[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Stereo MCs, Connected

Today's Transcript:

One thing is what you're allowed to take on an aircraft in terms of hand baggage, unless it fits in the overhead locker. 'Locker' rhymes with '*', which is a type of spaniel. 'Spaniel' rhymes with 'Daniel', like Daniel Merriweather, who's from Australia. Australia, or more precisely Melbourne, was the setting for the Grand Prix yesterday, which was won by Jensen Button. Jensen Button shares the same initials as Jo Brand, who shares the same surname as fellow comedian Russell Brand, who supports West Ham, who were beaten again at the weekend. The weekend is made up of two days, except when it's a Bank Holiday, or better still when it's Easter, like it is at the end of the week, when we get four days off. Four is also the amount of passengers you can fit inside a standard taxi, and 'taxi' is one of the few words that is understood in pretty much every country in the world, a bit like 'hello'and 'toilet'. Toilets need to be cleaned on a regular basis. 'Regular' is a word that you sometimes see on trousers as an alternative to 'short' or 'long'. Long distance is how you might describe a phonecall between you and a friend in Texas, and if you were to call your friend in Texas the most important thing you would want is to be connected, which links to Stereo MCs and 'Connected'.

Flaws:

Standard UK taxis, aka hackney carriages, all carry at least five passengers, with many models accommodating up to eight people. Dave may have meant minicabs, but he didn't specify. Also, 'toilet' is not a word understood in all countries; depending on the country, there are many alternatives used, such as 'WC' and 'CR'. And obviously many people in the UK don't get four days off over Easter anymore, but Dave may have meant 'we' in the narrower sense of the team, rather than just people in this country.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1992

Highest UK Chart Position - #18

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Doves, Caught By The River

Today's Transcript:

Connected is what you hope you are in terms of your feet and a large strong cord in the sport of bungee jumping. Bungee jumping sometimes happens off a large crane, but it can also take place on a high bridge or similar fixed structure. Bridges and other massive construction projects were the speciality of Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Brunel Raj is the name of Justin Lee Collins' local curry house in Bristol, which, weirdly, is very near the Clifton Suspension Bridge, which was designed by Isambard Kingdom Brunel. Clifton, first name Bernie, did most of his best work with an ostrich, and I think we saw him once trying to get through the turnstiles at an England match while on board his ostrich, four years ago at the World Cup in Germany. Germany is a big producer and consumer of sausage, which must be kind of like their national dish. A dish of a different type is probably how Fearne Cotton would describe Jared Leto from 30 Second To Mars, who she was with at Maida Vale for yesterday's Live Lounge. Lounge is what it's nice to do when you're on holiday, a bit like us next week. Weak of a different type is how I felt over the weekend, thanks to my tummy bug. Bugs and maggots and things are used to catch fish, and if you were a fish you wouldn't want to get caught by the river, which links to Doves and 'Caught By The River'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #29

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Girls Aloud, Love Machine

Today's Transcript:

Doves are a white bird symbolising peace. Piece of a different type are what you have a lot of in a pizza. Pizza is...(Doctor Who trailer interrupts)...and five is the number of members currently in Girls Aloud, which links to Girls Aloud and 'Love Machine'.

Flaws:

Dave read out the following correction from a texter: snakes are not mammals, they are reptiles.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

Listen to the Link:

http://chrismoyles.net/soundvault/soundvault.php?fileid=2495

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

James Brown, Living In America

Today's Transcript:

Girls Aloud's Cheryl Cole is apparently no longer with her estranged husband Ash. Ash is up in the air at the moment, and that's what's causing travel chaos, with people stranded all around the world. 'All Around The World' was a big hit for Oasis in happier times. Oasis are to release a new complete singles collection in June, apparently entitled 'Time Flies'. Time flies when you're having fun, and 'fun' rhymes with 'run', which will be taking place on a massive scale in London on Sunday when it hosts the London Marathon. Marathon is also what they used to call Snickers, whose adverts feature Mr T, who used to be in 'The A-Team'. There's no 'I' in 'team', but there are two other vowels in the shape of 'E' and 'A'. A was the name of the band that contained Radio 1's rock-head Daniel P Carter, who's also on the writing credits for the McFly hit 'Star Girl'. 'Star Girl' is what we play a lot on Fridays. Friday is also the day that Jesus died, and someone else who's famously no longer with us and whose name starts with 'J' is James Brown, which links to James Brown and 'Living In America'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 1986

Highest UK Chart Position - #5

This is Dave's oldest track so far this year, beating his March choice of Prince's 'Alphabet Street' by just over two years.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Sting, Englishman In New York

Today's Transcript:

Living in America is what Chris Moyles is currently doing, as he's stranded in the Big Apple. The plural of 'apple' is 'apples', which grow in orchards, and are a primary ingredient in cider. Cider is popular in the West Country, which is the part of the world that's home to The Wurzels and Justin Lee Collins. Justin Lee Collins has a beard and likes a hug, and is currently hosting his own show on Five, from the Ravioli Ballroom in London. London is the capital of England, and a city that has many world famous landmarks, including Big Ben, Buckingham Palace and the London Dungeons. Dungeons are what they used to lock baddies in in the olden days. 'Days' rhymes with 'bays', which are what a frightened yachtsman might look for if he was stuck at sea in a storm. 'Storm in a teacup' is how you might describe a problem that seems major but actually isn't. Teacups are what you might have to wash after a tea party. A tea party is something you'd associate with the Mad Hatter from 'Alice in Wonderland'. 'Alice In Wonderland' stars Matt Lucas, who plays Tweedledum and Tweedledee, and if Matt Lucas was in New York he'd be referred to as 'an Englishman in New York', which links to Sting and 'Englishman In New York'.

Flaws:

Justin Lee Collins' show is broadcast from the Rivoli Ballroom, not Ravioli.

Tedious Facts:

Released - 1988 (remix released August 1990)

Highest UK Chart Position - #51 (remix #15)

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Ash, Girl From Mars

Today's Transcript:

Sting's daughter is called Coco Sumner, and it's her that features on the new track by Subfocus. Focus is something you do with your eyes, and also something you might have to do manually with a camera. A camera is a key piece of equipment for any decent photographer. The plural of 'photographer' is 'photographers', which are sometimes called paparazzi and like to hunt down celebrities and take their pictures. 'Picture Of You' was a big hit for Boyzone, whose Mikey Graham is one of the celebrities on the current 'Dancing On Ice' tour. If you swap the first letter of 'tour' for a 'P' you get 'pour', which is what you do with a bottle of wine. Wine is made from grapes, which grow in vineyards in places like France, New Zealand and South Africa. South Africa is also the location for this year's World Cup, which kicks off in less than fifty days. Fifty is the score you get in the game of darts if you hit the bullseye. 'Bullseye' is also the name of a telly show from the 80s that was presented by Jim Bowen. 'Bowen' sounds a bit like 'Boeing', which is a type of plane. Plane travel has been massively disrupted lately due to volcanic ash, which links to Ash and 'Girl From Mars'.

Flaws:

Paparazzi is not simply another word for photographers. It refers specifically to photojournalists who specialize in candid photography of celebrities and other prominent people. (Dave's assertion that "a camera is a key piece of equipment for any decent photographer" also made me smile, 'key' being a serious understatement.)

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #11

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Donell Jones featuring Lisa Lefteye Lopes, U Know What's Up

Today's Transcript:

Ash are from Northern Ireland, which is where Radio 1's Big Weekend was held in 2004. 2004 is also the year that the Euros were held in Portugal, which were won by Greece. As well as being a country, 'grease' spelt with an 'A' and a 'C' is also the name of a 1978 film starring John Travolta and Olivia Newton John, which has subsequently been made into a successful musical, which recently starred Ray Quinn. Ray Quinn shares the same surname as Dr Quinn Medicine Woman, who used to make people better and ride a horse. Horse racing is popular around the world, especially in the Far East and Ireland. Ireland is where Graham Norton is from, and he's still searching for Dorothy with Andrew Lloyd Webber. If you swap the last letter of 'Webber' for a 'D' you get 'webbed', as in webbed feet, which are something you'd associate with a duck. 'Duck' rhymes with 'puck', which is what they play with in the sport of ice hockey. Ice hockey is popular in North America and often erupts into a massive punch-up. Punch is something you might find at a party, along with maybe a finger buffet and a DJ. 'DJ' are the initials of Donell Jones, which links to Donell Jones and 'U Know What's Up'.

Flaws:

'Grease' as in the name of the film is of course spelt with an 'S', not a 'C' as Dave stated.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 2000

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Alanis Morissette, Hand In My Pocket

Today's Transcript:

Donell Jones shares the same surname as Tom Jones, who once collaborated with Art of Noise on a cover of 'Kiss' by Prince. Prince Andrew is one of the senior Royals, and the dad of Princess Beatrice, who ran the marathon on Sunday. Sunday is a big day of the week if you're a vicar, unlike Saturdays which are the big one for hairdressers. Hairdressers are often very chatty and interested in your weekend plans and where you've been recently or plan to go in the next twelve months on holiday. 'Holiday' was a big hit for Madonna, who's not married to Guy Ritchie anymore. Guy Ritchie directed 'Lock, Stock..', which starred Vinnie Jones, who got into a scrap with fellow Brit actor Tamer Hussan at the Chateau Marmite hotel in Hollywood. Hollywood has also been in the news this week, as the Hollywood sign was saved from the developers' bulldozer by Hugh Hefner. Hugh Hefner has made a fortune from his magazines, and is considered to be something of a ladies' man in America. If you journey north from America you get to Canada, which is the place that gave us Alanis Morissette, which links to Alanis Morissette and 'Hand In My Pocket'.

Flaws:

Vinnie Jones' brawl was of course at the Chateau Marmont Hotel, not Marmite.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #26

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Daft Punk, Aerodynamic

Today's Transcript:

The plural of 'pocket' is 'pockets', which you get a lot of on a coat, and also on a snooker table. A snooker table is something I bet Steve Davis has in his house, and he is back competing in major competitions, although he got knocked out yesterday. Steve Davis shares the same first name as Steve Martin, the actor who starred in 'Father Of The Bride', 'LA Story' and 'The Man With Two Brains'. Brains is what you might be drinking if you were in a pub in Cardiff. Cardiff is where Huw Stephens is from, and he is like the King of BBC Introducing. Introducing is also the business of a dating agency, where they try to match people up. Up is the opposite of Down, which is a county in Northern Ireland. Northern Ireland is where Snow Patrol are from, and Gary Lightbody from Snow Patrol wrote 'Just Say Yes'and gave it to Diana Vickers, but then took it back because it was too good. Diana Vickers is bringing out her own range of knickers, apparently, although is just currently enjoying the fact that she's Number One. The new Number One this Sunday looks like it might go to Roll Deep. A deep voice is what some Frenchmen have, and Frenchmen is what Daft Punk are, which links to Daft Punk and 'Aerodynamic'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

This track has never been released as a single in the UK, although it did reach #110 in 2000 solely on imports. It's Dave's second non-chart choice this year, following Oasis' 'Acquiesce' in January.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Notorious B.I.G. featuring 112, Mo Money Mo Problems

Today's Transcript:

Aerodynamic is how you might describe a cyclist's helmet, which is designed in such a way as to reduce drag. Drag acts, however, don't wear cycling helmets, but instead like to dress up in ladies' clothes. Ladies' clothes come in different sizes to mens' clothes, whereby instead of having 'small', 'medium' etc, they have numbers, like 12, 14 or 28. If you had the number 28 on your door, the chances are that your next-door neighbours would be 26 and 30. 30 divided by six is five, who were a mid-nineties boyband made up of Jay, Scott, Richie, Abs and the other fella who didn't say much. 'Much' rhymes with 'touch', which is what you shouldn't do to an electric fence or an angry tiger. The plural of 'tiger' is 'tigers', which are in short supply these days due to hunting. 'Hunting' rhymes with 'bunting', which is what some people hang up on the walls in times of celebration. 'Celebration' was a big hit years ago for Kool & The Gang. Kool & The Gang are from America, which is also where Notorious B.I.G, was from, which links to Notorious B.I.G. and 'Mo Money, Mo Problems'.

Flaws:

The fifth member of 5ive was Sean. Dave couldn't remember his name the last time he mentioned 5ive either (in February).

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #6

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Feeder, High

Today's Transcript:

Notorious B.I.G. was big mates with Puff Daddy, who, for a little while at least, was called P Diddy. 'Diddy' rhymes with 'giddy', which is what you'd be if you were lucky enough to win tickets to Radio 1's Big Weekend in Bangor. Bangor is in North Wales, and is going to host the likes of Rihanna, Cheryl Cole and Jason Derulo. Jason Derulo shares the same first name as Jason Donovan, who used to be in 'Neighbours', and was also in the celebrity jungle. The jungle is where you find all sorts of scary stuff like monkeys, lions and spiders. Spiders have eight legs, and I find the best way to catch them is with a pint glass and an unopened phone bill. 'Bill' is an abbreviation of 'William', which is the full name of Will.I.Am from the Black Eyed Peas, who's apparently quite fond of the aforementioned Cheryl cole. Coal is what you dig out of the ground, and people who do this are called coal miners. Minors of a different type are not allowed to see 18 films at the cinema, but these aren't the same people who have dirty faces and torches on their head. Coal mining used to be a major industry in South wales before it's sad decline, and South Wales is where Grant Nicholas from Feeder is from, which links to Feeder and 'High'.

Flaws:

According to wiki, the man formerly known as Puff Daddy is still using the name Diddy.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #24

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Armand van Helden, You Don't Know Me

Today's Transcript:

'Hi' is what you might say to someone you like if they turned up to meet you in a park. Park is what you need to do with your car when you go shopping, and in some places where this can be tricky they operate a park and ride scheme to alleviate town centre congestion. Congestion of a different type is what you might find in your nose if you were suffering from a cold. Coldfingers is a brand new game show format that is available as a telly idea for smart-thinking tv executives. Executives often wear suits to make them look dead important, and also spend lots of time in meetings. 'Meeting' rhymes with 'bleating', which is a noise you'd expect to hear on a hilly sheep farm. Sheep are commonly found in places like New Zealand and Wales, and it's no coincidence that these two countries are both famed for their plentiful, high-quality lamb. Lam, first name Nancy, is a top chef, like Jamie Oliver and Phil Vickery. Phil Vickery is the other half of Fern Britton, and is now doing adverts for a well-known budget supermarket. A supermarket is a good place to go to do a weekly big-shop. If you swap the 'O' in 'shop' for an 'I' you get 'ship', which is what you'd be on if you booked a cruise. Cruise, first name Tom, knows David Beckham and Armand van Helden maybe, which links to Armand van Helden and 'You Don't Know Me'.

Flaws:

Seamless, although I get the feeling Dave just made up that Tom Cruise might know Armand Van Helden just to get to the track he wanted.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Faithless, Insomnia

Today's Transcript:

'If you add the letters 'B' and 'S' to 'Armand' you get 'armbands', which are what young children wear when they go swimming, and these are also known as waterwings. Wings are what birds have, and also what planes have, and one thing that planes have on their wings are flaps. A flap of a different type is what you might have in your back door to let your cat go in and out of the house when it wishes. Wishes are what you shut your eyes and make when you blow out the candles on your birthday cake. 'Cake' rhymes with 'hake', which is a type of fish. Fish is a good source of omega-3, which is good for your brain. If you remove the first letter of 'brain' you get 'rain', which is what we seem to be getting a lot of at the moment during the month of May. 'May the force be with you' is a popular quotation from 'Star Wars', which starred Harrison Ford as Han Solo. 'Solo' rhymes with 'polo', which is one of the few sports you can play whilst on a horse. The plural of 'horse' is 'horses', which is what you see running in the Grand National. 'National Express' was a hit years ago for The Divine Comedy. Comedy is the section you should be looking in if you were after a Peter Kay DVD. A DVD is what you should maybe put on in the middle of the night if you were bored and had insomnia, which links to Faithless and 'Insomnia'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 1995 (re-released October 1996 and September 2005)

Highest UK Chart Position - #27 (#3 and #17 on re-release)

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Kasabian, Processed Beats

Today's Transcript:

Insomnia is what you might be suffering from if you have trouble sleeping. Sleeping Lions is a good game to play at children's parties, especially if you want a break from all the racket. A racquet of a different type is what Andy Murray likes to use when he plays tennis. Tennis is a game that requires at least two participants, and, most crucially, a net. Annette is a ladies' name that begins with the letter 'A', and in that reespect shares something in common with Anna, Andrea, Agnetha and Alexandra. Alexandra Burke won the 'X Factor' the year before last, and one of her greatest moments was the opportunity to perform onstage at the O2 Arena in London with Folkface. Folkface have also been instrumental in the success of JLS, who are currently in New York working on their new album, but will be back next week in time to perform at Radio 1's Big Weekend in Bangor. Bangor is in North Wales, which is a good place to go if you like hill walking. 'Walking' rhymes with 'talking', which is what you have to do a lot of every day in a call centre when you're dealing with customers or maybe making sure that orders are processed. When you think of the word 'processed' in the context of great music you think of 'Processed Beats', which links to Kasabian and 'Processed Beats'.

Flaws:

Seamless once again (although it's not entirely true that Folkface have been "instrumental in the success of JLS"...).

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #17

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Foo Fighters, Learn To Fly

Today's Transcript:

Processed beats shouldn't be mistaken for processed peas, which is something you might buy in a tin. Tin is a metal which used to be mined extensively in places like Devon and Cornwall. Devon and Cornwall are both nice destinations for a mini-break, especially for those who are scared of flying or whose travel has been disrupted by volcanic ash. Ash, first name Leslie, is an actress who's most famous these days for her starring role in 90s series 'Men Behaving Badly' with Martin Clunes and Neil Morrissey. Neil Morrissey is also the man who provides the voice for Bob The Builder, and if you ever say to Bob "can we fix it?", he will always say "yes we can". If you add an additional 'can' to 'can' you get 'can-can', which is a dance popular in France where naughty ladies show their knickers. 'Knickers' rhymes with 'Vickers', as in Diana Vickers, who's performing in London tonight and getting introduced by Dev. 'Dev' rhymes with 'Bev', as in Bev Callard, who plays Liz McDonald in 'Coronation Street'. Liz MacDonald shares the same surname as Ronald McDonald, who likes hamburgers and is from America, and someone else who likes hamburgers I would imagine and is from America is Dave Grohl of the Foo Fighters, which links to Foo Fighters and 'Learn To Fly'.

Flaws:

Dave Grohl doesn't like hamburgers at all, being as he is a vegetarian. Texters also claimed that the surname of Bev Callard's character in 'Coronation Street' is spelled MacDonald and therefore not the same as Ronald's, but the general consensus online is that it is just Mc, and so Dave was correct on this.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #21

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Pink, Get The Party Started

Today's Transcript:

Learn to fly is something that you have to do if you want to become an airline pilot. An airline pilot sits at the front of the plane, next to his co-pilot and navigator, in a little room they call the *. The * is also the name of a live music venue in Leeds. Leads of a different type are what you attach to dogs when you take them for a walk. Walk, first name John, used to play for Ipswich Town and had a moustache. 'Moustache' is a good example of a word that is the same in English and in French, like 'croupier' and 'brie'. Brie is a type of soft cheese that you might enjoy after dinner upon a cracker. The plural of 'cracker' is 'crackers', which are what people traditionally pull at the Christmas dinner table, only to recieve a disappointing plastic toy and a stupid hat that is guaranteed to be ripped off before pudding. If you combine the word 'pudding' with 'toffee' and 'sticky' you get sticky toffee pudding, which is not my favourite pudding, but it's probably in my top five. Five is the amount of fingers and thumbs that you have on your hand...
Chris:What? Fingers and thumbs?
Dave: Oh, you've ruined it now! Back it up, back it up...
(music stops)
Chris: I can't back it up, it's on the cartwall..thing.
Dave: Which links to Pink and 'Get The Party Started'!
Chris: Well how does that work? From thumbs? Oh, I don't want to know...

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

Listen to the Link:

http://chrismoyles.net/soundvault/soundvault.php?fileid=2496

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Black Eyed Peas, Let's Get It Started

Today's Transcript:

Pink was born Alecia Moore, so she actually shares the same surname as Roger Moore, who used to be James Bond. James Bond is Special Agent 007 with a licence to kill. 'Kill Bill' was the title of a film starring Uma Thurman, who's been interviewed by Dominic Byrne. Burn is what you don't want to do with your sausages if you're having a barbecue. A barbecue is something that is weather-dependent, so it's best to do it on a sunny day. 'Sunny' rhymes with 'bunny', which is another word for a rabbit, which can be a pest if you're trying to grow your own carrots. Carrots grow in the ground and apparently help you see in the dark. Dark is a type of chocolate, and dark chocolate contains more cocoa than milk chocolate. Milk comes from cows, and comes out of their udders. If you add an 'R' to 'udder' you get 'rudder', which is what you use to steer a boat. If you're on a boat in the sun you need to make sure you're wearing cream. If you add an 'S' to the front of 'cream' you get 'scream', and scream is what you'd do if you'd just won tickets to Radio 1's Big Weekend and were looking forward to seeing the Black Eyed Peas, and...

Chris: Are they playing the Big Weekend?
Rachel (in background): They're not on!
Chris: Are they? No!
Dave: They're not, are they?
Chris: No!
Dave: Well, but they have been, in the past...
Chris: Where?
Dave: In the past.
Chris: Which one? Which Big Weekend have the Black Eyed Peas been at, Dave?
Dave: That doesn't work at all, does it? D'you know what, anybody would think that was a last minute change.
Aled: Don't you turn this to me.
Chris: It's all your fault!
Dave: Anybody would think that Aled played the Tedious Link at eight o' clock, and therefore we had to do a last-minute change.
Chris: If you add an 'R' to 'udder' you get 'rudder', which is what you use to steer a boat. If you're on a boat in the sun you need to make sure you're wearing cream. If you add an 'S' to the front of 'cream' you get 'scream'. Primal Scream have played the Radio 1 Big Weekend, but do you know who's never played the Big Weekend but ruddy well should? The Black Eyed Peas! Which leads us to...
Aled: They have! I've interviewed them.
Dave: They have played the Big Weekend, yeah!
Chris: Oh, shall we just play it?

(...links to Black Eyed Peas and 'Let's Get It Started'.)

Flaws:

The Black Eyed Peas did in fact perform at Radio 1's Big Weekend in Sunderland, so seamless.

Tedious Facts:

Released - July 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #11

Listen to the Link:

http://chrismoyles.net/soundvault/soundvault.php?fileid=2497

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Keane, Is It Any Wonder

Today's Transcript:

The Black Eyed Peas are currently on tour with Chery Cole, which means that Will.I.Am has got plenty of time to hang out with Girls Aloud star Cheryl. If you combine the word 'star' with 'man' you get 'Starman', which is a group fronted by Andrew Stone from 'Pineapple Dance Studios'. A pineapple is what Calvin Harris wore on his head when he invaded the stage on 'X-Factor', midway through a performance by Jedward. Jedward are an act made up entirely of a set of male twins, and in that respect share much in common with The Proclaimers. The Proclaimers are from Edinburgh in Scotland, and support Hibs, who are delighted to be playing European football next season. 'Season' rhymes with 'treason', which is something you can get hung for, or shot, I think by the Queen. Queen was the name of the band fronted by Freddie Mercury, who's sadly no longer with us, a bit like Henry VIII. Eighth is where Everton finished this season, but if they'd not had their lousy start they'd have been competing for a place in the Champions League. Plaice is a type of fish, and fish is plentiful here in Bangor, as it's by the sea. 'C' is a letter of the alphabet and has a 'K' sound, like Keane, and Keane played Radio 1's Big Weekend a couple of years ago, which links to Keane and 'Is It Any Wonder'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 2006

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Groove Armada, If Everybody Looked The Same

Today's Transcript:

Keen is a word associated with mustard, and mustard is big business in Norwich, which is where Dominic Byrne is from. When Dom wants to relax he goes to the gym to work out, or to enjoy a hot sauna. The plural of 'sauna' is 'saunas', and saunas are what most people have in their home in Sweden. Sweden is where Ulrika Jonsson and Basshunter are from, and Basshunter's real name is Jonas. The Jonas Brothers are no relation to Basshunter, but are related to each other, as they are actual brothers. Brothers in Rhythm were a mid-90s production duo made up of DJs Steve Anderson and Dave Seaman. Dave Seaman isn't the same Dave Seaman who used to play in goal for Arsenal and England before doing 'Dancing On Ice'. 'Ice Ice Baby' was a mega-hit 20 years ago for Vanilla Ice. Ice can be hazardous to drivers and pedestrians in the wintertime, and to combat the slippy effects of ice, councils lay down grit and salt for safety. Safety is paramount, while Paramount is the name of a film company in Hollywood. Hollywood United is the name of the football team run by the likes of Vinnie Jones and other exiled Brits in LA. Los Angeles, like much of America, was first discovered by the Spanish, who had a fleet of boats known as the Armada. when you think of the name Armada in relation to former headliners of Radio 1's Big Weekend, you think of Groove Armada, which links to Groove Armada and 'If Everybody Looked The Same'.

Flaws:

Seamless once again.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #25

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Athlete, You Got The Style

Today's Transcript:

Groove Armada are fronted by an extremely tall man called Andy, who is very talented and plays the trombone, which is unusual in dance music circles. Circles are what you may see in the sand, and also what you might see in cornfields, which are apparently the work of aliens. Aliens come from space, and travel in spaceships that are mostly round. Round is how you might describe a wheel, which is what you have two of on a bike. The plural of 'bike' is 'bikes', which are a popular mode of transport in China and Holland. Holland, first name Matt, used to play for Ipswich Town and the Republic of Ireland. The Republic of Ireland is where Terry Wogan, Graham Norton and Chris' mum are all from. 'From Russia With Love' was the title of an early James Bond film starring Sean Connery. Sean Connery is the father of Jason Connery, who played Robin of Sherwood during the 80s. The 80s is when Calvin Harris and all of us were born, and seems like such a long time ago now. Now is like the present tense of then, and 'then' rhymes with 'Ben', as in Ben Jonson, who despite getting busted for steroids was someone who you'd consider to be a fine athlete, which links to Athlete and 'You Got The Style'.

Flaws:

Another watertight link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 2002

Highest UK Chart Position - #37

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Embrace, Ashes

Today's Transcript:

Style is something that all of us have in abundance, cos we're all like dead fashionable and that. Fashionable is how you might also describe Kate Moss or Agyness Dene. Agyness Dene is mates with Grimmy, who's from Oldham. Oldham play their home matches at Boundary Park, which is somewhere that's always cold. 'Cold' rhymes with 'gold', which is a precious metal that's traded around the world. The world is where we live, on planet Earth, which is one of many planets in the solar system. A system of a different type is what you need in order to successfully complete complex tasks. If you swap the 'A' in 'tasks' for a 'U' you get 'tusks', which are what elephants have, and these are made from ivory. The Ivory Coast is where Didier Drogba is from, and he can speak French. 'French' is a word that often precedes the words 'dressing', 'mustard' and 'kissing', and kissing is what you might do to someone you like or love a lot. Kissing is often accompanied by a bit of a hug or squeeze, which can also be described as an embrace, which links to Embrace and 'Ashes'.

Flaws:

Problem-free today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #11

Dave last linked to this track nine months ago, in August 2009.

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Jamiroquai, Space Cowboy

Today's Transcript:

Ashes are what you'll find at the bottom of your barbecue, and also what you might wish to spread after the cremation of a loved one. Love is a term in tennis, which basically means the same as nil. 'Nil By Mouth' is the title of a film starring Gary Oldman, whose sister, Laila Morse, is best known for playing the character Mo in 'Eastenders'. 'Eastenders' is set in the fictional East London borough of Walford, which has the postcode E20. If you add three to 20 you get 23, which is the amount of players Fabio Cappello has picked for his squad to fly to South Africa for the World Cup finals. World Cup finals are the biggest sporting event in the world and take place every four years. The number four is also the amount of legs found on a standard horse. A horse is what you need to be good at riding if you're a top jockey like Frankie Dettori. Frankie Dettori is Italian and supports Arsenal, which means he shares one thing in common with Tina. Another Tina got through to the finals of 'Britain's Got Talent' last night with her performance dog partner Chandi, who Simon Cowell was very impressed with. Simon Cowell has got a house in America, and America is a country with lots of wide open space, which is where you used to find loads of cowboys, which links to Jamiroquai and 'Space Cowboy'.

Flaws:

Gary Oldman wrote and directed 'Nil By Mouth', but he didn't actually star in it.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #17

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

MC Hammer, U Can't Touch This

Today's Transcript:

Jamiroquai's Jay Kay has a vast collection of hats that he likes to wear on his head. Head is a word that's associated with shoulders, knees and toes. Toes are what normally live in your socks, unless you're wearing flip-flops. 'Flip-flop' rhymes with 'hip-hop', which is a type of music and dance. Music and dance are just two of the areas that Andrew Stone from 'Pineapple Dance Studios' excels in, his other talent being acting, and with all three of these he's a triple threat. A triple threat shouldn't be mistaken for a triple jump, which is an activity that would be classed as track and field in the Olympics. The Olympics are to be held in London in just over two years time, in 2012. 2012 is also the year that Fabio Cappello has extended his England contract to, ending speculation on his immediate future. The future is the opposite of the past, which is what we were trying to explain yesterday when we were doing an exam question on the subject of history. 'History' was the title of an album by Michael Jackson. Michael Jackson used to live in California and wear baggy trousers, and in that respect shares something in common with MC Hammer, which links to MC Hammer and 'U Can't Touch This'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - June 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

Dave last Linked to this track just under six months ago, in November 09.

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Oasis, Live Forever

Today's Transcript:

A hammer is a tool used for inserting nails into stuff like wood. Wood comes from trees, which grow together in what we call a forest. 'Forrest Gump' was the title of a 1994 film starring Tom Hanks, which was set in the American state of Georgia. Georgia is in the Deep South, where they like to eat shrimp. A shrimp is similar to a prawn, which are two things you should avoid if you're allergic to shellfish. The plural of 'shell' is 'shells', which are what children like to look for and collect on the beach. 'Beach' rhymes with 'teach', which is what you need to be good at if you're going to be a teacher. A teacher is someone who takes a lesson and helps you learn the right things so you can pass your exams. Exams are happening at the moment, so for many it's a time of revision. Revision is something that requires a lot of patience and time. According to the well known expression time flies. 'Time Flies' is the title of a singles collection by Oasis which comes out next week, which links to Oasis and 'Live Forever'.

Flaws:

'Forrest Gump' is set partly in Greenbow, Alabama, but Dave was correct in that the story does begin in Georgia.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1994

Highest UK Chart Position - #10

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[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Pink, God Is A DJ

Today's Transcript:

Oasis brothers Noel and Liam have fallen out properly, which means that they don't speak. 'Don't Speak' was the title of a big hit for No Doubt, who are fronted by Gwen Stefani. Gwen Stefani likes to hang around with her Harry Ramsden girls, who represent aspects of her imagination. Imagination is what you need to have if you're going to write books for children. Children are like grown-ups except that they're younger and normally smaller. Smaller is what you might say if you were comparing the height of Warwick Davies with Aled. Warwick Davies and Aled have both done 'Celebrity Scissorhands', and both had the honour of waxing my bottom. Bottom is where you don't want to be on a bunk bed holiday with Rik Waller or in a game of celebrity bundle with Eammon Holmes. Homes of a different type are what Kirstie and Phil likes to find for people. The word 'people' starts with the leter 'P', a bit like 'postman', 'pumpkin', 'penguin' and 'pink'. Pink is the showbiz name of singer Alecia Moore, which links to Pink and 'God Is A DJ'.

Flaws:

Gwen Stefani's sidekicks are of course Harajuku girls, but I suspect Dave knew that already.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #11


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