[Vivienne]

sorry, tophs.... it's just I find the tracing of family history "mental". I find my current family bad enough, let alone digging up a lot of people from the past.

[foot-loose]

Dont live in the past, it's gone, it's forgotten. Don't worry about the future - it's not here yet. Live for the moment.

Drink sunscreen.

[Vivienne]

That is great advice, foots! I've more advice ... "life goes by faster than a Summer vacation" (from movie: Things To Do In Denver When You Are Dead).

[MK Chris]

sorry, tophs.... it's just I find the tracing of family history "mental". I find my current family bad enough, let alone digging up a lot of people from the past.

You don't have to dig them up to trace your family history. That would be weird.

[Console]

I've more advice ... "life goes by faster than a Summer vacation"

How is that advice? Isn't it missing a critical component?

[Vivienne]

It is advice, because it is basically advising you that life is short, thus you should take full advantage of it. You have to learn to read between lines.

[Yudster]

I was in the studio when the Buzzcock's episode with Chris Moyles was filmed. It wasn't pleasant.

I have met James Nesbitt more times than I can remember and dislike him more each time.

My brother in law cooked the meal that was served at The Bolney Inn in Sussex on Peter Andre and Jordan's first "official" (ie with papperazzi tipped off) date.

Victoria Beckham phoned me up once.

Clive Owen is a neighbour of my mum's.

Roger Moore nearly ran me over once.

Paul McKenna nearly ran me over once.

The Queen and Prince Philip's car was next to mine at traffic lights a couple of years ago. They are both very small, and the Queen is extremely and surprisingly pretty.

I sang at a funeral at my church last year where present amongst the mourners were: - Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber, Julie Andrews, Cameron Mackintosh, Tim Rice, and loads of other people I recognised but was too nervous to try to work out who they were. And yes, I had a solo. And yes, bricks are indeed very painful to sh1t.

When I took my kids to Lapland to meet Santa in December 1996, Linda Robson was on the same holiday as us with her family.

I have met Santa.

One of the most famous architects in the world is a close personal friend of mine, and he knows Charles and Camilla.

I was at school with Damon Albarn and Graham Coxon, and was Damon Albarn's first publisher.

My brother worked with Richard Harris (and hundreds of others, but Richard Harris is the most awe-inspiring of them. I think.)

The man in the shower singing "I Am What I Am" in the Radox Shower Gel advert is my brother. I now feel sorry for Richard Harris.

I should stop now, or I could be here all day.

[Vivienne]

I once met "Pat Kane" off of Hue & Cry... he hit me (by accident) with his briefcase... also, he was a bit odd, and wouldn't take his dark glasses off.

[Console]

It is advice, because it is basically advising you that life is short, thus you should take full advantage of it. You have to learn to read between lines.

Is the 'between the lines' bit that we should ruin the planet and increase global warming, so as to increase the length of summer and the summer vacation?

[Vivienne]

Are you in one of your moods today. The point is you always have to be presented with a fact, and have a total inability to make judgements over anything that is not in your face.

[Console]

Really? How's this: -

I once met "Pat Kane" off of Hue & Cry... he hit me (by accident) with his briefcase.

By 'reading between the lines' I've come to the conclusion that he had meant to hit you with his knuckledusters, but had forgotten to put his briefcase down first. Correct?

[Vivienne]

But the point is, in this case, there are no lines to read between. I was just hit, by accident, with the case.

[Console]

Should one then be reading 'between the lines' to determine when they should 'read between the lines'?

[Vivienne]

No, one just has to use one's loaf to determine when something is hidden, and when it isn't.

[Ballbag]

" "



There's a hidden message there for you Viv

[catherine]

Did someone mention global warming?

[Vivienne]

We all have to take action, and switch appliances off, use washing machines at lower temperatures, etc., etc.

[catherine]

Yes but hardly anyone does...

[MK Chris]

I know this is going to be rather crude but I'm going to say it anyway (it's no cruder than what Moyles and Dave have been debating over the last couple of days, which by the way, had me in stitches). I read an interview with someone (can't remember who but it was a reasonably famous woman) a while back, who said that you should only use one sheet of toilet paper when wiping your arse. I don't know what small amounts of shit she produces, but that's just not possible, unless you wish to go around with a dirty arse all day.

[Vivienne]

I use at least 20 sheets.

[Johnny Karate]

What are we classing as a sheet here?

[MK Chris]

I took a sheet to be one square.

I'm with Moyles (not literally), folding beforehand all the way.

[Console]

Well, it's presumably a single square of toilet paper; the real question is whether it's single or double ply, though.

[MK Chris]

Double ply, most definitely. Can you get single ply?

[Console]

I don't know actually, I would assume that you could. You could always split the double ply in half.