[Walter Sobchak]

i'll see your applause and raise you a standing ovation.

nicely handled mr foot-loose.

viv, give yourself a big whack on the back of your hand, and say "I'm a bad monkey".

[MK Chris]

PS: Viv, I know its all in good humour and i'm sure you are wetting yourself with the sheer hilarity of this thread, however a quick heads up - the majority of gay folk probably don't tend to appreciate the term "gaylords". Also, I can assure you that as much as I wish it was all a maaahhooosssivve game of lets pretend, its mostly not. Just keep an eye on that line that you're not meant to cross.

This could also be termed as Viv, don't be such a * rude bint (sorry s4b).

Viv, while you think you are having a laugh, sometimes you can be incredibly rude (I'm sure without realising it). I'm certainly not one to get upset over a message board, but you did cross the line with me earlier and I bit my lip (but now I'm not because it's late and I'm slightly grouchy). The post in question was the one where you described my lovely girlfriend as a "demented squirrel". Now I really don't care what you call me, you can call me all the names under the sun. Hell I know I'm a right * sometimes. However, I'd appreciate it if you didn't make such remarks about Mrs Topher.

Thanks.

[DemonHorse]

PS: Viv, I know its all in good humour and i'm sure you are wetting yourself with the sheer hilarity of this thread, however a quick heads up - the majority of gay folk probably don't tend to appreciate the term "gaylords". Also, I can assure you that as much as I wish it was all a maaahhooosssivve game of lets pretend, its mostly not. Just keep an eye on that line that you're not meant to cross.

This could also be termed as Viv, don't be such a * rude bint (sorry s4b).

Viv, while you think you are having a laugh, sometimes you can be incredibly rude (I'm sure without realising it). I'm certainly not one to get upset over a message board, but you did cross the line with me earlier and I bit my lip (but now I'm not because it's late and I'm slightly grouchy). The post in question was the one where you described my lovely girlfriend as a "demented squirrel". Now I really don't care what you call me, you can call me all the names under the sun. Hell I know I'm a right * sometimes. However, I'd appreciate it if you didn't make such remarks about Mrs Topher.

Think about this when you start on people yourself, huh?

[MK Chris]

When have I ever made comment to people's other halves?

[DemonHorse]

You've made enough offensive comments about people on here over the years, and you need to realise that different people have different limits on what they find offensive.

and don't give me any crap about how it's different because the comment wasn't about you but about someone close to you, because it's absolutely no different in any way whatsoever.

Sure, just because YOU can take comments about yourself, doesn't mean EVERYONE can, or even should have to.

I had hoped you are intelligent enough to realise this, but obviously not.

[MK Chris]

You've made enough offensive comments about people on here over the years, and you need to realise that different people have different limits on what they find offensive.

If I make a derogatory remark about someone it's always in jest. I never pass comment on personal appearance (unless it's complimentary) and I never pass perjorative comment on people's sexual orientation, race, creed, or any such thing.

Sometimes, maybe, I overstep the mark. I apologise. However, I don't believe I've ever overstepped the mark as much as Viv did yesterday.

I did think, when I read Viv's comment, that I would be overreacting if I said something, so I bit my lip (as I said), but having read foot-loose's comment (and heard other people comment on Viv's remarks to me) I decided to say something.

and don't give me any crap about how it's different because the comment wasn't about you but about someone close to you, because it's absolutely no different in any way whatsoever.

I couldn't disagree more, I think it's entirely different.

Sure, just because YOU can take comments about yourself, doesn't mean EVERYONE can, or even should have to.

See above (about what I don't comment on).

I had hoped you are intelligent enough to realise this, but obviously not.

No comment.

[DemonHorse]

and don't give me any crap about how it's different because the comment wasn't about you but about someone close to you, because it's absolutely no different in any way whatsoever.

I couldn't disagree more, I think it's entirely different.

I would like to know exactly why it's any different?

As far as I'm concerned, an offensive comment is an offensive comment, regardless of who it's aimed at and whether they hear it or not.

If I make a derogatory remark about someone it's always in jest.

Right... which makes it OK?
What happens then if Viv's comments were in jest? or anyone else's who may have made similar comments.
So easy to use the "I was joking" defence.

I will agree to disagree on this, but I would like an explanation, as that's something no-one ever seems to provide around here (like when I asked what was so bad about Viv's posts etc, nobody could give me a good answer, therefore I must conclude if they can't give reasons that there ISN'T anything bad about those posts even though people were whining so much about them instead of simply ignoring them). The one recent occasion where somebody was banned for such bad posts, that was because the posts broke so many rules, but we don't really have any other users who do that much, not ones that last long anyways.

[catherine]

Its different because you can defend yourself. Also on here you get to know each other, so you know stuff about them to actually have a pop at them. I don't care if someone wants to slag me off but on two occasions now people have said remarks about my mum which i think is out of order. So i see where Topher is coming from if you don't know or talk to the person don't bring them into the argument, simple as.

[MK Chris]

and don't give me any crap about how it's different because the comment wasn't about you but about someone close to you, because it's absolutely no different in any way whatsoever.

I couldn't disagree more, I think it's entirely different.

I would like to know exactly why it's any different?

Because an insult to a loved one or close one is, to most people, far, far more offensive to an insult to yourself. I strongly believe that is true of anyone who is not totally self-centred.

If I make a derogatory remark about someone it's always in jest.

Right... which makes it OK?
What happens then if Viv's comments were in jest? or anyone else's who may have made similar comments.
So easy to use the "I was joking" defence.

Only if it doesn't come in the categories that I have said I find overstep the mark and therefore never comment about (which you have conveniently decided not to quote; the other thing you have rather conveniently ignored was my apology if I ever have overstepped the mark, which I probably have.)

[foot-loose]

What happens then if Viv's comments were in jest? or anyone else's who may have made similar comments.

With regards to vivs comments directed at me, I know she was only joking and I know it was all meant as fun, but there could be others reading it that don't see it like that. Also, others might not take what she was saying as a joke - I was pointing it out more for her sake than anything elses.

With regards to what she said about Missus Topher - its one thing to rip the piss outta someone on here, but its another to do it to someone else who isn't in on the joke. Thats where I think the line was that was crossed there.

As far as I'm concerned, an offensive comment is an offensive comment, regardless of who it's aimed at and whether they hear it or not.

I would disagree with you there - what one person can take seriously is just a laugh to someone else. It also depends on the relationship between the two people. I would expect (and laugh along with) a lot more slagging from my mates, who I know its all a laugh with, than I would from someone I don't know.

In a situation like we have on a forum, its not right to take the piss outta someones better half, especially if its completly unprovoked.

[DemonHorse]

In a situation like we have on a forum, its not right to take the piss outta someones better half, especially if its completly unprovoked.

yeah because no-one here has ever done anything to provoke Viv, or any other member.

I'm NOT saying Viv's in the right here, please don't mistake it for that. Nor am I ignoring any apologies (not that I'm necessarily the person that they should be made to), I'm just saying if certain members don't like posts about certain things, they should ease up on other people themselves (but at the same time, no, I'm not gonna go through every post just to find every example).

[DemonHorse]

I would disagree with you there - what one person can take seriously is just a laugh to someone else.

different people have different limits on what they find offensive

It also depends on the relationship between the two people. I would expect (and laugh along with) a lot more slagging from my mates, who I know its all a laugh with, than I would from someone I don't know.

In a situation like we have on a forum, its not right to take the piss outta someones better half, especially if its completly unprovoked.

and in the pub with close mates is a different situation from a forum, as I have been told on many occasions by various others.

[foot-loose]

Mmm, ok, the last think I wanted to do is get into an argument about this. I think we agree on most of the points, just to clarify a couple of things...

In a situation like we have on a forum, its not right to take the piss outta someones better half, especially if its completly unprovoked.

yeah because no-one here has ever done anything to provoke Viv, or any other member.

Yes they have. But its never been aimed at anyone else in her life, only at her. I have no quams with Viv, but she quite happily admits to doing things to see how others react. She provokes them, they provoke her, fine - fair doos. But surely its a different game when you go after someone that a member cares about?

I would disagree with you there - what one person can take seriously is just a laugh to someone else.

different people have different limits on what they find offensive

Yeah, but the bit I was talking about was:

As far as I'm concerned, an offensive comment is an offensive comment, regardless of who it's aimed at and whether they hear it or not.

You kinda contradict youself there - an offensive comment is an offensive comment, but it will be taked differently by different people in different circumstances?

It also depends on the relationship between the two people. I would expect (and laugh along with) a lot more slagging from my mates, who I know its all a laugh with, than I would from someone I don't know.

In a situation like we have on a forum, its not right to take the piss outta someones better half, especially if its completly unprovoked.

and in the pub with close mates is a different situation from a forum, as I have been told on many occasions by various others.

I think we are more or less agreeing with each other there?

[S4B]

In summary then

A. If you wouldn't like it done to you and yours don't do it to others and theirs
B. Don't use terms that may be considered offensive

Can we all play nicely now?

Group cyber hug a la Teletubbies.

P.S. Topher I completely forgive you for the 'B' word, I understand

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

I think its ironic that Foot-Loose lectures on crossing the line when I can think of one or two occasions that he has done this. If you are giving people stick you should expect it back. I don't think for a second Viv was attempting to abuse anyone and I doubt it would have been picked up on if it wasn't her.

[foot-loose]

I think its ironic that Foot-Loose lectures on crossing the line when I can think of one or two occasions that he has done this. If you are giving people stick you should expect it back. I don't think for a second Viv was attempting to abuse anyone and I doubt it would have been picked up on if it wasn't her.

I don't think she was trying to "abuse" anyone either, I know it was all a joke. I certainly wasn't trying to lecture anyone either. Any stick will be gladly received.

If I have crossed any lines with anyone at any point then I apologise.

[DemonHorse]

In summary then

A. If you wouldn't like it done to you and yours don't do it to others and theirs

That was my point all along.

I think its ironic that Foot-Loose lectures on crossing the line when I can think of one or two occasions that he has done this. If you are giving people stick you should expect it back. I don't think for a second Viv was attempting to abuse anyone and I doubt it would have been picked up on if it wasn't her.

Agreed (although I can't think of any real examples with Footloose)

[MK Chris]

If you are giving people stick you should expect it back.

I agree with this, if the stick is confined to you and not someone else.

I don't think for a second Viv was attempting to abuse anyone and I doubt it would have been picked up on if it wasn't her.

To be honest, I probably did the right thing in the first place not saying anything, it's what I do best anyway so I'm not totally sure why I rose to it... however, as I said, I was a bit grouchy and I would have said it whoever had said the comment (I take the point about my hair / funny faces in photos though.)

[kendra k]

this thread's annoying me a bit, but that's about it.

[Sistermoon]

this thread's annoying me a bit, but that's about it.

Agreed.

Sometimes it is better to agree to disagree....especially when it seems like everyone is "almost" agreeing anyway!

[Longview01]

this thread's annoying me a bit, but that's about it.

Agreed.

Sometimes it is better to agree to disagree....especially when it seems like everyone is "almost" agreeing anyway!

I dont agree with that!

[Yudster]

I think last Friday Viv was having a tough day at the end of a tough week, and posted a couple of things which she maybe didn't think about too closely. I don't think anyone thinks she meant to offend. I hope no-one does anyway.

[Zoot]

( I'm sure because of the current theme of this thread this post will be ignored, but still - )

As soon as I got in this morning the office loudmouth started on a string of colin McRae jokes. Admittedly I'm not great in the mornings, but I couldn't help but snap back about it being too soon, and that his 5 year old son also died in that crash.



Also - my 2 cents -
I'd like to know exactly where footy has supposedly 'crossed the line', if anyone on this board can be commended on being sensitive to peoples feelings and knowing where to stop, it's him.
Saying that, Footy's a C*nt...

[S4B]

As soon as I got in this morning the office loudmouth started on a string of colin McRae jokes. Admittedly I'm not great in the mornings, but I couldn't help but snap back about it being too soon, and that his 5 year old son also died in that crash.

I'll double your snap and add a smack in the mouth to all of them!!! You obviously work with insensitive morons Zooty

[foot-loose]

Also - my 2 cents -
I'd like to know exactly where footy has supposedly 'crossed the line', if anyone on this board can be commended on being sensitive to peoples feelings and knowing where to stop, it's him.
Saying that, Footy's a C*nt...

I asked Gaspode similar.

viewtopic.php?f=35&t=17023&p=299316&hilit=#p299316

How it reads isn't how it was meant. Still feel like a c*nt though.