Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
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By Andy B
#348953
Release the beast within. Let it all hang out.
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By Yudster
#348988
Ballbag is the epitome of class. He is someone to aspire to.
By Ezza
#349002
I bruised my foot playing football today.
By Ezza
#349012
To be fair I was wearing flip-flops. Its my own fault, its just annoying me.
User avatar
By ladbroke
#349035
My Mrs being on a ridiculous diet is annoying me. It's because of some wedding she's going to be bridesmaid at in August. The Tesco man delivered the shopping last night and the fridge is now home to a disgraceful amount of green muck. She kind of insinuated that I'm in need of losing a bit so should go on it too. I'm happy in my world of strong continental lager and toast, but this it would seem leaves one or two food groups un ticked. I'm only allowed 28 grammes of bread per day, and a small amount of cheese to go in between my 28g of bread. Weight Watchers facists. I could murder a TGI's. I actually ate a real apple and orange last night.
User avatar
By rustybike
#349040
ladbroke wrote:I actually ate a real apple and orange last night.


As opposed to the fake apples and oranges?
User avatar
By ladbroke
#349044
rustybike wrote:
ladbroke wrote:I actually ate a real apple and orange last night.


As opposed to the fake apples and oranges?


As opposed to the Haribo variety, or fruit pastile variety :)
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By rustybike
#349055
Oh I see!
User avatar
By Yudster
#349057
ladbroke wrote:
rustybike wrote:
ladbroke wrote:I actually ate a real apple and orange last night.


As opposed to the fake apples and oranges?


As opposed to the Haribo variety, or fruit pastile variety :)

See that's not the way to your five a day!
User avatar
By MK Chris
#349062
No, but you can sneakily get your five a day by eating, say, a few pork and apple sausages. Chips count, as they're a vegetable.
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By ladbroke
#349067
Why do vegetables that taste good not count i.e. roast potatos, roast parsnips and chips. Basically if it tastes good don't eat it. I'm going to bed soon, I'm too hungry to stay up any longer (night work). There's a loaf of white bread in the kitchen that keeps calling me, complete with proper butter, no Flora nonsense!
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By Andy B
#349074
Lager is made from a sort of grass, does that count...technically so is tobacco so I'm on about 20 a day. I'm mega healthy me!
User avatar
By rustybike
#349077
Topher wrote:No, but you can sneakily get your five a day by eating, say, a few pork and apple sausages. Chips count, as they're a vegetable.


Wa Hey! Someone who thinks the same way as me!

Chocolate cake: Cake = Carbs, Cream = Calcium, Chocolate = Good Fat that fights off germs.
Strawberry Cake: Cake = Carbs, Cream = Calcium, Strawberry = Fruit.

You get the picture!
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By MK Chris
#349078
ladbroke wrote:proper butter, no Flora nonsense!

I actually prefer margarine. Don't ask me why, I just do. I usually put large amounts of cheese on them though, which probably negates the difference.
User avatar
By Yudster
#349081
rustybike wrote:
Topher wrote:No, but you can sneakily get your five a day by eating, say, a few pork and apple sausages. Chips count, as they're a vegetable.


Wa Hey! Someone who thinks the same way as me!

Chocolate cake: Cake = Carbs, Cream = Calcium, Chocolate = Good Fat that fights off germs.
Strawberry Cake: Cake = Carbs, Cream = Calcium, Strawberry = Fruit.

You get the picture!

You've missed a trick rusty - cream = protein too!
User avatar
By Bruvva
#349199
Silly clients who can't install software properly, end up breaking things and then phoning me at 4:30 in the morning moaning about it are annoying me today.

*yawns*
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By Andy B
#349206
Yeah, sorry about that but space invaders pinball 3D is essential at work these days!
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By Vivienne
#349211
Annoying me: a new guy has moved in underneath where I live, and the NOISE is just out of this world. He and his gf were having a colossal argument at 0300 hrs., which resulted in another neighbour calling the Police. :-(
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By Andy B
#349216
"There's no argument in the world that cannot be resolved if you have a fish and your opponent as an exhaust pipe" - Ancient chinese proverb.

Right this has been annoying me not just today but for years:

How do spiders spin the first bit of their web I've gone out to my garden some mornings and there are webs between two things that are not connected, like the fence and the side of my house. How on earth does it get from the fence to the wall of my house which is at least a metre apart? Other than jumping (and I cannot image a creature of that size jumping such a distance with a "tow rope" attached) the only other plausable explanation I can come up with is that it lets out a really long line, climbs down the fence, along the ground and then up the wall where it cuts it off to the right length and sitcks it to the wall. This would take far more forethought and planning than I am willing to attribute to an arachnid (so tempted just to put insect to piss people off!). Since however this is the only option I am left with I am left with one conclusion. That they are biding ther time in a bid to overthrow us as the dominant species and to quote Ken Brockman: May I be the first to welcome our new arachnid overlords!

Seriously though I've looked on you tube, wikipedia, yahoo answers and nowhere is there a good explanation of how the blazes they manage to do this.
User avatar
By Vivienne
#349217
That's good luck for you : a superstitious thing! If you see a spider, you're going to receive money. :-)
By Ezza
#349220
Andy B wrote:How do spiders spin the first bit of their web?

www.uksafari.com wrote:At the back of the spiders body there are three pairs of glands, each with a tube. These tubes are called spinnerets. The spider presses the spinnerets against an object and forces out some liquid silk. As the spider moves away from the object, this draws out the sticky liquid and it then hardens in the air.

To make sure the spider doesn't get caught in its own web, the spider coats its legs with an oily substance from its mouth.
User avatar
By timp
#349221
Vivienne wrote:Annoying me: a new guy has moved in underneath where I live, and the NOISE is just out of this world. He and his gf were having a colossal argument at 0300 hrs., which resulted in another neighbour calling the Police. :-(


Thank God this noise you heard was just arguing.
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