chrismoyles.net
- Thu Apr 10, 2008 11:03 am
#337367
"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)
I was reading the following story last night, which made me honk with laughter, so have decided to share it:-
The comedian Chris Addison wrote a letter to the Inland Revenue, complaining about his tax bill. This is just a piece from the lengthy response:-
"Dear Mr Addison,
Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last (correspondence) as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand".
Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, while I have not seen the other letters to which you refer, I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils", Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised.
It may be true that your taxes "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services. (But) less than you imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores".
A couple of points arising from direct queries: 1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system; 2. You can rest assured that "sucking the marrows of those without nothing else to give" has never been considered as practice.
I trust this has helped. In the meantime, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up, and go and live in India", you would still owe us the money.
Please forward it by Friday."
The comedian Chris Addison wrote a letter to the Inland Revenue, complaining about his tax bill. This is just a piece from the lengthy response:-
"Dear Mr Addison,
Firstly, I must take issue with your description of our last (correspondence) as a "begging letter". It might perhaps more properly be referred to as a "tax demand".
Secondly, your frustration at our adding to the "endless stream of crapulent whining and panhandling vomited daily through the letterbox on to the doormat" has been noted. However, while I have not seen the other letters to which you refer, I would cautiously suggest that their being from "pauper councils", Lombardy pirate banking houses and pissant gas-mongerers might indicate that your decision to "file them next to the toilet in case of emergencies" is at best a little ill-advised.
It may be true that your taxes "go to shore up the canker-blighted, toppling folly that is the Public Services. (But) less than you imagine is spent on "junkets for Bunterish lickspittles" and "dancing whores".
A couple of points arising from direct queries: 1. The reason we don't simply write "Muggins" on the envelope has to do with the vagaries of the postal system; 2. You can rest assured that "sucking the marrows of those without nothing else to give" has never been considered as practice.
I trust this has helped. In the meantime, I ought to point out that even if you did choose to "give the whole foul jamboree up, and go and live in India", you would still owe us the money.
Please forward it by Friday."
"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)
