[foot-loose]

Firstly, I know I complained about 'Chrimbo' the other day - but it rhymed. I'm a sell out.

Anyhoo...

Me and Charlalalala were talking last night on MSN about Christmas innuendos (ask her, it was her that asked me!). These are the ones that we came up with. I apologise for some of these, they were thought up quickly and typed as I was thinking.

ill deck your halls
ill silent your night
ill jingle your bells
ill lick your candy cane
ill help you with your baubles if you can help me get my tinsel up
can i come on the donkey as well?
i'll be your virgin mary
roast my nuts on an open fire and ill make your snowman frosty
hey baby, wanna see what makes rudolphs nose red?
want to stuff my bird?
want to put your bacon round my chipolatta?
ill roast your potatoes
santa just came down my chimney
wanna see whats in my sac?
wanna see whats in my stocking?
want cream with your mince pie?
oh what fun it is to ride in a one horse open sleigh
if i hark your heralds, will you sing?
oh come all ye faithful


Can you think of any more?

[foot-loose]

If I can drink your egg, you can drink my nog!

[Sunny So Cal]

I'll stuff your stocking.
Will you toast my marshmallow?
Follow me in merry measure while I find your yuletide treasure (pleasure?).
I'll be your Vixen if you pull on my reins.
I'm like mistletoe. Hung. Wanna see?
Let's frolic and play "the eskimo way"

[Bonanzoid]

You can turn on my lights.
You can put my yuletide log in yer mouth. (or something along those crude lines)
No need to wrap it up.
Time to unload my sack. (Too crude? Apologies in advance)
Can I stick my mince pie in yer oven?

I now need to regroup and think of more.

[Bonanzoid]

You can pull my cracker.

And dammit I just noticed the sack one was covered in the first post.

[Ballbag]

Wanna have sex?

[Zoot]

Lets say I have a chicken and you have a donkey.
Your donkey eats the legs of my chicken.
Does that mean I have two feet of my * in your ass?

[Console]

Lets say I have a chicken and you have a donkey.
Your donkey eats the legs of my chicken.
Does that mean I have two feet of my * in your ass?

Only if the chicken was male, and the donkey ate the feet along with the legs of the male chicken, but yes, you would have two rooster legs and two rooster feet inside the donkey.

[Zoot]

Lets say I have a chicken and you have a donkey.
Your donkey eats the legs of my chicken.
Does that mean I have two feet of my * in your ass?

Only if the chicken was male, and the donkey ate the feet along with the legs of the male chicken, but yes, you would have two rooster legs and two rooster feet inside the donkey.

Bless you Mr Console, you're always the life and soul of the party.

[MK Chris]

I'm like mistletoe. Hung. Wanna see?

Well there's a revelation..

[Yudster]

Didn't you know Topher, EVERYONE in Southern California has had surgery.

[foot-loose]

Can I show you my winter wonderland?

[Zoot]

You're a Fairy footy, how would you like my oversized wooden trunk inserted into you?

[foot-loose]

Are you asking if I would sit on your christmas tree?

[Zoot]

I'll even let you shine my baubles if your a good boy.

Or I can dress up as Santa. You can sit on my lap and we'll talk about the first thing that pops up!

[foot-loose]

You better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout, I'll tell you why! Santa Clause is coming.

[Zoot]

Santa Clause is coming.

I'm dreaming of a white christmas...

[Yudster]

Some of these are making me retch.

[Boboff]

Go on suck it, it's Christmas

[Yudster]

It would have to be, I'm telling you.

[foot-loose]

Some of these are making me retch.

You can eat my cookie and drink my milk if that would make you feel better?

[Yudster]

Not exactly........

[foot-loose]

Said the shepherd boy to the litte lamb... "do you see what I see?".

[MK Chris]

Firstly, I know I complained about 'Chrimbo' the other day - but it rhymed.

No one's picked up on it so I will. It doesn't rhyme.

[foot-loose]

It rhymes more than 'Christmas Innuendo'.