody if you’re just tucking into your coco pops (everyone laughs)
Dave - Good morning Ofcom
Chris - Shane’s gonna wangle me in the caf later don’t forget
(Shane laughs loudly in the background)
Like with James and Sonia, Chris played listener intros and questions to Hannah and Ricky (that were all a bit crap to be honest). Ricky was asked how to get into acting by Mike from Cumbria, and Hannah was asked what colour socks she was wearing by Simon, a trucker from Leicester. She chose him over Alan from Lewisham who works in sales.
Hannah - Oh yeah give me the trucker
Chris - Good mornin'
(Hannah laughs)
BIG MO, JUNE, BROOKE, RONNY AND RAY:>>>>
Big Mo (Laila Morse) was next on after nine. That part of the show was dull. The only things worth a mention from that interview are that Mo gets in at half six every morning and tidies the green room and reception. Chris tried to get a bit of dirt from her on Shane, who was referring to Chris by this point as “My chubby DJ friend from up north”. The legend that is June Brown (Dot Cotton) was on next, having come in especially early to see Chris. She said he should have been very grateful as she’d only got back from a holiday in Spain late last night. She’d been to see her friend Polly Perkins, who’s son Chris Arnold has a new record called Walking Through Walls coming out on the 31st of May. She said it was a lot nicer than that racket he’d just played (The Ordinary Boys) and she had brought in a copy for him to play. Chris said he might play it later. She said there was no “might” about it - he would. Chris said the bosses would have his guts for garters if he played it, but she said never mind them, she’d have his guts for garters if he didn’t. Chris managed to fit a minute in before the pips at ten. June said she doesn’t take compliments too well when Chris tried to praise her for creating the legend that is Dot. She said it was all an accident and said she gets surprised when she finds out people actually like her. Chris asked her about Shane. She said he’s a nice chap “but it’s not his fault he’s popular”. The ever modest Moyles said he had the same problem. June said she doesn’t.
(June Brown, Ray Panthaki and Brooke *good mornin* Kinsella)
The last group of guests were Brooke Kinsella (Kelly), Ray Panthaki (Ronny) and Joe Swash (Mickey Miller). Brooke looks hot in the website pic and said she’d come in especially to see Chris as she has no filming to do today. Chris said he was bloody glad she had wearing that tight top. On the contrary Ray had already finished his filming for the day. He’d just done one dancing scene but wouldn’t repeat it in front of everyone. Joe had a go at Chris for comparing his very squeaky (and funny) voice to that of Ashley from Corrie on a past brekky show. Unless it was in the week that I missed, I can’t remember Chris doing anything of the sort (he denied it too). Anyway, whoever did make that comparison was bang on.
Chris - Joe, do you know your first line this morning?
Joe (pause then speaks in his squeaky voice) - Yeah
Chris (pause) - Great, any chance we could hear it?
(everyone laughs)
Joe - Morning Mo
Chris asked the cheese and Back To The Future questions to these three but it soon became clear they were the wrong people to ask. At one point Ray tried to claim to Brooke that he knew his Back To The Future Films and almost said “I know my shit”. Ray asked Chris if he’d play a song by a band called The Basics that he had on him. He predicts they’ll be bigger than Coldplay (he’s mates with the lead singer) and Chris played a couple of minutes of the track. It sounded good. The Basics are unsigned at this moment but are apparently in talks with a few labels. You know where you heard them first anyway.
NO BUZZ OFF OR CARPARK CATCHPHRASE TODAY
Both will return when Chris gets back from his holiday on Tuesday 18th May.
Daves Tedious Link
(**later than advertised, with fake pips and at the second time of asking as Dave stumbled first time around**)
Badly Drawn Boy Silent Sigh - Badly Drawn Boy was responsible for the soundtrack to the film About A Boy, which starred Hugh Grant - Hugh Grant was once famously caught with a Hollywood hooker and had his cover blown - Blown is how you’d feel if you’d just walked along a windy promenade during a strong gale - Gayle first name Michelle used to be in EastEnders and is now married to Mark Bright - Mark Bright used to play for Sheffield Wednesday - Wednesday is the only day of the week to begin with the letter “W” - The letter W in alphabetical order is number 23 - Number 23 Albert Square is the address of The Slaters - The Slaters are currently putting up Zoe’s mate Kelly, who is played by an actress called Brooke - If you combine the words “Kelly” and “Brook” you get Kelly Brook, who goes out with that fella from the Maltesers adverts - Maltesers are round, as are melons - Melons are sold on the market in Walford - Walford is a fictional borough of London - and when you think of London in the context of great records from yesteryear, you think of London Calling by The Clash - Which links us to this morning’s special Queen Vic Tedious Link track, The Clash and London Calling
WEEK HIGHLIGHTS:
SHOW OF THE WEEK: Monday
MOMENTS OF THE WEEK: Bacon baguette row, technical trouble and bumpkin debate on Monday, Second link and last link on Tuesday, Chix Win Da Tix and Kill Bill link on Wednesday, New Music Bender link and Colin and Edith trail analysis on Thursday, plus Shane and Hannah interviews today.
(Don’t forget Chris and the team are taking a well earned break from Breakfast for a couple of weeks. Wes is filling in on Bank Holiday Monday, then it’s Scott Mills on till Monday 17th May. Chris (and my reviews) are then back on Tuesday 18th May. By the way, all Scott's shows will replace Chris's on Listen Again during this period.).
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I will put up a brief summary of stuff from Scott Mills' two weeks on Breakfast on Monday 17th May...alright treacle?
