chrismoyles.net
- Mon Jun 14, 2004 11:14 am
#241944
1. Blink 182 - Down 7:00 NEWSBEAT 2. Elvis Vs JXL - A Little Less Conversation, 3. The 411 feat Ghostface Killah - On My Knees, 4. Faithless - Mass Destruction, 5. BUZZ OFF - Dodgy - Staying Out For The Summer, 6. Snow Patrol - Chocolate 7:30 NEWSBEAT 7. Fatboy Slim - Right Here Right Now, 8. Kelis - Trick Me, 9. Mario Winans feat Enya & P. Diddy - I Don't Wanna Know 8:00 NEWSBEAT 10. Britney Spears - Toxic, 11. Scissor Sisters - Laura, 12. Oasis - What's The Story (Morning Glory) 8:30 NEWSBEAT 13. Basement Jaxx feat Lisa Kekaula - Good Luck, 14. Outkast - Roses, 15. Red Hot Chili Peppers - By The Way, 16. Black Grape - Reverend Black Grape (Tedious Link), 17. Keane - Everybody's Changing, 18. Beastie Boys - Ch-Check It Out 9:30 NEWSBEAT 19. Jet - Are You Gonna Be My Girl, 20. Mr Reds Vs DJ Scribble - Everybody Come On, 21. Oasis - Up In The Sky
Gutted. That’s the only word to describe how I’m feeling right now. How they won that game is beyond me...and I suspect the rest of England this morning. Chris and Dave were just as down and still in a little bit of shock, but it was their job to lift the nations spirits this morning so they couldn’t let the gloom last for long. Chris wanted to complete the following sentence regarding the French - “If it wasn’t for the English you’d be...”. However, he thought it was best to check with the BBC’s slightly racist department before going any further. Ah sod it, I’d have said it. Chris began rather predictably with a goal montage of Alan Green’s Five Live commentary, over the BBC’s Euro 2004 music (Scene From The Balcony by Craig Armstrong). It had the echo turned up loud and was kind of like re living a bad nightmare. What wasn’t predicted however, was that Chris would have a new jingle singing about last night’s game. I think they must have had three prepared for a draw, England loss and win, but the company who makes them (Music4) suggest on their website that they are recorded overnight by Chris’s jingle singers for the following morning’s show:
NEW JINGLE:>>>
Good morning fans of England, we’re live from our villa,
We watched the football yesterday, it hardly was a thriller,
Got beaten by the French, but it’s only the beginning,
On Thursday we’ll beat Switzerland and England will be singing,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, Live from Portugal, National Radio One
Despite slagging Chris for knocking England recently, I must praise him today. He was right in most of what he said about us playing brilliantly, defending superbly and being rightly proud of ourselves. Dave was a little less upbeat however, saying that there was significant room for improvement on Thursday. I dunno if he was watching the same match as everyone else...I mean we were playing France for f*cks sake. We couldn’t have done much better. Like most of the English press though, it seems Dave expected us to play like Brazil against them. Chris took a picture of the scoreboard after 90 minutes when it read France 0 England 1...then just three minutes later it read 2-1 the other way round..*sighs*. Dom and the returning Juliette (back from her booze cruise) couldn’t bring any positivity to proceedings from London either. Dom watched the match last night with his wife and parents in law, while Jules saw it in the kitchen with her flatmate and a can of Carlsberg...
Chris (sounding shocked) - Wow you didn’t go to the pub?
Jules - I’m detoxing
Dave (laughs) - What with a can of lager?
Despite Dom saying that there was nothing for England to worry about in the Croatia - Switzerland match yesterday, he was still finding it difficult to get over last night’s defeat. He said it was hard but he still wanted to get behind the boys *insert own punchline here*. Chris tried to rally his troops by making Dom and Jules scream “Right!!!” at him after he told them that they were now over last night and looking forward to England beating the Swiss in Coimbra on Thursday. The fact that it took them half a dozen goes to get enough passion into it and for them to say it together kind of tells it’s own story really. Chris even re arranged the music schedule to lift the mood. The original plan was to play Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis after 8 o’clock if England lost, but he said we had to be positive so stuck on Morning Glory instead. I didn’t particularly care cos both are great records. However, Stop Crying Your Heart Out would have felt more appropriate. Buzz Off was also an uplifting summer choice by Moyles today, if a bit self indulgent. It was Staying Out For The Summer by Dodgy (number 19 in June 1995). Everyone left it well alone so it was played in full. Dave said he’d forgotten how great that record was. Aled thought it was the Rembrandts. Again, that tells it’s own story.
Mark “Chappers” Chapman joined proceedings after half 8 to talk about the game last night. Before we get onto that, we found out today that his real name is actually Andrew Mark Chapman, but he’s always been called by his middle name. Dave’s middle name is Lloyd (as we know) and Chris also revealed that his mum nearly named him Rory Moyles, which obviously would have got him beaten up as a kid. No offence to any young Rory’s reading out there obviously. Chappers didn’t blame Heskey, Gerrard or James for that nightmare three minutes of injury time, instead he pointed an accusing finger at Sven’s substitutions, which he thought handed France the initiative. He praised the defence and Ian Walker’s fancy tricks (which he did on the pitch after the final whistle), but said that a large portion of credit has to go to Zidane. Chris and Mark both agreed the free kick was absolute genius. Dave insisted he did see it, but admittedly not from his original seat. He saw it from the top of the aisle as he’d nipped off for a quick pee and hotdog but couldn’t get back down to his seat in time. With morale so low and a national sense of deflation in England today, Chappers praised Chris’s motivational Moyles therapy (i.e “Right!!”). Chris said it wasn’t just him, security bear Paul had tried to get everyone jogging through the streets of Lisbon on their way back to the car last night. He saw it as a way of lifting the spirits, but Chris said he looked like some sort of mad army platoon when he did it. Moyles also moaned about the farce that was trying to get into the stadium in Lisbon last night. It’s right by a motorway and Dave said at one point there must have been 10,000 people walking up the hard shoulder and then crossing over the motorway, just to try and take a shortcut to the ground. He said it was so dangerous. Chris also revealed that after the team did a 45 minute circular journey to try and get into the stadium, they arrived back where they started to find the barriers lifted and police welcoming them in, when just an hour ago they’d been turning them away. On the positive side of things from last night, Chris noted very little fake burberry amongst the England supporters...which is always a bonus.
POSH AND MOYLES:
Not two words often associated together but on this occasion they are. Yep, Chris had a Guess Who from last night’s football (hmm...I wonder who that could be *strokes chin*). Dom and Jules made an almighty meal of guessing that yes it was Victoria Beckham, with Dom’s excuse for this being that he had Jane McDonald from The Cruise in his mind for some reason. Best not to go any further down that line methinks. Chris said that Vicky was sat with all the other wags (wives and girlfriend’s) nearby, and spotted him as he went to go to his seat just before kick off.
Chris - I don’t know how she spotted me. (pause). Well at the time I was stood in the aisle going VICTORIA!! VICTORIA!! VICTORIA!!...(Dom and Jules laugh) (Chris in his normal voice)..Hiya you alright? You saw me?
(Dom and Jules laugh)
Chris (pretending he was talking to Victoria) - Yeah ok fine. No it’s great to see..(pause) Chris?...Right, no it’s erm good to see you (pause)...Moyles? (Dom laughs)...yeah right (pause)..I’m a DJ?...interviewed you? Ok good yeah yeah yeah
(Dom and Jules laugh)
As they chatted briefly, all the pepperami started taking pics in their direction. Chris said he knew he was with Chappers, but his and Dave’s new show has only been going a few weeks and he thought the press frenzy was a bit extreme. Then the penny dropped. Chris said the photographers were actually so busy snapping Posh that they missed the two teams coming out of the tunnel. Jules asked Chris if he’d talked to Vicky about those Real Madrid tickets that she promised him back in January. He said no, but said he might talk to her about it when they meet up for a very cosmopolitan and sophisticated Lisbon lunch later...or maybe not. Dom told Chris about the pics of Vicky in today’s papers, showing her in her backless Dolce & Gabbana designer dress with her fancy handbag. Chris said that they weren’t hers though - she just borrowed them from Aled before the game.
(Aled and Chris in the villa)
COMEDY DAVE’S EASY PORTUGUESEY - DAY 2:>>>>
Despite having been in Portugal for less than four days, Dave feels that he is becoming more and more fluent in Portuguese as every day goes by, thanks to his little phrase book. The only problem is that he hasn’t really put any of his new knowledge to practical use yet. Take lunch the other day for example, when Vitty did the international hand signal for same again (circling the beer and pointing) rather than using the opportunity to show off his new found knowledge. Today Easy Portuguesey was all based on the subject of camping and campsites, again not brilliant if you want to put it to practical use. Dave went through each phrase phonetically, rolling his R’s and getting laughs from the assembled crowd at his pronunciation. Today’s phrases in English then:
- Is there a campsite near here?
- Do you have space for a tent?
- Are there cooking facilities on site?
- Where are the showers?
Chris said he was now fully confident if the villa crumbled and the team needed to go to a campsite to stay. He also informed Dave that tomorrows phrases need to be more for the day to day traveller, and not on the subject of Sailing Clubs as he revealed he had planned. Dominic asked if Chris or Dave had made contact with Mafalda yet at her hotel in Lisbon. Dave didn’t actually know that she lived in Portugal and sounded surprised, which means he has surely been missing the point of the whole Portuguese phrase feature this past month or so.
CHART RECAP WITH WES:>>>>
Young Buttersby is in the Scott Mills camp when it comes to football, a self confessed non-footy fan. He didn’t even watch the game last night, despite making it clear that it wasn’t like he didn’t want them to win. In fact he said he was right behind the boys (so to speak). Actually thinking about it, maybe this was Scott Mills putting on his best Wes impression. Chris quite rightly told Wes that it was his duty to watch the games as an Englishman, and he rather unwillingly agreed to watching the England - Switzerland game on Thursday. New entries in the chart this week include Linkin Park (in with a bullet at number 39) and Mark Owen, in with his new single Makin' Out at a slightly more respectable number 30. Mario Winans stays at the top spot for week number 2, with the highest new entry coming in at number 2 - Come On England by 4-4-2. Basically it’s a novelty anthem to the tune of Come On Eileen, recorded on a low budget (you can tell) and then adopted by Talksport as their official Euro 2004 Get behind England tune. Chris revealed that a few months back him and Dave had been asked to get involved in this particular project. They were asked to sing on it and write half the lyrics too. Chris said Radio 1 had been understandably delighted with the news (great publicity), that was until they found out that the tune wasn’t a charity record though. I wouldn’t have thought that would have mattered with Chris and Dave both being freelance, but Radio 1 management banned the pair of them from taking part as “Chris and Dave’s drinking fund” wasn’t seen as an acceptable charity.
Chris - So apparently if you’re a Radio 1 DJ you’re not allowed to get involved in an England record unless it’s for charity. Anyway congratulations to DJ Spoony and his version of The Farm’s Altogether Now...
(Dave and Wes laugh)
Other stuff today from Moyles today included him playing a remix of that 411 record featuring a hilarious rap from the aforementioned Spoony, him mistakenly announcing that Wimbledon starts today when it is in fact a week today, and him thanking Rachel for the lovely pasta salad she made to go with Saturday night’s barbecue in the villa.
NOEL GALLAGHER ON THE SHOW:
As a huge Oasis fan I may be slightly biased, but every time Noel is on the show I always think he’s brilliant. He was live from the villa between 9 and 10 o’clock this morning - without a doubt the best guest Chris has had on the breakfast show so far this year (off the top of my head anyway). Noel was feeling and sounding very well considering the time of day and last night’s result. He did go to the game, but by the sounds of it not with Chris and co. Noel said that he too did have problems getting into the stadium, but only because his coach was surrounded by a load of pie eating skin heads (nicely put I thought). Noel also talked a hell of a lot of sense regarding the match, much more so than Dave and to a lesser extent Chris. He thought we should put it all into perspective and remember that we were playing France (i.e the best team in the tournament) last night after all. He said it was a shame England lost cos we probably won’t play as well as that again in the whole competition. Noel thought that the result was simply a bit of a knock to team morale and added that we’re only one point down on realistically the best we could have hoped for so far. He said the penalty was a great save by Barthez and not a bad miss by Beckham, he said Stevie Gerrard will never play another pass like that again in his entire career (i.e the backpass), and also said that David James will never make such a rash decision ever again in his entire career. He was of the opinion that if he’d gone with his hands and not his feet, a penalty wouldn’t have been given. It was against Thierry Henry who’s probably the quickest player in the world so I’m still not 100 per cent sure about that one. Noel said the atmosphere was breathtaking in the stadium and he fully expects us to beat Switzerland and Croatia to progress to the quarter finals. Frankly if we don’t beat those two then we don’t deserve to get to the quarter finals, let’s be honest. He also praised old Lesley King (I’ve done it on purpose) and understood Eriksson’s thinking in bringing on Heskey to hold the ball up, although Dave (as a toffee) argued that Rooney should have stayed on and Nicky Butt come on as a sub if Sven wanted to hold what he had. Chris joined in the conversation for a second to say that Heskey must have some pictures of Sven and Ulrika, otherwise there’s no way he’d be in the squad. Noel also singled out Zidane for special praise because he is the best player in the world for those exact reasons - he can score brilliant free kicks and put away penalties in the pressure situations. Chris and Noel both said that they saw absolutely no trouble last night regarding England fans, except for this irritating drunk sat in front of them who they saw later by the side of the road, nearly getting run over by a coach. What annoyed Noel most outside the ground was the fact that every other person seemed to be saying “to be fair he is the best player in the world” or “to be fair they were the better team”. Noel said there was no need to be fair. Dave also wondered why nearly every other England fan there last night was a brummie. Noel said they must have let them out of the asylum for the day or something. Cue a quick change of subject from Chris...
Noel admitted that he didn’t know Chris had been moved to Breakfast, saying that he agreed to come on the show when he saw Chris at the Travis gig, mistakenly thinking that it would be at 4 o’clock in the afternoon (like when he was on the show during Euro 2000). Noel said he therefore hasn’t heard any of the morning shows so far, and added that the only person he gets up to listen to at that time of the day is his daughter.
Noel - Are you any good?
Chris - Yeah, brilliant
Noel - Have you come on?
Chris (pause) - Nah but I’m very excited to be here
(Noel, Dave and the assembled villa posse laugh)
Noel is flying back home tonight as the band have rehearsals tomorrow for Glastonbury, which they’ll play a week on Friday @ 11pm (on the pyramid stage). It’ll be their third Glasto appearance and first performance there for 9 years. Noel said their first Glastonbury set in 1994 was widely regarded as legendary, although their second there a year later was admittedly a bit flat. With the new album still a good six or seven months away, Noel said the band (now with Ringo Starr’s son Zac on drums) were not originally planning to play any new material. However, they were 30 mins under when they timed their last rehearsal so Noel said they’ll now be playing two new songs - with him filling the spare time by rambling etc. Chris said he can’t wait to see him and Liam splitting the audience down the middle and seeing which side can shout the loudest (a very funny image indeed). Chris asked Noel how Liam was. This may shock you, but apparently he’s in a bad mood today. Reason being, he’s lost his luggage on a flight back from his holidays in Spain. Noel said no doubt he had brought back half the Spanish garment industry, and said now there’d be one very confused Spanish baggage handler with a big furry parker and pair of sunglasses on. Noel compared what Liam wears to David James' decision making - both good if they have no time to think about it. Chris said he’d love to see Liam in goal, and added that everyone would probably be too scared of him to shoot. Noel said that he’d probably just go and get his minder to tackle them (he did a very funny impression of what this would sound like). Noel was enjoying the Yorkshire teabags he’d found in the villa, and said he always has two in every cuppa. Chris said they were given to him for the trip by his girlfriend Sophie, as well as an aloha ash tray (note the impressive alliteration there...thanks).
MORE NOEL STUFF:>>>
Other stuff included Noel slagging off Keane and calling them rubbish, him telling Chris and Dave never to admit they played Wembley Arena and the Kentish Town Forum with the Barenaked Ladies ever again, and him revealing that he’s collaborated on Ian Brown’s new album, which is due out in September. He also slagged off Ryan Adams for releasing his cover of Wonderwall *ker-ching*, despite saying that he actually likes the version. Chris and Dave told him they didn’t like it, and said they preferred the Mike Flowers Pops version cos it took the piss. Noel came up with a genius idea for a German cover of Wonderwall called Berlin Wall (y’see what he did there). Chris told Noel that everyone was listening to Definitely Maybe in the car on the way back from last night’s match. Noel obviously agreed with Chris that it’s a great album with not one duff track on it. That sounds really arrogant but of course he’s absolutely right. Noel revealed that the new 10 track album will be out at the start of next year and it’s working title so far is “Songs For My Snicket”. Chris and Dave came up with a couple of album title suggestions for him if he wanted them - “Deckchairs and Science” and “Curtains and Clocks”. Both are awful and Noel told Chris so. He also told a funny story from last night about some Portuguese fella who came over and asked him when the new album would be out. He said that he was a big fan blah, blah, blah. When Noel told him it would be out around the start of the new year, the bloke replied...”Will it be with the band or with the Gorillaz?” (cue much hilarity).
Noel - To which I replied, “well there’ll be a monkey singing the songs”
Chris & Dave - Wahey!!!
Noel said he would have decked him one if the police hadn’t been nearby.
On the 6th of September a 10 year Definitely Maybe anniversary documentary is coming out on DVD, and Chris has his promotional copy already (although he’s yet to watch it). Noel said the funniest part of the DVD is the Liam interview. That’s because he was in an awful mood that day and looked like someone has just knifed his children. Noel told Chris that the doc was done by some random guy called Dick Carruthers...
Chris - No but Dick’s been doing you guys for years...if you pardon the expression
(Dave and Noel laugh)
Chris asked Noel to pick a track from Definitely Maybe that they could end the show with. He obviously went for Married With Children, the one with all the swearing in. Rachel said no he’d have to pick another, but exec Rhys overruled her and said he could play it. Just as Chris was about to, Noel changed his mind to request Up In The Sky (much to Rachel’s delight). Noel also requested Ch-Check It Out by The Beastie Boys earlier in the show for his tall, Scottish missus (Sara MacDonald). Chris talked about when him and Dave met her at their recent gig in Watford, and asked Noel if she’d be listening this morning.
Noel - Yeah she will. She’s a massive, massive, massive fan
Dave - ...of the Beastie Boys
Chris - Shut up Dave
(Noel laughs)
NO CONTINENTAL CARPARK CATCHPHRASE TODAY
With Noel on, Continental Carpark Catchphrase was obviously cancelled this morning. It should be back tomorrow after half nine though, with (as ever) Roy Walker and the one and only Mr Fish.
Daves Tedious Link
N-Trance Set You Free - N-Trance were also the band responsible for the 1995 cover of Stayin' Alive, which featured the vocal talents of Ricardo Da Force - If you remove the “Da Force” bit of Ricardo Da Force you’re left with Ricardo, the Brazilian heshe who achieved fame on The Salon and looks a bit like Louise Redknapp on steroids - If you add an A to the front of steroids you get asteroids, which can be a hazard to those navigating through space - Space shares many of the same letters as the word “spice” - The plural of spice is spices, which are kept in a rack - “Rack” is a word associated with lamb, as is shank - Shank rhymes with Hank, as in Hank Marvin who is “in The Shadows” - In The Shadows was a recent hit for The Rasmus, who I think are from Finland - Finland gets very cold and is an ideal habitat for reindeers - The word “reindeers” begins with the letter R, as does Romania, raccoon and Rhyl in North Wales - and it was in Rhyl many years ago that we first met Shaun Ryder, former leader of The Happy Mondays and the brief but brilliant Black Grape - Which links us to Black Grape and Reverend Black Grape
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7988">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Monday June 14th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
Gutted. That’s the only word to describe how I’m feeling right now. How they won that game is beyond me...and I suspect the rest of England this morning. Chris and Dave were just as down and still in a little bit of shock, but it was their job to lift the nations spirits this morning so they couldn’t let the gloom last for long. Chris wanted to complete the following sentence regarding the French - “If it wasn’t for the English you’d be...”. However, he thought it was best to check with the BBC’s slightly racist department before going any further. Ah sod it, I’d have said it. Chris began rather predictably with a goal montage of Alan Green’s Five Live commentary, over the BBC’s Euro 2004 music (Scene From The Balcony by Craig Armstrong). It had the echo turned up loud and was kind of like re living a bad nightmare. What wasn’t predicted however, was that Chris would have a new jingle singing about last night’s game. I think they must have had three prepared for a draw, England loss and win, but the company who makes them (Music4) suggest on their website that they are recorded overnight by Chris’s jingle singers for the following morning’s show:
NEW JINGLE:>>>
Good morning fans of England, we’re live from our villa,
We watched the football yesterday, it hardly was a thriller,
Got beaten by the French, but it’s only the beginning,
On Thursday we’ll beat Switzerland and England will be singing,
(Fans chant “England! England!”)
The Chris Moyles Show, Live from Portugal, National Radio One
Despite slagging Chris for knocking England recently, I must praise him today. He was right in most of what he said about us playing brilliantly, defending superbly and being rightly proud of ourselves. Dave was a little less upbeat however, saying that there was significant room for improvement on Thursday. I dunno if he was watching the same match as everyone else...I mean we were playing France for f*cks sake. We couldn’t have done much better. Like most of the English press though, it seems Dave expected us to play like Brazil against them. Chris took a picture of the scoreboard after 90 minutes when it read France 0 England 1...then just three minutes later it read 2-1 the other way round..*sighs*. Dom and the returning Juliette (back from her booze cruise) couldn’t bring any positivity to proceedings from London either. Dom watched the match last night with his wife and parents in law, while Jules saw it in the kitchen with her flatmate and a can of Carlsberg...
Chris (sounding shocked) - Wow you didn’t go to the pub?
Jules - I’m detoxing
Dave (laughs) - What with a can of lager?
Despite Dom saying that there was nothing for England to worry about in the Croatia - Switzerland match yesterday, he was still finding it difficult to get over last night’s defeat. He said it was hard but he still wanted to get behind the boys *insert own punchline here*. Chris tried to rally his troops by making Dom and Jules scream “Right!!!” at him after he told them that they were now over last night and looking forward to England beating the Swiss in Coimbra on Thursday. The fact that it took them half a dozen goes to get enough passion into it and for them to say it together kind of tells it’s own story really. Chris even re arranged the music schedule to lift the mood. The original plan was to play Stop Crying Your Heart Out by Oasis after 8 o’clock if England lost, but he said we had to be positive so stuck on Morning Glory instead. I didn’t particularly care cos both are great records. However, Stop Crying Your Heart Out would have felt more appropriate. Buzz Off was also an uplifting summer choice by Moyles today, if a bit self indulgent. It was Staying Out For The Summer by Dodgy (number 19 in June 1995). Everyone left it well alone so it was played in full. Dave said he’d forgotten how great that record was. Aled thought it was the Rembrandts. Again, that tells it’s own story.
Mark “Chappers” Chapman joined proceedings after half 8 to talk about the game last night. Before we get onto that, we found out today that his real name is actually Andrew Mark Chapman, but he’s always been called by his middle name. Dave’s middle name is Lloyd (as we know) and Chris also revealed that his mum nearly named him Rory Moyles, which obviously would have got him beaten up as a kid. No offence to any young Rory’s reading out there obviously. Chappers didn’t blame Heskey, Gerrard or James for that nightmare three minutes of injury time, instead he pointed an accusing finger at Sven’s substitutions, which he thought handed France the initiative. He praised the defence and Ian Walker’s fancy tricks (which he did on the pitch after the final whistle), but said that a large portion of credit has to go to Zidane. Chris and Mark both agreed the free kick was absolute genius. Dave insisted he did see it, but admittedly not from his original seat. He saw it from the top of the aisle as he’d nipped off for a quick pee and hotdog but couldn’t get back down to his seat in time. With morale so low and a national sense of deflation in England today, Chappers praised Chris’s motivational Moyles therapy (i.e “Right!!”). Chris said it wasn’t just him, security bear Paul had tried to get everyone jogging through the streets of Lisbon on their way back to the car last night. He saw it as a way of lifting the spirits, but Chris said he looked like some sort of mad army platoon when he did it. Moyles also moaned about the farce that was trying to get into the stadium in Lisbon last night. It’s right by a motorway and Dave said at one point there must have been 10,000 people walking up the hard shoulder and then crossing over the motorway, just to try and take a shortcut to the ground. He said it was so dangerous. Chris also revealed that after the team did a 45 minute circular journey to try and get into the stadium, they arrived back where they started to find the barriers lifted and police welcoming them in, when just an hour ago they’d been turning them away. On the positive side of things from last night, Chris noted very little fake burberry amongst the England supporters...which is always a bonus.
POSH AND MOYLES:
Not two words often associated together but on this occasion they are. Yep, Chris had a Guess Who from last night’s football (hmm...I wonder who that could be *strokes chin*). Dom and Jules made an almighty meal of guessing that yes it was Victoria Beckham, with Dom’s excuse for this being that he had Jane McDonald from The Cruise in his mind for some reason. Best not to go any further down that line methinks. Chris said that Vicky was sat with all the other wags (wives and girlfriend’s) nearby, and spotted him as he went to go to his seat just before kick off.
Chris - I don’t know how she spotted me. (pause). Well at the time I was stood in the aisle going VICTORIA!! VICTORIA!! VICTORIA!!...(Dom and Jules laugh) (Chris in his normal voice)..Hiya you alright? You saw me?
(Dom and Jules laugh)
Chris (pretending he was talking to Victoria) - Yeah ok fine. No it’s great to see..(pause) Chris?...Right, no it’s erm good to see you (pause)...Moyles? (Dom laughs)...yeah right (pause)..I’m a DJ?...interviewed you? Ok good yeah yeah yeah
(Dom and Jules laugh)
As they chatted briefly, all the pepperami started taking pics in their direction. Chris said he knew he was with Chappers, but his and Dave’s new show has only been going a few weeks and he thought the press frenzy was a bit extreme. Then the penny dropped. Chris said the photographers were actually so busy snapping Posh that they missed the two teams coming out of the tunnel. Jules asked Chris if he’d talked to Vicky about those Real Madrid tickets that she promised him back in January. He said no, but said he might talk to her about it when they meet up for a very cosmopolitan and sophisticated Lisbon lunch later...or maybe not. Dom told Chris about the pics of Vicky in today’s papers, showing her in her backless Dolce & Gabbana designer dress with her fancy handbag. Chris said that they weren’t hers though - she just borrowed them from Aled before the game.
(Aled and Chris in the villa)
COMEDY DAVE’S EASY PORTUGUESEY - DAY 2:>>>>
Despite having been in Portugal for less than four days, Dave feels that he is becoming more and more fluent in Portuguese as every day goes by, thanks to his little phrase book. The only problem is that he hasn’t really put any of his new knowledge to practical use yet. Take lunch the other day for example, when Vitty did the international hand signal for same again (circling the beer and pointing) rather than using the opportunity to show off his new found knowledge. Today Easy Portuguesey was all based on the subject of camping and campsites, again not brilliant if you want to put it to practical use. Dave went through each phrase phonetically, rolling his R’s and getting laughs from the assembled crowd at his pronunciation. Today’s phrases in English then:
- Is there a campsite near here?
- Do you have space for a tent?
- Are there cooking facilities on site?
- Where are the showers?
Chris said he was now fully confident if the villa crumbled and the team needed to go to a campsite to stay. He also informed Dave that tomorrows phrases need to be more for the day to day traveller, and not on the subject of Sailing Clubs as he revealed he had planned. Dominic asked if Chris or Dave had made contact with Mafalda yet at her hotel in Lisbon. Dave didn’t actually know that she lived in Portugal and sounded surprised, which means he has surely been missing the point of the whole Portuguese phrase feature this past month or so.
CHART RECAP WITH WES:>>>>
Young Buttersby is in the Scott Mills camp when it comes to football, a self confessed non-footy fan. He didn’t even watch the game last night, despite making it clear that it wasn’t like he didn’t want them to win. In fact he said he was right behind the boys (so to speak). Actually thinking about it, maybe this was Scott Mills putting on his best Wes impression. Chris quite rightly told Wes that it was his duty to watch the games as an Englishman, and he rather unwillingly agreed to watching the England - Switzerland game on Thursday. New entries in the chart this week include Linkin Park (in with a bullet at number 39) and Mark Owen, in with his new single Makin' Out at a slightly more respectable number 30. Mario Winans stays at the top spot for week number 2, with the highest new entry coming in at number 2 - Come On England by 4-4-2. Basically it’s a novelty anthem to the tune of Come On Eileen, recorded on a low budget (you can tell) and then adopted by Talksport as their official Euro 2004 Get behind England tune. Chris revealed that a few months back him and Dave had been asked to get involved in this particular project. They were asked to sing on it and write half the lyrics too. Chris said Radio 1 had been understandably delighted with the news (great publicity), that was until they found out that the tune wasn’t a charity record though. I wouldn’t have thought that would have mattered with Chris and Dave both being freelance, but Radio 1 management banned the pair of them from taking part as “Chris and Dave’s drinking fund” wasn’t seen as an acceptable charity.
Chris - So apparently if you’re a Radio 1 DJ you’re not allowed to get involved in an England record unless it’s for charity. Anyway congratulations to DJ Spoony and his version of The Farm’s Altogether Now...
(Dave and Wes laugh)
Other stuff today from Moyles today included him playing a remix of that 411 record featuring a hilarious rap from the aforementioned Spoony, him mistakenly announcing that Wimbledon starts today when it is in fact a week today, and him thanking Rachel for the lovely pasta salad she made to go with Saturday night’s barbecue in the villa.
NOEL GALLAGHER ON THE SHOW:
As a huge Oasis fan I may be slightly biased, but every time Noel is on the show I always think he’s brilliant. He was live from the villa between 9 and 10 o’clock this morning - without a doubt the best guest Chris has had on the breakfast show so far this year (off the top of my head anyway). Noel was feeling and sounding very well considering the time of day and last night’s result. He did go to the game, but by the sounds of it not with Chris and co. Noel said that he too did have problems getting into the stadium, but only because his coach was surrounded by a load of pie eating skin heads (nicely put I thought). Noel also talked a hell of a lot of sense regarding the match, much more so than Dave and to a lesser extent Chris. He thought we should put it all into perspective and remember that we were playing France (i.e the best team in the tournament) last night after all. He said it was a shame England lost cos we probably won’t play as well as that again in the whole competition. Noel thought that the result was simply a bit of a knock to team morale and added that we’re only one point down on realistically the best we could have hoped for so far. He said the penalty was a great save by Barthez and not a bad miss by Beckham, he said Stevie Gerrard will never play another pass like that again in his entire career (i.e the backpass), and also said that David James will never make such a rash decision ever again in his entire career. He was of the opinion that if he’d gone with his hands and not his feet, a penalty wouldn’t have been given. It was against Thierry Henry who’s probably the quickest player in the world so I’m still not 100 per cent sure about that one. Noel said the atmosphere was breathtaking in the stadium and he fully expects us to beat Switzerland and Croatia to progress to the quarter finals. Frankly if we don’t beat those two then we don’t deserve to get to the quarter finals, let’s be honest. He also praised old Lesley King (I’ve done it on purpose) and understood Eriksson’s thinking in bringing on Heskey to hold the ball up, although Dave (as a toffee) argued that Rooney should have stayed on and Nicky Butt come on as a sub if Sven wanted to hold what he had. Chris joined in the conversation for a second to say that Heskey must have some pictures of Sven and Ulrika, otherwise there’s no way he’d be in the squad. Noel also singled out Zidane for special praise because he is the best player in the world for those exact reasons - he can score brilliant free kicks and put away penalties in the pressure situations. Chris and Noel both said that they saw absolutely no trouble last night regarding England fans, except for this irritating drunk sat in front of them who they saw later by the side of the road, nearly getting run over by a coach. What annoyed Noel most outside the ground was the fact that every other person seemed to be saying “to be fair he is the best player in the world” or “to be fair they were the better team”. Noel said there was no need to be fair. Dave also wondered why nearly every other England fan there last night was a brummie. Noel said they must have let them out of the asylum for the day or something. Cue a quick change of subject from Chris...
Noel admitted that he didn’t know Chris had been moved to Breakfast, saying that he agreed to come on the show when he saw Chris at the Travis gig, mistakenly thinking that it would be at 4 o’clock in the afternoon (like when he was on the show during Euro 2000). Noel said he therefore hasn’t heard any of the morning shows so far, and added that the only person he gets up to listen to at that time of the day is his daughter.
Noel - Are you any good?
Chris - Yeah, brilliant
Noel - Have you come on?
Chris (pause) - Nah but I’m very excited to be here
(Noel, Dave and the assembled villa posse laugh)
Noel is flying back home tonight as the band have rehearsals tomorrow for Glastonbury, which they’ll play a week on Friday @ 11pm (on the pyramid stage). It’ll be their third Glasto appearance and first performance there for 9 years. Noel said their first Glastonbury set in 1994 was widely regarded as legendary, although their second there a year later was admittedly a bit flat. With the new album still a good six or seven months away, Noel said the band (now with Ringo Starr’s son Zac on drums) were not originally planning to play any new material. However, they were 30 mins under when they timed their last rehearsal so Noel said they’ll now be playing two new songs - with him filling the spare time by rambling etc. Chris said he can’t wait to see him and Liam splitting the audience down the middle and seeing which side can shout the loudest (a very funny image indeed). Chris asked Noel how Liam was. This may shock you, but apparently he’s in a bad mood today. Reason being, he’s lost his luggage on a flight back from his holidays in Spain. Noel said no doubt he had brought back half the Spanish garment industry, and said now there’d be one very confused Spanish baggage handler with a big furry parker and pair of sunglasses on. Noel compared what Liam wears to David James' decision making - both good if they have no time to think about it. Chris said he’d love to see Liam in goal, and added that everyone would probably be too scared of him to shoot. Noel said that he’d probably just go and get his minder to tackle them (he did a very funny impression of what this would sound like). Noel was enjoying the Yorkshire teabags he’d found in the villa, and said he always has two in every cuppa. Chris said they were given to him for the trip by his girlfriend Sophie, as well as an aloha ash tray (note the impressive alliteration there...thanks).
MORE NOEL STUFF:>>>
Other stuff included Noel slagging off Keane and calling them rubbish, him telling Chris and Dave never to admit they played Wembley Arena and the Kentish Town Forum with the Barenaked Ladies ever again, and him revealing that he’s collaborated on Ian Brown’s new album, which is due out in September. He also slagged off Ryan Adams for releasing his cover of Wonderwall *ker-ching*, despite saying that he actually likes the version. Chris and Dave told him they didn’t like it, and said they preferred the Mike Flowers Pops version cos it took the piss. Noel came up with a genius idea for a German cover of Wonderwall called Berlin Wall (y’see what he did there). Chris told Noel that everyone was listening to Definitely Maybe in the car on the way back from last night’s match. Noel obviously agreed with Chris that it’s a great album with not one duff track on it. That sounds really arrogant but of course he’s absolutely right. Noel revealed that the new 10 track album will be out at the start of next year and it’s working title so far is “Songs For My Snicket”. Chris and Dave came up with a couple of album title suggestions for him if he wanted them - “Deckchairs and Science” and “Curtains and Clocks”. Both are awful and Noel told Chris so. He also told a funny story from last night about some Portuguese fella who came over and asked him when the new album would be out. He said that he was a big fan blah, blah, blah. When Noel told him it would be out around the start of the new year, the bloke replied...”Will it be with the band or with the Gorillaz?” (cue much hilarity).
Noel - To which I replied, “well there’ll be a monkey singing the songs”
Chris & Dave - Wahey!!!
Noel said he would have decked him one if the police hadn’t been nearby.
On the 6th of September a 10 year Definitely Maybe anniversary documentary is coming out on DVD, and Chris has his promotional copy already (although he’s yet to watch it). Noel said the funniest part of the DVD is the Liam interview. That’s because he was in an awful mood that day and looked like someone has just knifed his children. Noel told Chris that the doc was done by some random guy called Dick Carruthers...
Chris - No but Dick’s been doing you guys for years...if you pardon the expression
(Dave and Noel laugh)
Chris asked Noel to pick a track from Definitely Maybe that they could end the show with. He obviously went for Married With Children, the one with all the swearing in. Rachel said no he’d have to pick another, but exec Rhys overruled her and said he could play it. Just as Chris was about to, Noel changed his mind to request Up In The Sky (much to Rachel’s delight). Noel also requested Ch-Check It Out by The Beastie Boys earlier in the show for his tall, Scottish missus (Sara MacDonald). Chris talked about when him and Dave met her at their recent gig in Watford, and asked Noel if she’d be listening this morning.
Noel - Yeah she will. She’s a massive, massive, massive fan
Dave - ...of the Beastie Boys
Chris - Shut up Dave
(Noel laughs)
NO CONTINENTAL CARPARK CATCHPHRASE TODAY
With Noel on, Continental Carpark Catchphrase was obviously cancelled this morning. It should be back tomorrow after half nine though, with (as ever) Roy Walker and the one and only Mr Fish.
Daves Tedious Link
N-Trance Set You Free - N-Trance were also the band responsible for the 1995 cover of Stayin' Alive, which featured the vocal talents of Ricardo Da Force - If you remove the “Da Force” bit of Ricardo Da Force you’re left with Ricardo, the Brazilian heshe who achieved fame on The Salon and looks a bit like Louise Redknapp on steroids - If you add an A to the front of steroids you get asteroids, which can be a hazard to those navigating through space - Space shares many of the same letters as the word “spice” - The plural of spice is spices, which are kept in a rack - “Rack” is a word associated with lamb, as is shank - Shank rhymes with Hank, as in Hank Marvin who is “in The Shadows” - In The Shadows was a recent hit for The Rasmus, who I think are from Finland - Finland gets very cold and is an ideal habitat for reindeers - The word “reindeers” begins with the letter R, as does Romania, raccoon and Rhyl in North Wales - and it was in Rhyl many years ago that we first met Shaun Ryder, former leader of The Happy Mondays and the brief but brilliant Black Grape - Which links us to Black Grape and Reverend Black Grape
<A HREF="http://pod-135.dolphin-server.co.uk/~chris/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7988">> Moyles Live In Portugal - Monday June 14th Show & Show Review - HAVE YOUR SAY!! <</A>
