[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Chemical Brothers, Let Forever Be

Today's Transcript:

Seven days in the sun is what you might describe as a week away. Away is the opposite of home in the world of team sports like football and rugby. Football and rugby are two examples of sports which require the wearing of boots to stop you from slipping over. The plural of 'over' is 'overs', which are what you have in cricket, which is a game where they also stop for tea. Tea is a drink made from tea leaves, which grow in places like India or China. China has many languages, with Mandarin Chinese being well known for being the most widely spoken language in the world. 'The World Is Not Enough' is a James Bond film which I think starred Pierce Brosnan. Pierce Brosnan is famously Irish, and in that respect shares something in common with Terry Wogan and Graham Norton. Terry Wogan and Graham Norton have now both hosted Eurovision, which takes place every year and showcases some of the worst singing and musical talent in Eastern Europe. Europe is where Oasis have performed many times over the years, but possibly never again as Noel has left the band, possibly to pursue other musical projects, and in the past he's worked with other people such as the Chemical Brothers, which links to The Chemical Brothers and 'Let Forever Be'.

Flaws:

Pierce Brosnan did indeed star in 'The World Is Not Enough', so seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #9

Dave's third choice by the Chemical Brothers this year - we heard Star Guitar ten weeks ago and Setting Sun around five months ago.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Naughty By Nature, O.P.P.

Today's Transcript:

The Chemical Brothers aren't real brothers, unlike the Chuckle Brothers who actually are. R Kelly is a big name in the world of American music, probably best known these days for some of the great records he's made over the years. 'Years' rhymes with 'tears', which are what you might have rolling down your cheeks while cutting onions. Onions, first name Graham, is a famous cricketer who was part of England's famous Ashes-winning squad. 'Ashes' was the title of a big hit for the band Embrace. Embrace is what world leaders do when they meet friends and family at the airport. The airport is always an expensive place to park, especially if you end up putting it in the short-stay overnight. Overnight is when most people sleep, unless you work nights like my brother-in-law Mike is this week. 'Mic' is an abbreviation of 'microphone', which is what you have to sing into when you're doing karaoke. There'll be a lot of karaoke going on this week, you may have heard, when this show goes on the road for a national celebration of us. 'Us' is how the members of the US rap outfit Naughty By Nature would refer to themselves if they were in a band meeting or conference or something, which links to Naughty By Nature and 'O.P.P.'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1992

Highest UK Chart Position - #35

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Gary Barlow, Greatest DJ

Today's Transcript:

OPP stands for lots of things, but it could stand for 'one per person'. One per person is what you might say if you were having a small buffet and serving nice little bits of fish and chips. Fish and chips is what we had for our lunch yesterday down at the Barbican in Plymouth. Plymouth is a naval city, which means that it's full of sailors and seamen. Seaman, first name David, used to have a ponytail and used to play in goal for Arsenal. An arsenal is how you might describe a collection of guns. Guns N' Roses is a legendary LA rock group fronted by lead singer Axl Rose. The plural of 'rose' is 'roses', which can be many, many colours, such as white and red. In British history the white rose represented Yorkshire, while the red rose represented the other side of the Pennines, Lancashire, and in fact there were wars over this, I think they were called the 'wars of the roses'. If you travelled from Yorkshire to Lancashire across the M62 you would get to Lancashire, and a big city in Lancashire is Manchester, and a band from Manchester are Take That, which links to a classic parody by Gary Barlow and 'Greatest DJ'.

Flaws:

Manchester is no longer part of Lancashire - it's part of Greater Manchester.

Tedious Facts:

This of course hasn't been released as a single, but was a parody of Take That's hit 'Greatest Day', originally recorded by Gary Barlow to celebrate Chris' most recent birthday, and played today as part of the celebrations for Chris' new record as the longest serving Radio 1 breakfast DJ.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Chris Moyles (aka Shifty Gears), Lorry Driver

Today's Transcript:

Greatest DJ was recorded by Gary Barlow, who shares the same surname as Tracy Barlow from Coronation Street. Coronation Street is set in Weatherfield but filmed at Granada Studios in Manchester. Manchester City are now the richest club in the world, having been taken over by an Arab Sheik. Shake is what you do to champagne if you're a Formula 1 racing driver and you want it to go everywhere. 'Everywhere' was a big hit years ago for the band Fleetwood Mac, ask your parents. 'Mac' rhymes with 'pack', which is what you have to do with your clothes when you go on holiday, or maybe when you're out on the road like James Corden. 'Holiday' is the title of the current record by Dizzee Rascal, which has been produced by Mr Calvin Harris. 'Harris' rhymes with 'Paris', which is the capital of France. France is where Thierry Henry is from, who now plays for Barcelona. Barcelona would be a really long way tp drive if you were a long-distance lorry driver, which links to essentially us, and 'Lorry Driver'.

Flaws:

Watertight today.

Tedious Facts:

Once again this isn't a chart choice but Chris' parody of Britney Spears' hit 'Womanizer'.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Dominic Byrne (with Chris and Dave), No Hair

Today's Transcript:

A lorry driver is someone who'd have to stop for a tackle break for safety reasons at motorway services. Motorway services are always a good place to stop for a wee and a coffee if you're feeling tired. 'Tired' rhymes with 'fired', which is what Sir Alan Sugar would say if he kicked you off 'The Apprentice'. 'The Apprentice' is a massive show which is on the BBC and this year was won by Yasmeena, with the runner-up being Kate. 'Kate' rhymes with 'date', which is something that you might go on if you were single, and something that you might eat if you were on holiday. 'Holiday' was the title of a massive hit for Madonna, who's from Detroit in America. America was discovered years ago by Christopher Columbus, who was good at sailing on his boat. 'Boat' rhymes with 'goat', which is a four-legged animal which likes to eat grass. Grass is green and therefore the same colour as frogs. Frogs are good at jumping and like to live on lily ponds. Ponds are also a good place to keep goldfish, because it gives them room to swim around in there. 'There' rhymes with 'hair', which is something that Dominic Byrne doesn't have very much of, which links to Dominic and 'No Hair'.

Flaws:

Columbus did not discover America at all, he was preceded there by the Norse - we've had this same error before. He was good at sailing, though.

Tedious Facts:

Another parody choice, this track was based on Jordin Sparks and Chris Brown's hit 'No Air'.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Chris Moyles (aka Carrie's Cousin & Kanye Westcountry), Somerset Boy

Today's Transcript:

No hair is how you might describe someone who is bald. Baldness is a problem that affects Willie Thorne, who's from Leicester, like Gary Lineker and Serge from Kasabian. Serge from Kasabian is a musical celebrity who's providing his house as the first location for Jo Whiley's Live Lounge tour, which starts next week. Weak is how you might feel if you haven't eaten enough food. Food Records is a label which used to be home to the band Blur, who were originally known as Seymour. See more is what you might like to have happen to you if you were visually impaired. 'Paired' means that you've been made up with somebody else in a twosome. Two multiplied by six is twelve, which is a dozen, which is also a popular quantity for the sale of eggs. Eggs can be laid by all sorts of animals, from crocodiles to chickens. Chickens have a funny walk and like to say 'cluck cluck cluck'. 'Cluck' rhymes with 'puck', which is a large metal ball-type thing that they play with in ice hockey. Ice hockey is popular in the cold parts of America, such as Seattle, and in Canada. Canada is where Keifer Sutherland is from, who's the star of the US show 24, and 24 is the average number of cows owned by boys in Somerset, which links to 'Somerset Boy'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Today's parody choice was based on Estelle & Kanye West's hit 'American Boy'.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Oasis, Live Forever

Today's Transcript:

Somerset is a major producer of cider from its many orchards which contain lots of apples. Apples can also be used to make apple pie which is nice served with ice cream and custard. 'Custard' rhymes with 'mustard', which is not so good with apple pie, and probably better served with roast beef and Yorkshire pudding. Yorkshire pudding can also be served with jam, while 'jam' rhymes with 'ham', which, like pork, comes from pigs. Pigs can't fly, unlike eagles and sparrows which clearly can. Cannes is also the name of a town on the French Riviera, famous for its annual film festival, and if you multiply the word 'can' by two you get 'can-can', which is a French dance that you might see in the Moulin Rouge in Paris. 'Moulin Rouge' literally translated means 'red windmill', while windmills are more commonly associated with Holland than France. France are one of the six nations that compete in the international rugby tournament of the same name. The words 'same' and 'name' both rhyme with 'game', which is the general term for stuff like partridge, grouse, pheasant and venison. Venison, first name Barry, used to play for Liverpool and Newcastle United. Newcastle United won this weekend, as did Manchester City, who are of course the team of choice for both Noel and Liam Gallagher of Oasis, which links to Oasis and 'Live Forever'.

Flaws:

I had no idea Yorkshire pudding could be eaten with jam, but research has confirmed Dave's assertion, so seamless again today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #10

Time once again to check the archives - Dave last linked to this track back in January 2003.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Green Day, Basket Case

Today's Transcript:

Oasis have, for the moment anyway, split up, and in that respect share something in common with Peter Andre and Jordan. Jordan's real name is Katie Price, and she's from Brighton and likes to ride horses. Horses are what cowboys also ride in America when they're trying to round up their cattle. 'cattle' rhymes with 'Battle' which is a Sussex town that's home to the band Keane. Keane, first name Roy, is under pressure at Ipswich Town at the moment to start getting results. Results are what many A-Level students received last month, which will hopefully have been good enough to see them starting university shortly. If you remove the last two letters of 'shortly' you're left with 'short', which when combined with the word 'bread' gives you 'shortbread', which is a delicacy in Scotland. Scotland is where Lorraine Kelly is from, and she shares one name in common with Kelly Holmes, who's good at running and has won medals in the Olympics. The Olympics were first held in Athens years ago, and Athens is the capital of Greece. Grease is also the title of a famous film starring John Travolta, and John Travolta has got black hair and is from America, which leads us to someone else who has got black hair and is from America, Billie Joe Armstrong of Green Day, which links to Green Day and 'Basket Case'.

Flaws:

Once again watertight.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1994 (re-released January 1995)

Highest UK Chart Position - #55 (#7 on re-release)

Another track from the archives - Dave last linked to this one in October 2002.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

The Spice Girls, Stop

Today's Transcript:

A basket is the sort of thing that snake charmers keep their snakes in in places like Morocco. Morocco is a colourful country of culture, herbs and spices which is situated in the North of Africa. As well as being the name of a massive continent that's home to lions and elephants and stuff, 'Africa' is also the name of a well-known fragrance for men. Men make up almost exactly 50% of the population globally, with the other 50% being made up mainly of women. 'Women' rhymes with 'swimming' which is what I like to do when I'm on holiday somewhere nice and hot. Hot is how you might describe chili sauce or spicy peppers. Peppers come in many different colours, such as green, red and yellow, and in that respect are a bit like traffic lights. Traffic lights are there to make road junctions safer. The word 'safer' is nearly an anagram of 'after', which in the world of time is the opposite of 'before'. Before Christ in the world of history is represented by the letters 'BC', which shouldn't be mistaken for 'DC', as in Washington DC, where the DC stands for District of Columbia. Washington DC is in America, in fact I think it's the capital, which is where both Posh Spice and Scary Spice from The Spice Girls now live, which links to The Spice Girls and 'Stop'.

Flaws:

According to the most recent statistics available, women actually make up 51% of the global population. (You also have to wonder when Dave said that 50% is "made up mainly of women", what else he was imagining it was made up of...)

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Jason Nevins/UKNY featuring Holly James, I'm In Heaven

Today's Transcript:

Stop is what you should always do if you're driving and you see a halt sign or a red light. Red Light Company are a band who've had minor hits with 'Scheme Eugene' and 'Arts and Crafts'. Arts and crafts is a general term for things like painting and stuff made out of toilet roll holders. Toilet roll and toilet roll holders are essentially made out of trees. In order to make paper-type products out of trees, the wood needs to be turned into a pulp. Pulp is the name of a legendary Sheffield band who are fronted by Jarvis *. * is a word associated with spaniels, who have floppy ears and tend to be, in my opinion, at the smellier end of the dog spectrum. The plural of 'dog' is 'dogs', which are used by the police, and these special police dogs are usually Alsatians, which originate from Germany, like Boris Becker. 'Becker' rhymes with 'decker', as in Double Decker, which is a chocolate bar I'd not seen for years until Piers offered me half of his one day last week on the tour bus on the way up to Glasgow. If you were from Glasgow and hadn't been there for years and then returned and it was really lovely, you might take a deep breath of lovely Scottish air and say "I'm in heaven", which links to Jason Nevins featuring Holly James and 'I'm In Heaven'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #9

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Snoop Doggy Dogg, What's My Name

Today's Transcript:

Heaven is where you go in the afterlife if you're good, as opposed to hell, which is where you go if you're bad. 'Bad' is the title of a classic album by Michael Jackson, who sadly passed away in June. June Brown is the name of the actress who plays 'Eastenders' stalwart Dot Cotton. Dot Cotton shares the same surname as Fearne Cotton, who starts her new show today, and presumably, if you want to get in touch with Fearne, her email will be 'Fearne-dot-Cotton'. Cotton is what they make clothes out of, and grows naturally in the wild, a bit like apples. Apples come in many different shapes and sizes, such as Pink Lady and Cox's. Coxes of a different type are an important part of rowing, because they steer and also call the stroke, and have to be really small, a bit like jockeys. Jockeys ride horses and are normally Irish. Irish stew is a tasty winter dish made with lamb. Lamb rogan josh is what we had as our free main course from the Indian takeaway on Friday night, thanks to our deal. Friday night is when 'Strictly Come Dancing' started, and if Snoop Doggy Dogg ever did 'Strictly Come Dancing' and Craig Revel Horwood didn't know who he was, he's probably say "Craig, what's my name", which links to Snoop Doggy Dogg and 'What's My Name'.

Flaws:

Apples don't exactly come in different shapes - I think Dave meant different varieties. Additionally, Irish stew isn't just made with lamb; beef and mutton can also be used. Also it's a bit of a sweeping generalisation to say that jockeys are "normally Irish"...

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 1993

Highest UK Chart Position - #20

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Pearl Jam, Alive

Today's Transcript:

Snoop Dogg isn't actually Snoop Dogg's real name, as he's really called Calvin, like Calvin Harris who's from Scotland, although Calvin Harris isn't Calvin Harris' real name, as he was born Adam Wiles in Dumfries. According to the Bible, Adam was the name of the first man who lived in the Garden of Eden with Eve, and the two of them used to eat pretty much nothing but apples. Yesterday we picked loads of apples off our tree in the garden, washed them, and put them in trays in the garage to store. 'Store' rhymes with 'snore', which is what some people do when they sleep, which can be difficult for the person they're sleeping with as it can keep them awake. Awake is what you need to be before you get on a motorbike, as it requires concentration, and a crash helmet. 'Helmut' is a popular boys' name in Germany, along with other names such as Hans, Fritz and Franz. Franz Ferdinand, despite their name, aren't actually German, and are from Scotland, like Gordon Ramsay. Gordon Ramsay has got lots of restaurants and likes to shout at people in the kitchen. The kitchen is normally the best place to do all of your cooking, and to keep things like your bread, milk and jam. If you combine the word 'jam' with 'pearl' you get Pearl Jam, which links to Pearl Jam and 'Alive'.

Flaws:

A quick check of my Bible confirms that Adam and Eve simply ate "the fruit of the trees" in the Garden of Eden, with no specific references to apples.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1992

Highest UK Chart Position - #16

Dave last linked to this track just under six months ago, so it's obviously another favourite.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Cornershop, Brimful Of Asha (Remix)

Today's Transcript:

Pearl Jam are from Seattle, which is the coffee capital of America. Coffee is grown from beans, as are beanstalks, like the one Jack had. Jack Beanstalk shares the same first name as Jack Osbourne, who's the son of legendary rock God Ozzy Osbourne from Black Sabbath. The Sabbath, in terms of days of the week, is, I think, Sunday, which is counted as part of the weekend. The weekend happens every week and tends to be when most sporting and church issues are sorted out. Out is where a dog would want to go if it had been cooped up in the house all night. If you put a 'k' in front of 'night' you get 'knight', as in knights who used to wear chain mail and suits of armour and stuff, like the Knights of the Round Table. 'Round Table' was the name of a legendary Radio 1 music review show from the olden days, which used to be hosted for a time by Jakki Brambles, who now does 'Loose Women'. 'Loose Women''s Lynda Bellingham is one of the contestants on this year's 'Strictly Come Dancing', following in the footsteps of former celebrity dancers such as Jon Sergeant, Darren Gough and Zoe Ball. Zoe Ball is married to Norman Cook, aka Fatboy Slim, who was behind the remix of Cornershop's 'Brimful Of Asha', which links to Cornershop and 'Brimful Of Asha'.

Flaws:

Jack (of the beanstalk)'s surname was not actually Beanstalk, and although the origins of the story are uncertain, a version published in 1734 had it as Spriggins. Also, the Sabbath is a weekly day of rest and/or worship and can happen on any day of the week; Dave's confusion arises from the fact that Christians observe Sabbath on Sundays, but Judaism, for example, observes Shabbat from sundown on Friday until the appearance of three stars in the sky on Saturday night.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

McFly, Obviously

Today's Transcript:

A corner shop is where you can normally buy everyday essentials, such as newspapers and crisps. Crisps are made from potatoes, which are grown in the ground, while 'Ground Force' was the name of a garden makeover programme starring Alan Titchmarsh, Charlie Dimmock and Tommy Walsh. Tommy Walsh shares the same first name of Tommy Lee from Motley Crue, who used to be married to Pamela Anderson from 'Baywatch'. 'Baywatch' also starred David Hasselhoff, who's now best friends with our very own Scott Mills. Mills are what they used to spin cotton in during the Industrial Revolution in much of Lancashire. 'Revolution' is the name of a classic track by The Beatles which was no doubt recorded at the world famous Abbey Road studios in London, which is where we were yesterday, which weirdly is another classic Beatles track. The plural of 'track' is 'tracks', which are what a train runs on. Onomatopoeia is a word used to describe any word that sounds like a noise, such as 'miaow', 'woof', 'moo' or maybe 'ribbit'. 'Ribbit' is the noise you'd associate with a frog. A frog is a good example of an animal that begins with the letter 'F', as is a fox. Michael J Fox is the actor who starred in the 'Back To The Future' films, playing lead character Marty McFly, which links to McFly and 'Obviously'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - July 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Robbie Williams, Lazy Days

Today's Transcript:

The inspiration behind the name McFly, 'Back To The Future' and 'Back To The Future III', were both on at the weekend, but weirdly, there was no showing of 'Back To The Future II'. Two multiplied by nine is 18, which is the age you're allowed to vote in this country. As well as being where you live, country is also a word associated with music, as an abbreviation of 'country & western'. Country & western music enthusiasts tend to wear large ten-gallon hats and those odd string ties. Ties are what you don't have if you're single, which means that you can pretty much do whatever. 'Whatever' was the title of a hit for Oasis, taken from their classic debut album 'Definitely Maybe'. 'Maybe' is what people say if they don't want to commit themselves to something they don't really fancy. If you combine the word 'fondant' with 'fancy', you get a fondant fancy, which is something you might find in a cake shop. A cake shop is what our very own producer, Mrs Rachel Mallender, wants to run one day, and did you know that Rachel got married on Saturday, and it was lovely. I would imagine if her and her new husband felt anything like we did yesterday, they probably achieved very little and had a very relaxing lazy day, which links to Robbie Williams and 'Lazy Days'.

Flaws:

'Whatever' wasn't on 'Definitely Maybe', it actually wasn't included on any Oasis album.

Tedious Facts:

Released - July 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #8

Dave loves a bit of vintage Robbie Williams - we heard South Of The Border around five months ago and Old Before I Die three months ago. He also Linked to this very track back in August 2002.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Travis, Sing

Today's Transcript:

According to the papers, Robbie Williams looks set to work again on something with the rest of Take That. Take That have had many hits over the years, including 'Back For Good', 'Relight My Fire' and 'Pray'. Pray is what you do in church, and traditionally you're supposed to kneel. Neil is a name which links Christine Hamilton's husband with Greg James' producer. Greg James is now on in the afternoons, which means he must be getting more sleep. Sleep is important for all animals, otherwise they can't properly function. The word 'function' rhymes with 'junction', which is what you have a lot of on the motorway. The plural of 'motorway' is 'motorways', which is going to be my specialist subject when I do 'Mastermind'. 'Mastermind' is now hosted by Mr John Humphrey, who shares one name in common with Mika's penguin. Penguins live in cold places and like to eat a lot of raw seafood, a bit like the Japanese. The Japanese are also responsible for inventing karaoke, where amateur performers drink too much, generally, and then decide to sing, which links to Travis and 'Sing'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 2001

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Salt 'N' Pepa, Push It

Today's Transcript:

Sing is what you do if you're in a choir, where you probably also wear robes. 'Robes' rhymes with 'lobes', which are the soft fleshy parts of your ears, and the bits that people normally get pierced. If you remove the last letter of 'pierced' your left with 'Pierce', as in Pierce Brosnan, who used to be James Bond. James Bond shares the same surname as Jenny Bond, who's probably best known for being a Royal correspondent and also a contestant years ago on 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here', which begins again very soon with Ant & Dec live in Australia. 'Australia' was the title of a hit years ago by the Manic Street Preachers, who are from South Wales. South Wales is where they used to do a lot of coal mining. If you swap the first letter of 'coal' for an 'F' you get 'foal', which is a word for a baby horse. The plural of 'horse' is 'horses', which have been used as transport for centuries, especially before the invention of cars or motorbikes. Cars and motorbikes have to pay road tax, which supposedly pays for the upkeep of roads. 'Roads' rhymes with 'toads', which are a bit like a bigger version of frogs. Frogs' legs are a delicacy in France, and France is a country which heavily seasons its food, which means that as well as being full of stuff like garlic and herbs, it also contains lots of salt and pepper, which links to Salt 'N' Pepa and 'Push It'.

Flaws:

Obviously people can get many parts of their ear other than the lobe pierced, but it's fair to say that lobe piercing is the most common type, so seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1988

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

Dave last linked to this track back in January 2003.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Aerosmith, Dude (Looks Like A Lady)

Today's Transcript:

Salt and pepper are condiments, although you sometimes don't get them on the table in posh restaurants, cos it's considered rude. 'Rudebox' was the title of the last album from Robbie Williams, while his latest work, which is getting far better reviews, is entitled 'Reality Killed The Video Star'. The plural of 'star' is 'stars', which is what you might be seeing if you'd been punched by Ricky Hatton. Ricky Hatton supports Manchester City, who are managed by Mark Hughes. Mark Hughes shares the same first name as Mark Ronson, who recently gave Chris the very cool gift of a trumpet. A trumpet is a brass instrument, alomg with stuff like the trombone, the tuba and the French horn. A French horn is nothing like a shoehorn, which is what they use in shoe shops to help you get your feet into new shoes. New shoes shouldn't be put on the table cos it's really bad luck. Luck is what you need a lot of if you're spending a day at the races. 'A Day At The Races' was the title of an album by Queen years ago, and also a live concert DVD released in the year 2001 by Stereophonics. If Kelly Jones from Stereophonics went on stage in America wearing a dress and a blonde wig and high heels and stuff, people in the crowd would probably say "that dude looks like a lady", which links to Aerosmith and 'Dude (Looks Like A Lady)'.

Flaws:

Once again watertight.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #20

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Primal Scream, Rocks

Today's Transcript:

Aerosmith are fronted by rock legend Steven Tyler, who's the dad of actress Liv Tyler, who's been in many, many films, such as 'The Incredible Hulk', 'Lord Of The Rings' and 'Jersey Girl'. Jersey is one of the Channel Islands, and was the setting for the old detective show 'Bergerac', starring actor John Nettles. Nettles are to be avoided if you're wearing shorts, as you might get your legs stung. The word 'stung' is the past tense of 'sting', while Sting the singer was born Gordon Sumner in Newcastle-upon-Tyne, which is also where Cheryl Cole is from. Cheryl Cole has got the boys in this year's 'X Factor', and took them all to Marrakech in Morocco. Morocco is in North Africa, pretty much straight across the water from Spain and Gibraltar. Gibraltar is famous for its rock and flea-ridden monkeys. If monkeys ran a business it would be a monkey business, and 'Unfinished Monkey Business' was the title of the debut solo album by Ian Brown. Ian Brown was the lead singer of the legendary Stone Roses, which were made up of him, John Squire, Reni and Mani, and Mani is now the bass player in Primal Scream, which links to Primal Scream and 'Rocks'.

Flaws:

Again seamless.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #7

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Missy Elliott featuring Ludacris, Gossip Folks

Today's Transcript:

Rocks, or more specifically 'on the rocks', is a phrase in the world of beverages used to mean that the drink contains ice. 'Ice Road Truckers' is a great series, all about truckers battling against the hostile winter elements where the winter road just gets in your blood. Blood is something that is warm in humans and cold in things like lizards. Lizards can be scaly and are collectively known as reptiles. Tiles are what most people have on the floor in their bathrooms and kitchens, as they are practical in areas liable to spillage. A spillage is something that you'd expect from a clumsy spiller, while Spiller was the name of the artist who collaborated with Sophie Ellis Bexter years ago on the dance classic 'Groovejet', which was a big hit in Ibiza. Ibiza is in the Balearics and somewhere that they speak a lot of Spanish. The Spanish are big fans of the omelette, which can't be made without breaking a few eggs. Eggs come from hens, which lay them when they're happy. 'Happy Ending' was a top ten hit a couple of years ago for the artist Mika. If you were looking down an alphabetical list of musical artists, you'd find Mika just before people like Mike & The Mechanics and Missy Elliott, which links to Missy Elliott and 'Gossip Folks'.

Flaws:

It's a contested issue whether hens are happy when they lay eggs. Hens kept in battery cages that are so small they are unable to stretch their wings, walk or peck do still lay eggs.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #9

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Radiohead, Just

Today's Transcript:

Missy Elliott shares the same surname as Fred Elliott from 'Coronation Street', who's a butcher. Butcher, first name Ricky, is another famous name from the world of soaps, as it's the 'Eastenders' character played by actor Sid Owen. Owen Coyle is the manager of Burnley, and Burnley is in Lancashire. Lancashire hotpot is a good thing to eat in weather like this when it's cold, wet and rubbish. Rubbish of a different type is what's been building up in Leeds over recent weeks, cos of a binmen strike. Strike were a short-lived mid-90s dance act, who had one decent hit, in my opinion, with 'U Sure Do'. 'Doo', as in 'dog doo', is another word for mess, when a dog fouls the pavement. Pavement is the name of an alternative band from California, while California is the state that's now governed by former terminator Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger. Arnold Schwarzenegger is Austrian, and in that respect shares something in common with Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart and Sigmund Freud. Sigmund Freud's great-granddaughter is Emma Freud, who's the other half of British film director Richard Curtis. Richard Curtis is from Northamptonshire, as are Jo Whiley and Thom Yorke from Radiohead, which links to Radiohead and 'High and Dry'.

Chris: Er, does it?
Dave: Yep.
Chris: Are you sure?
Dave: Yep.
Chris: I...I like that song, but if you were to choose another Radiohead song that I loved...I mean any, any other...
Dave: Well, we...
Chris: I mean, name some more...
Dave: We could have 'Creep'...
Chris: Er, no...yeah...
Dave: Or we could have 'Just'...
Chris: I love 'Just'! That would be brilliant.
Dave: Right, so not 'High and Dry', as specified?
Chris: No, that's not what came up on my screen...
Dave: Okay...
Chris: This is payback for choosing 'Gossip Folks' by Missy Elliott yesterday.
Dave: This is 'just' a *...
Chris: I love 'Just' by Radiohead, Dave, did you lead us to that?
Dave: Should we not pad and find 'High and Dry'...or should we just play 'Just'?
Chris: Well, we could...but I like 'Just'...
Aled: This is the first feature that went wrong today. Everything else is just fine.
Chris: It's ready to go...
Dave: Okay, well, this links us to, of course, Radiohead and 'Just'.
Chris: Brilliant! That's the one cued up Dave, I can't believe it. Okay, abort, abort!

Flaws:

Several celebrity-based problems today. The character of Fred Elliott is no longer with us, although he was indeed a butcher. Mozart was born in what is now Austria, but at the time of his birth it was part of the Holy Roman Empire, whilst Freud was born in what was Austria at the time but is now in fact part of the Czech Republic. And Richard Curtis was born in New Zealand, but moved to England aged eleven.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #19

Listen to the Link:

http://chrismoyles.net/soundvault/soundvault.php?fileid=2492

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Bryan Adams, Summer Of 69

Today's Transcript:

'Just' rhymes with 'bust', which is either the measurement that ladies need in order to buy the right bra, or a word for a large head sculpture that could be made of bronze. Bronze is basically third place in the Olympics, behind silver and gold. 'Gold' rhymes with 'Bold', which is described as being 'two in one'. 'Two Become One' was the title of a number one hit years ago for the Spice Girls. The Spice Girls had two Mels, but only one Geri, whose nickname was Ginger. Ginger is a popular ingredient in Oriental cookery. Oriental cookery is the area of expertise of celebrity chef Ken Hom. Ken Hom shares the same surname as Josh Homme, who's the massive-sized frontman of Queens Of The Stone Age, and who's recently worked with, and become friends with, Biffy Clyro. Biffy Clyro were recently a featured artist on Jo Whiley's Live Lounge tour, where she also visited the homes of Serge from Kasabian and Dizzee Rascal. Dizzee Rascal shares the same initials as Daniel Radcliffe, who's the actor who plays Harry Potter. Harry Potter has been a huge, massive, worldwide success everywhere, from Cairo to Canada. Canada is where Bryan Adams is from, which links to Bryan Adams and 'Summer Of 69'.

Flaws:

Ken Hom and Josh Homme don't really share the same surname - just a technicality.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1985

Highest UK Chart Position - #42

This is Dave's lowest-charting choice in some time (excluding tracks that weren't released as singles at all), failing to make the UK top 40 back in 1985.

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Sum 41, Fat Lip

Today's Transcript:

69 is one of the few numbers that looks the same upside down and the right way up, a bit like 88, 96 and eleven. Eleven is the amount of players allowed on the pitch at any one time in any one team in the game of football. Football is how Ian Wright made his name, although these days he's concentrating on his TV career. If you get rid of one of the 'E's in 'career' you get 'carer', which is possibly also a career for those that work in healthcare, looking after those that need looking after. After eight is the agreed time for eating wafer thin mints. Mince of a different type might be made from beef or lamb, the latter being the key ingredient in shepherd's pie. Pi is a mathematical equation or theory or something, which to two decimal places is 3.14. If I saw the numbers 3.14 on my alarm clock, I'd know that I could roll over and have at least another hour's sleep. 'Sleep' rhymes with 'sheep', which are responsible for the production of wool globally, which can be knitted into gloves, jumpers and, of course, bobble hats. Hats are something that Elton John used to wear a lot of in the olden days, before he got his hair done. Elton John has played concerts all over the world from Cambridge to Canada, and Canada is where many musical artists over the years have come from, such as Bryan Adams, Avril Lavigne and Sum 41, which links to Sum 41 and 'Fat Lip'.

Flaws:

The term "shepherd's pie" has historically been used synonymously with "cottage pie", meaning the principal ingredient can be either beef or mutton. There is now a popular tendency for "shepherd's pie" to be used when the meat is mutton or lamb, with the suggested origin being that shepherds are concerned with sheep and not cattle, but this may be an example of folk etymology. Additionally, Pi is actually a mathematical constant; for the mathematically minded, its value is the ratio of any circle's circumference to its diameter in Euclidean space, and this is the same value as the ratio of a circle's area to the square of its radius.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 2001

Highest UK Chart Position - #8

The second Link in succession where Dave has used "...and an artist from Canada is..." as his endpoint.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Goldie, Inner City Life

Today's Transcript:

A fat lip is what you'd have if you'd just been punched in the mouth. If you swap the first letter of 'mouth' for an 'S' you get 'south', as in Journey South, who were two brothers who were both from Teeside, like Marcus who does the voiceover stuff on 'Big Brother'. 'Big Brother' is presented by the lovely Davina McCall, who can speak proper French like Gerard Depardieu. Gerard Depardieu is an actor, and in that respect shares something in common with Paul Danan, who used to be Sol in 'Hollyoaks'. 'Hollyoaks' is set in Chester, which is the city that the Romans called Deva. 'Deva' is an anagram of Dave, which I think is a good traditional British name, a bit like Harold or Edward. Edward The Confessor was a famous King years ago, who died in 1066, which is also the year in history that the Battle of Hastings took place, where King Harold died after being shot with an arrow in the eye. 'Eye Of The Tiger' is a classic rock track which appeared on the soundtrack of the movie 'Rocky', starring Sylvester Stallone. 'Rocky' is all about boxing, and I would imagine is a favourite film of Joe Calzaghe's, who's now doing 'Strictly Come Dancing'. Dancing is what people like to do on holiday, whereas Dizzee Rascal's recent hit 'Holiday' features drum and bass legend Goldie in the video, and Goldie is the subject of tonight's 1Extra 'Masterpieces' series, which links to Goldie and 'Inner City Life'.

Flaws:

Watertight today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #39

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

The Adventures Of Stevie V, Dirty Cash (Money Talks)

Today's Transcript:

Goldie is from Wolverhampton, as is Noddy Holder. Noddy the kids' character has a bell on his hat and is friends with Big Ears. Big ears are a characteristic of the African elephant, which tends to have bigger ears than its Indian cousins. Cousins are the first line of family that it's acceptable to marry in rural areas. Areas in terms of geography can be either big or small, and in that respect share something in common with many things, such as shoes and dogs. Dogs need to be walked, and when this is done in urban areas, where there's lots of traffic and pedestrians, they need to be kept on a lead. The plural of 'lead' is 'leads', which are what a detective might have, but Leeds is also the name of a city in West Yorkshire, famous for being the birthplace of stars such as Mel B, Nell McAndrew, Jimmy Saville, Ricky Wilson and Angela Griffin. (Chris in background: "Hello? Hello?") Angela Griffin is to host her own show very soon on Sky. 'Sky' rhymes with 'pie', which can be filled with any kind of filling, from Camembert to venison. 'Venison' begins with the letter 'V', unlike a lot of words, and when you think of the letter 'V' in relation to classic old-school dance tracks, you think of course of The Adventures Of Stevie V, which links to The Adventures Of Stevie V and 'Dirty Cash'.

Flaws:

It's legal for first cousins to marry in any part of the UK, and how acceptable it is in various areas is mere conjecture!

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

(N_Red)