[foot-loose]

You mean that whole rant wasn't even based on a factual comment??

Boris Johnson I have a lot more time for. Mainly cos he makes me laugh.

[MK Chris]

Why do so many people read the 'Dear Deirdre' or 'Just Joan' problem pages with such enthusiasm?

"Dear Joan. I had sex with my dad and now I think I might be gay. My mum caught me in bed with my brother but just laughed it off saying it was 'all part of growing up'."

IT'S ALL MADE UP!

For the benefit of a certain other user on here, I thought I'd emphasise that particular bit.

Thanks foot-loose.

[Yudster]

Britney shaved her hair off?!

[Zoot]

I have a lot of problems with this whole 'Jade Goody has cancer and nearly died' thing, but at the moment I'm keeping it to myself, incase it's in bad taste.

[S4B]

I actually find Piers Morgan very funny. Wouldn't want him in charge of anything but he does amuse me. I'm gathering this will be a controversial declaration though. LOVED his talk at the closing of the Olympics "Ping Pong's coming home". hahahaha

Wasn't that Boris Johnson?

Oh yeah! Bugger! My brain is mush! I am soooo stupid.

*Goes off blushing*

Piers Morgan I can't stand! But the rant was very funny Foots.

[Yudster]

Don't bother Zoot, its a big yawn. One abnormal smear test does not life-threatening cancer make. Neccessarily.

[S4B]

She's only going on about it because she has a new book due in October.

[ladbroke]

Don't bother Zoot, its a big yawn. One abnormal smear test does not life-threatening cancer make. Neccessarily.

Ah good I'm not on my own then. One huge publicity stunt in my opinion. Many women have an abnormal smear, abnormal cells that could go on to be cancer if left un treated. I may be wrong but I wouldn't mind betting this is the case with Jade 'shit for brains' Goody.

[Zoot]

It's just - her 'career' nose dives after some raciest comments to to indian girl live on TV, next time you hear from you she's appearing on Indian Big Brother, then a few day's into it she diagnosed with cancer live on TV, then crying in a press conference about 'how I could of died if I stayed in the house...'
How did Max Clifford become rich again?

[S4B]

It's cos of the book Zooty! It's all a publicity stunt carefully designed by Max Clifford who got rich again (I think) by advising Maddy's parents.

[Yudster]

When did Max Clifford get poor?

[ladbroke]

It's just - her 'career' nose dives after some raciest comments to to indian girl live on TV, next time you hear from you she's appearing on Indian Big Brother, then a few day's into it she diagnosed with cancer live on TV, then crying in a press conference about 'how I could of died if I stayed in the house...'
How did Max Clifford become rich again?

I so donn't want to be dis respectful towards people who have had cancer, but the 'I could've died if I'd stayed in the house' comment made my blood boil. She wouldn't have died at all if it's abnormal cells, but they would've needed treatment at the earliest oppourtunity. A cringing scream for some more publicity, which she's now got.........

[S4B]

when there was no gossip he was in charge of manipulating. I think the poor thing is relative.

[ladbroke]

I don't have any problem with Max Clifford, he's shrewd enough to be making money out of all these genetic leftovers, like Jade Goody and Kerry Katona.

[Yudster]

I don't have any problem with Max Clifford, he's shrewd enough to be making money out of all these genetic leftovers, like Jade Goody and Kerry Katona.

Me neither. he is personally idealistic, outspoken about matters which really concern him (like the state of the NHS, which his family has experienced through his daughter's condition). He's a strong supported of the Trades Union movement, without which no employee rights would exist today (whether Union affiliated or not), and has more recently specialised in the protection of various gay footballers and other sports stars from misrepresentation in the press.

I agree he treads a fine line though, the high profile stuff he does can tend to make you wince at times - but I dont think he is all bad.

[fish heads]

Suicide. The art of ending your own life.
Countryside. The art of ending Piers Morgans.

One of Stephen Fry's that isn't it? Still brilliant.

Piers Morgan is the biggest moron going, and there isn't enough space on the internet for how much I detest him. Chris is right that he is one of the most deluded people on the planet.

As an aside, I once met Piers's niece by complete coincidence a while back. Apparently none of her family can stand him but she keeps him onside because of the big presents he buys her.

[foot-loose]

I have no idea who the original pen of that joke was. I just typed in "killing piers morgan jokes" into google and stumbled across it.

With regards to the whole Jade thing. Is it a shame if she has cancer? Of course. Am I interested in whither or not she has cancer? Not especially, but that's a matter of personal opinion. Is it worthwhile interviewing her because of the whole cancer thing? Sure - if it's gonna make people money, including her. She is nowhere near as stupid as she wants everyone to believe, and she has some damn intelligent people pulling the strings behind the scenes.

Is the fact that Jade has cancer worthy of a front page news paper? No.

Max Clifford is a funny one. On one hand, his job is to 'spin' the 'news' stories to make the papers play into his hand and tell the story he wants. Therefore, the papers get shafted by him. On the other - his job is to lie, cheat, cover up and manipulate. I don't think it's him I can't stand. It's the fact that he can exist in the first place that irks me.

[Sunny So Cal]

The longer people accept that the papers inventing and exaggerating stories is ok, the worse it will get. They are NOT here to inform readers of news (regardless of what they call themselves). They are here to sell papers. I have no problem with that. I DO have a problem with being told that Britney has shaved her hair off qualifies as news. If you want to sell celebrity gossip papers, go sell them! And call them that!

As a final point on this - I've just had a quick check to see what the main stories are at 12:30 on a Tuesday morning. At least I now know that Jade is off to see her dads grave. Look at the menu on the right - Big Brother comes above News?!?! I know I don't approve of internet jargon but seriously... WTF?

Ha. I love you, Foots! How anyone can spend one red cent buying these gossip rags and then waste countless hours of their lives perusing them is beyond me. What a lowly form of entertainment for the lowest common denominator of society. At the end of the day, who gives a * what Paris says and where Britney's hair has gone? What gets me is when it appears crawling along the ticker on the bottom of the news channels. It's not news! It doesn't belong listed down there with car bombings and plane crashes.

As for Piers Morgan. He's a disgusting twat.

[Vivienne]

With regards to the whole Jade thing. Is it a shame if she has cancer? Of course. Am I interested in whither or not she has cancer? Not especially, but that's a matter of personal opinion. Is it worthwhile interviewing her because of the whole cancer thing? Sure - if it's gonna make people money, including her. She is nowhere near as stupid as she wants everyone to believe, and she has some damn intelligent people pulling the strings behind the scenes.

Is the fact that Jade has cancer worthy of a front page news paper? No..

Many people would argue that it's not worthy of front page, and yet, it may well be that on account of her problems, many more women will go for the necessary tests. When Kylie was diagnosed with breast cancer, it was reported that many more women went for required tests, and she may well have saved a number of lives. Yep, Jade's a bungling twat with intelligent people behind her, but sometimes frontpage stories are necessary whether we like them, or not.

[foot-loose]

The story that she has cancer is just one in a long line of guff. Somehow I doubt that The Sun, or any of the other generic rags, told the story because they thought that it might do some women some good. They did it cos Jade Goody Gossip sells papers.

I also think that anyone that believes otherwise is pretty naive.

[Vivienne]

Now I never said that papers do it for the good of others. Clearly they do it because it's yet another Jade Goody moment. What I am saying is that many women reported that they went for required checks the last time, when young Kylie was diagnosed with Cancer. Sometimes these tabloids inadvertently do some good, although clearly that is NOT the purpose to their stories. I trust this is clear enough.

[ALFIE]

The longer people accept that the papers inventing and exaggerating stories is ok, the worse it will get. They are NOT here to inform readers of news (regardless of what they call themselves). They are here to sell papers. I have no problem with that. I DO have a problem with being told that Britney has shaved her hair off qualifies as news. If you want to sell celebrity gossip papers, go sell them! And call them that!

As a final point on this - I've just had a quick check to see what the main stories are at 12:30 on a Tuesday morning. At least I now know that Jade is off to see her dads grave. Look at the menu on the right - Big Brother comes above News?!?! I know I don't approve of internet jargon but seriously... WTF?

Ha. I love you, Foots! How anyone can spend one red cent buying these gossip rags and then waste countless hours of their lives perusing them is beyond me. What a lowly form of entertainment for the lowest common denominator of society. At the end of the day, who gives a * what Paris says and where Britney's hair has gone? What gets me is when it appears crawling along the ticker on the bottom of the news channels. It's not news! It doesn't belong listed down there with car bombings and plane crashes.

As for Piers Morgan. He's a disgusting twat.

Brilliant. I love that quote! 'You twat' is actually my favourite put down. But I never know if it is really offensive or not?
It seems to vary from person to person. I was told by my mother that is was very rude, but I see it as a bit of a light-hearted 'you idiot' type of comment!

Any ideas?

[Vivienne]

I see it as just joking really! You twat = you muppet, etc.

[Yudster]

I've never been able to take it seriously as a proper swearword, but I understand it supposedly has the same basic definition as *. So you can see why your mother wouldn't like it Alfie.

[MK Chris]

I often call myself a twat, usually when I am playing sport and do something stupid.