[S4B]

depends on how turned on you are - you'd be suprised what you can accomodate if you try!

[Vivienne]

S4B!! I am shocked and appalled!!! I hear what you saying tho'... maybe some KY Jelly in future.

[foot-loose]

depends on how much slack there is as well.

[Vivienne]

see... this is more likely to be my problem foots... the lack of slack... and anyhow, how would YOU know? You're a Gay Lord.

[Vivienne]

I have come to conclusion, foots, that you are in fact a "pretend gay" Otherwise, you couldn't possibly know so much about female anatomy, tampons, etc.. to the extent you do!! So confess all.. tell the truth.

[Johnny Karate]

I'm straight and I know shit about tampons

[S4B]

Or a better man?

[Vivienne]

there just something a female shoves up her "you know what" once a month... nothing spectacular. There! Explained!! I don't like them.

[DemonHorse]

Who was going to say that?

*looks innocent and points at Gaspode*

*get handbag*



You go girlfriend!

*adjusts thong*

Well I was TRYING to look innocent... failed dismally really.

[DemonHorse]

see... this is more likely to be my problem foots... the lack of slack... and anyhow, how would YOU know? You're a Gay Lord.

Is that anything like a Time Lord?

[Vivienne]

No, it's just Footloose is clearly a pretend gay, who knows all about sex with females, how it may feel, and everything else.

[Johnny Karate]

so it's not the little bits of bread in soup?

[Vivienne]

no, idiot!! those are croutons!! What a hoot.

[Yudster]

I thought that was something to do with mountaineering.

[Vivienne]

what the hell have croutons to do with climbing mountains? What kind of mountain are you climbing? This is making me laugh so hard I have tears running down my face.

[Yudster]

Oh no, that was crampons. Sorry.

[Vivienne]

To clarify:

1. tampons are for shoving up your *
2. croutons go in soup to make it more exciting.
3. crampons are for climbing mountains.

[Vivienne]

Maybe all 3 could even be done at the same time? Just for the hell of it!

[S4B]

Shoving is not a good idea
Gently sliding is better

[Vivienne]

gently sliding in and out is genius, S4B. So is lying there doing * all.

[Yudster]

I think Viv is getting a bit tired and emotional. There'll be tears before bedtime.

[Vivienne]

I'm not emotional @ all... if anything, I'm laughing too hard.

[S4B]

so you're happy, which is an emotion hence you are emotional

[foot-loose]

see... this is more likely to be my problem foots... the lack of slack... and anyhow, how would YOU know? You're a Gay Lord.

I've heard stories. My innocence was corrupted some time ago.

there just something a female shoves up her "you know what" once a month... nothing spectacular. There! Explained!! I don't like them.

Up her what? Up her nose? Up her sleeve? Up her jumper? Where? Draw me a diagram. Joint the dots.

I dont think I would like them either!

Is that anything like a Time Lord?

Wanna to see my sonic screwdriver?

No, it's just Footloose is clearly a pretend gay, who knows all about sex with females, how it may feel, and everything else.

We had a class at school and everything!

To clarify:

1. tampons are for shoving up your *
2. croutons go in soup to make it more exciting.
3. crampons are for climbing mountains.

If you got that the wrong way round, that could get very messy! Tampons in your soup, crampons up your ...!!


PS: Viv, I know its all in good humour and i'm sure you are wetting yourself with the sheer hilarity of this thread, however a quick heads up - the majority of gay folk probably don't tend to appreciate the term "gaylords". Also, I can assure you that as much as I wish it was all a maaahhooosssivve game of lets pretend, its mostly not. Just keep an eye on that line that you're not meant to cross.

[S4B]

Foots you are so tactful! *s4b applauds*