[Vivienne]

Have you ever read really silly quotes from people, or had friends say quite ridiculous things?

The following is a quote I was reading on the train this morning! Check this:-

"My dog has a great sense of style, so I'm constantly asking for his opinion". This comes courtesy of Jennifer Love Hewitt.

[MK Chris]

I have come across an absolute gold mine of 'ridiculous quotes'. See here.

[Yudster]

I have come across an absolute gold mine of 'ridiculous quotes'. See here.

I had a feeling I knew what this might be before I clicked it - you never let me down Topher!

[Zoot]

I have come across an absolute gold mine of 'ridiculous quotes'. See here.

Ha, ace!

[Console]

T'was a bit obvious.

[Zoot]

T'was a bit obvious.

Only cause you didn't post it first, be honest...

[Vivienne]

T'was a bit obvious.

It was really!! ha ha !!

[Console]

No, I try and avoid the obvious and go for the obscure, and sometimes un-knowable, references.

[Vivienne]

No, I try and avoid the obvious and go for the obscure, and sometimes un-knowable, references.

Class. You're some kid.

[Zoot]

No, I try and avoid the obvious and go for the obscure, and sometimes un-knowable, references.

Ahh, of course. You're a quote snob.

[Console]

No, I try and avoid the obvious and go for the obscure, and sometimes un-knowable, references.

Ahh, of course. You're a quote snob.

No, not a snob, not as such anyway. It's more that I make obscure, tenuous connections between things and assume that some people will be able to follow my thinking and find it as funny as I do (this is rarely the case).

[MK Chris]

Yes, but I'm thick so I tend to go for the obvious.

[MK Chris]

My stepsister thought clay pigeon shooting was shooting pigeons with clay (I think I have mentioned this before) and she also booked up on a skiing holiday and asked for a 'sea view'.

I also know someone who comes out with lots of funny stuff (we'll call them Kim because it's a unisex name)... such as:

• Kim thought wind farms made the wind move faster.
• Kim wondered if humans eat sheep.
• Kim one day asked three of their friends if potatoes were worth more than gold.
• Kim said if Lambs are baby Sheep why are the Chops called Lamb, not Sheep.
• Kim thinks that the breaks on the car are big metal things that come down onto the tyre to stop the wheels.
• Kim threw sunflower seeds out the window onto concrete and wondered why a few weeks later they hadnt grown.
• Kim was looking through a menu and it had petit pois on in and the comment came: "petit pois, there small potatos arent they?"
• Kim thought that baby ducks were called chicks (but my stepsister, as mentioned above, wasn't even sure what chicks are.)
• Kim thinks that Kazakhstan is a made up place where Borat lives.
• Kim's sister asked her to buy some fresh mint for *. Kim came back with a big packet of mince.

[Sunny So Cal]

When you can't afford your monthly cinema pass, do you ring Kim and your stepsister up so they can come round and talk instead? Are they your entertainment?

[S4B]

My sister in law once asked me if the Pope really was Catholic!

[Munki Bhoy]

My sister in law once asked me if the Pope really was Catholic!

Tell her he's actually a nazi.

[TIAL]

My dad once got Iron Maiden and Motorhead confused (I am a fan of both) and called them 'Maidenhead'.

Bless.

[MK Chris]

My sister in law once asked me if the Pope really was Catholic!

My sister once asked my mum and her other half if they were going up the pub, to which they asked 'is the Pope a Catholic?' 'I dunno', came her response.

Silly cow.

[Boboff]

I was setting up my Dad's new wireless laptop, he asked me where you plug the wires in !

[Console]

There are wires involved in a wireless setup.

[Boboff]

Not between the computer and you chosen router thing, in this instance though. That was the point.

[Console]

Actually, that depends on what router you've got; some require that you set them up via ethernet cable first (to setup the wireless interface).

[Boboff]

OK, so something my Dad said that I thought was daft, could actually have been a very coherent and incisive question in some circumstances, but it wasn't and isn't.

I had a blonde friend at school who asked another friend about her recent holiday in Australia, "how did you get there, drive?"

Now again, she could have driven, with the use of ferries etc I suppose, but as it is usual to fly, and she had only been away for 3 weeks the likelihood of her driving was remote, and therefore the question was considered to be daft, and funny.

My father is also keen on the question " do you want some Jam on that?" by which he means " you have exceeded the amount of Jam I consider to be sufficient on your latest serving of Jam and Toast. Even when it's my house, my Jam and my bread. Although the question may have been a genuine inquiry as to whether I have sufficient sweet spread on my Toast, it isn't and is therefore funny.

You see, whether a possible situation exists to support a certain inquiry often that possibility is remote, and we use our understanding of the to gage how funny we find it.

[MK Chris]

My father is also keen on the question " do you want some Jam on that?" by which he means " you have exceeded the amount of Jam I consider to be sufficient on your latest serving of Jam and Toast. Even when it's my house, my Jam and my bread. Although the question may have been a genuine inquiry as to whether I have sufficient sweet spread on my Toast, it isn't and is therefore funny.

I'm often asked if I want 'some crumble with your cream'.

[Boboff]

Another recent great Dad line, after spending a day powerwashing the path and patio.

"been playing with the power washer again?"

The really scary bit is when you do it to your own kids, luckily we are sufficiently open, that when this does occur the kids will come back with "Do you want some more Jam on that?" line. They also love the line "do you want a smack, do you?" Sarcasm at six !