[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

The La's, There She Goes

Today's Transcript:

George Micahel is of Greek origin, and in that respect shares something in common with Jennifer Aniston. Jennifer Aniston used to go out with Brad Pitt, who starred with Tom Cruise in 'Interview With The Vampire', which also starred Kirsten Dunst, who went out with Razorlight frontman Johnny Borrell. Johnny Borrell is no relation to Paul Burrell, who was Princess Diana's butler and went on to appear in 'I'm A Celebrity Get Me Out Of Here', which started up again last night with Stacey Solomon. Stacey Solomon is from Dagenham in Essex, which is probably best known for its large car assembly plant. A plant of a different type is something that you need to get your neighbour to water if you're going on holiday, otherwise it will most likely die. 'Die Another Day' is the title of a James Bond film. A film is made up of a load of actors, who are normally referred to as the cast. Cast were a Liverpool band in the 90s, and Cast frontman John Power used to play bass in The La's, which links to The La's and 'There She Goes'.

Flaws:

Brad Pitt and Jennifer Aniston were married, not just dating. Also, it's unlikely that Johnny Borrell and Paul Burrell would be related, as their names are spelled differently.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1990

Highest UK Chart Position - #13

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Technotronic featuring Felly, Pump Up The Jam

Today's Transcript:

The La's are from Liverpool, which is where 'X-Factor' hopeful Rebecca Ferguson is from. Rebecca Ferguson shares the same surname as Duncan Ferguson, who's always been a big fan of pigeons. Pigeons are found in most major cities, and like to sit on statues and in squares, waiting for stupid people to feed them. The word 'feed' rhymes with 'lead', which is what you attach to the collar of a dog in order to take it for a walk. 'Walk This Way' was a big hit for Run DMC and Aerosmith, who are a legendary US band whose hits include '(Dude) Looks Like A Lady' and 'Love In An Elevator'. An elevator is just what Americans call a lift, while 'Lift Me Up' was a big hit for former Spice Girl Geri Halliwell. Geri Halliwell was nicknamed Ginger Spice cos of her hair. Hair is what you have to sweep up if you work in a hairdressers or barbers. 'Barber's Adaggio for Strings' was a hit in 1999 for William Orbit, who is a top music producer who's worked with All Saints and Madonna. Madonna is of Italian descent, which is also where Technotronic were from, which links to Technotronic and 'Pump Up The Jam'.

Flaws:

Technotronic were Belgian, not Italian.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1989

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

TLC, Waterfalls

Today's Transcript:

Despite some people thinking they were Italian, Technotronic were from Belgium. Belgium is one of those places not many people know about, as it's not France, Germany or even Holland, but is famous for producing beer and nice chocolate. 'Chocolate' was a big hit for Snow Patrol, who went to university in Dundee. Dundee, first name Mick, was the character played by Paul Hogan in the classic film 'Crocodile Dundee'. Crocodile Dundee was basically just an earlier, more Australian version of Shaun Ryder, who is not a fussy eater. 'Eater is what Sam puts on at night if she's cold in Essex. Essex is a large county with areas of outstanding natural beauty. 'Beauty And The Beast' is the title of a Disney film, and much of the soundtrack was done by Elton John. Elton John likes nice things, like champagne, fine food and luxury holidays, and if Elton John was on holiday in Africa he'd have to look out for waterfalls, which links to TLC and 'Waterfalls'.

Flaws:

Dave seems confused about Belgium, stating in the same sentence that not many people know about it and that it's famous for beer and chocolate.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

Dave last linked to this track nine months ago, in March.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

The White Stripes, Seven Nation Army

Today's Transcript:

Waterfalls tend to be common in places with really large rivers, like Africa and South Africa. South Africa is a massive continent that contains a lot of countries, like Paraguay, Brazil and Argentina. Brazil and Argentina are two nations who have won the World Cup in recent times, unlike England who have only won it once in 1966, and show no signs of winning it again anytime soon based on their performance last week against France. France is a large producer and consumer of cheese, which can be made from the milk of any animal, but the most common are probably cows and goats. 'Goats' rhymes with 'coats', which you would need a lot of if you were moving to Norway. Norway is part of Scandinavia, along with Denmark and Sweden. Sweden is where Ulrika Jonsson is from, and she's a weather expert, a bit like Dominic Byrne. Dominic Byrne shares the same surname as Mary Byrne, who's one of the remaining contestants on 'X-Factor' and has a very good voice. Someone else who has a good voice is Jack White from The White Stripes, which links to The White Stripes and 'Seven Nation Army'.

Flaws:

Seamless, although I'm not sure that cheese can really be made from the milk of any animal.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #7

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Jay-Z, 99 Problems

Today's Transcript:

White stripes are what they paint on the road to let drivers know which side to stay on, and these are normally punctuated with cats' eyes, which illuminate the road in the darkness. The Darkness were a short-lived musical phenomenon from Lowestoft in Suffolk. Suffolk is famous for its pigs, and in that respect shares something in common with Tamworth. Tamworth is somewhere that you can go skiing, a bit like Switzerland, but less mountainous and more indoorsy. Indoors is where you want to be when it's cold, unless of course you're a robin, when it's a nice time for you to be out looking for berries. 'Berries' rhymes with 'ferries', which operate across the Channel, linking Portsmouth with Cherborge. If you remove the last five letters of 'Cherborge' you're left with 'Cher', who survived the judges' vote on Sunday at the expense of Paige. The plural of 'page' is 'pages', which you find a lot of in a book. A book is what you might end up reading if you're an ice-cream man on a very quiet day. If you were an ice-cream man and you'd run out of cornets, crushed nuts and red sauce you'd have real problems making a 99, which links to Jay-Z and '99 Problems'.

Flaws:

Seamless today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 2004

Highest UK Chart Position - #12

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

The Smiths, Bigmouth Strikes Again

Today's Transcript:

99 problems would probably be a good thing if you'd started the day with 106 problems and managed to cross seven things off your list. List is what happens to a boat if it leans to the side. A side is what you might find on an American menu, like fries or coleslaw. Coleslaw shouldn't be mistaken for Culshaw, as in Jon Culshaw, who's a brilliant impressionist and has a new series with Debra Stephenson. Debra Stephenson used to be in 'Corrie' and played the other half of Bradley Walsh. Bradley Walsh shares the same surname as Kimberley Walsh, who's in Girls Aloud and is from Bradford. Bradford City FC play their home matches at Valley Parade. A parade is what you'd be witnessing if you stood by the side of the road with performers going by on top of floats. In the world of nautical engineering, 'floats' is the opposite of 'sinks'. Sinks are made by craftsmen, and in the olden days crafstmen were called smiths, which links to The Smiths and 'Bigmouth Strikes Again'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report.

Tedious Facts:

Released - May 1986

Highest UK Chart Position - #26

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Fatboy Slim, Praise You

Today's Transcript:

The Smiths were fronted by Morrissey, who shares one name in common with Neil Morrissey, who used to be in 'Men Behaving Badly' and is also one of the voices on 'Bob The Builder'. If Bob The Builder's around people tend to ask "can you fix it?" and the answer is always "yes we can". 'Yes' in French is 'merci', which was the name of a record by Duffy. If you swap the first letter of 'Duffy' for a 'B' you get 'Buffy', who was famous for being a slayer of vampires. Vampires like to drink blood, which is rich in iron. Iron is a metal that is mined and is used to make steel, which is used in the construction of all sorts of things, from ships to knives and forks. Along with spoons, knives and forks are known as cutlery, which is often with crockery in the home section of a large department store. If you worked in a department store and had a really good month you'd hope that your boss would praise you, which links to Fatboy Slim and 'Praise You'.

Flaws:

'Yes' in French isn't 'merci', it's 'oui' - 'merci' is 'thankyou'.

Tedious Facts:

Released - January 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Kula Shaker, Hey Dude

Today's Transcript:

Praise is what you'd like to receive if you've done a job well, while a well is something in the ground that hopefully contains water. Water is essential for just about all forms of life, escept certain desert things like cacti and other really dry bits and bobs. Bobs is what a small boat does on a stormy sea. Sea and sun are two 'S' words that most people like to have on holiday. The word 'holiday' is what the Americans call a vacation, cos when they say holidays they actually mean Christmas. Christmas, first name Lloyd, is the character played by Jim Carrey in the film 'Dumb & Dumber'. If you swap the first letter of 'Dumber' for an 'H' you get 'Humber', which is a large river that meets the North Sea at Kingston upon Hull. Hull is situated at one end of the M62, while Liverpool is at the other. The plural of 'other' is 'others', who were the weird people in the show 'Lost'. Lostprophets are from Wales, which had record lows temperature-wise over the weekend. If you were in Wales over the weekend you'd be officially cooler than everyone else and the temperatures would leave you shaking, which links to Kula Shaker and 'Hey Dude'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1996

Highest UK Chart Position - #2

Dave last linked to this track eight months ago in March.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Hole, Celebrity Skin

Today's Transcript:

"Hey dude" is a popular greeting if you're a member of the surfing community or our executive producer Piers. Our Piers shares the same first name as Pierce Brosnan, who's Irish and a former James Bond. The plural of 'bond' is 'bonds', as in Premium Bonds, which some people have as an investment. Other investments might be property, shares or works of art. Art was what Leonardo da Vinci was good at, and he painted the ceiling in the Sistine Chapel. 'Chapel' rhymes with 'apple', which is what Sir Isaac Newton threw in the air to test his theory of relativity and gravity. 'Gravity' was a hit for Embrace. but was actually written by Chris Martin of Coldplay. 'Cold play' is how you might describe sledging, which some people will be able to do later today, especially in Easterly parts of the country. The country is the opposite of the city in terms of rural and urban living. 'Living On A Prayer' was a hit for Bon Jovi, who are from America like Courtney Love, which links to Hole and 'Celebrity Skin'.

Flaws:

Newton didn't invent the theory of relativity, that was Einstein.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #19

Dave last linked to this track almost 18 months ago, in July 2009.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Faithless, God Is A DJ

Today's Transcript:

Celebrity skin is a strange thing to collect, even if you're a dermatologist to the stars. Stars are what you see if you get punched really hard or if you look up into the sky when it's dark. 'Dark' rhymes with 'park', which are good places to walk your dog or maybe go for a jog. People who jog are called joggers and tend to wear shorts, trainers and other athletic leisurewear. 'Where Is The Love' was a big hit for Black Eyed Peas, who are currently in the charts with 'Time of My Life (Dirty Bit)', based on a classic song from the movie 'Dirty Dancing'. 'Dancing With The Stars' is the American version of 'Strictly Come Dancing', which is hosted by Bruce Forsyth and Tess Daly. Daily is when most shops have their bread and milk delivered, in order to make sure that it's fresh. Other things that you like to have fresh are fish in a restaurant, sheets in a hotel room and towels. A hotel is a good place to stay if you're nowhere near where you live, but might be lonely if you suffer from insomnia. 'Insomnia' was a big hit for Faithless, which links to Faithless and 'God Is A DJ'.

Flaws:

You don't always see stars when it's dark - it has to be clear too.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #6

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

5ive, Keep On Movin'

Today's Transcript:

'God Is A DJ' was also the title of a big hit for Pink, which scored a top chart position of number eleven. Eleven is a prime number, which means it's only divisible by itself and one. 'One' was a hit for U2, who consist of four members, a bit like Take That before Robbie came back. 'Come Back Around' was a big hit for Feeder, whose lead singer Grant Nicholas is from Newport, where we did the show recently with special guest Charlotte Church. charlotte Church was one of the judging panel who were looking for Dorothy with Andrew Lloyd Webber. If you swap the last letter of 'Webber' for a 'D' you get 'webbed', which is how you might describe the feet of a duck. Duck feet are eaten by the Chinese, although not something I'd fancy. 'Fancy' rhymes with 'Nancy', as in Nancy Dell'Olio who was the other half of Sven Goran Eriksson, who's now manager of Leicester City, who've drawn Manchester City in the third round of the cup in January. January is the first month of the year, and a time when a lot of people attempt to get fit or detox, and if you were to add up all the letters in the word 'detox' you'd get five, which links to 5ive and 'Keep On Movin''.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

Dave last linked to this track in April 2009.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

James, Born Of Frustration

Today's Transcript:

Keep on movin' is what you'd have to do if you were on the run from the police. The Police is the name of the band that had Sting as their lead singer. Sting is what wasps and bees do, and they tend to be more commonly found in the summer months, when we like to eat outdoors in beer gardens. Gardens of a different type are the passion of Alan Titchmarsh, who shares the same first name as Alan Shearer, whose Newcastle United yesterday sacked their manager Chris Hughton even though he was doing a great job. 'Great job' is the sort of thing that somebody might say to you in America just before they high-fived you. High-fives are also a popular form of bonding in basketball, which tends to be easier if you're over seven feet tall. 'Tall' rhymes with 'small', and small is how a chihuahua would look if it were stood next to a St Bernard. Bernard Sumner was in Joy Division and New order. New order is what a waiter might have to take if everybody on the table changed their mind, and if you were the waiter you'd probably get annoyed which would be borne of frustration, which links to James and 'Born Of Frustration'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1992

Highest UK Chart Position - #13

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Wildchild, Renegade Master

Today's Transcript:

Frustration might be what you're feeling if you're late for an important appointment and stuck in awful traffic. 'Traffic' is a song by the Stereophonics taken from their album 'Word Gets Around'. Around is the direction of travel when negotiating a roundabout. The plural of 'roundabout' is 'roundabouts', which are commonplace in new towns like Milton Keynes but rare in America. America is where Johnny Depp is from, and his other half is Vanessa Paradis, who's French. French, first name Dawn, is the comedy partner of Jennifer Saunders and the former life partner of Lenny Henry, who spends a lot ofd time staying in hotels with big comfy beds and rubber ducks in the bathroom. The bathroom is somewhere you'd spend a lot of time if you work as a plumber. A good plumber is hard to find, as are truffles if you're Gordon Ramsay. Gordon Ramsay is a cookery master, and if you were a master in the kitchen but also a bit of a renegade, people might refer to you as a 'renegade master', which links to Wildchild and 'Renegade Master'.

Flaws:

Watertight today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - October 1995

Highest UK Chart Position - #11

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Aerosmith, I Don't Want To Miss A Thing

Today's Transcript:

'Renegade Master' was remixed by Norman Cook, who was in the Housemartins with Paul Heaton of The Beautiful South. South is one of the four directional options on a compass, with the others being North, East and West. West, first name Adam, was the real name of Batman before he became a superhero. 'Hero' was a hit for Enrique Iglesias, who speaks Spanish. The Spanish are big fans of omelettes, which they like to eat for lunch and tea as well as breakfast. Breakfast in French is 'petit dejeuner', which literally translated means 'small lunch'. 'Lunch' and 'box' are two words that you'd associate with Linford Christie, who's just returned from Australia after being in 'I'm A Celebrity' with Stacey Solomon. Stacey Solomon is from Dagenham in Essex, which is also where Terry Venables is from. Terry Venables' management CV includes Middlesborough, Barcelona and even Leeds United. If you were watching Leeds and somebody really tall kept standing up in front of you you'd probably say something like "please sit down cos I don't want to miss a thing", which links to Aerosmith and 'I Don't Want To Miss A Thing'.

Flaws:

Batman's real name is Bruce Wayne - Adam West is the actor who played him in the 1960s TV series.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1998

Highest UK Chart Position - #4

Dave last linked to this track in March 2009 - the first link I ever transcribed!

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

New Order, Blue Monday

Today's Transcript:

Aerosmith have been a hard-living rock 'n' roll band, and Steve Tyler and Joe Perry from the band used to be known as the Toxic Twins. Twins is how you would describe Jedward, who in their own way are a bit toxic. Toxic waste is something that nobody wants dumped near them, which is why it's sometimes transported overseas on large ships. Ships are what you get a lot of on the Suez Canal and also the Manchester Ship Canal. Kanal+ isn't actually a canal but a television channel made in France. France is where Thierry Henry and David Ginola are from, who were both regarded as being football pin-ups in their day. The plural of 'day' is 'days', and if you were to ask me what day it was today I'd say Monday. Monday is the first day of the working week, and it's our Chris Moyles Show team Christmas lunch, which means it's a fun day. If it was a normal Monday we might be feeling a bit sad and blue, and if we felt blue on a Monday we'd describe it as a 'blue Monday', which links to New Order and 'Blue Monday'.

Flaws:

Problem-free today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - March 1983

Highest UK Chart Position - #12

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Third Eye Blind, Semi-Charmed Life

Today's Transcript:

A new order is what you'd have to give to the waiter if you found out that they'd run out of the dish you wanted. Wanted might describe a baddie who was on the run from the cops. "Call the cops" is kind of a catchphrase of Shaun Ryder's. Riders is one way of describing a collective of jockeys. Jockeys tend to be very small and look a bit like children with a grown-up face. Face was the name of one of the characters in 'The A-Team', who was played in the original series by Dirk Benedict, who was also in 'Celebrity Big Brother' a couple of years ago. 'Ago' is an anagram of 'Goa', which is a place in India that is popular with hippies. Hippies tend to have long hair and are fond of peace. Piece of a different type is a common way of dividing a cake. Cake is a popular dessert option around the world, from Solihull to San Francisco. San Francisco is from Third Eye Blind are from, which links to Third Eye Blind and 'Semi-Charmed Life'.

Flaws:

Once again seamless.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #37

Dave last linked to this track in February.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Young Disciples, Apparently Nothin'

Today's Transcript:

'Semi-Charmed Life' was released in 1997, the same year that Hong Kong was handed over to the Chinese after it was leased to Great Britain for 99 years. 99 is a type of ice-cream and also the number of problems that Jay-Z has. Jay-Z is the other half of Beyonce Knowles, whose dad Matthew is her manager and also used to manage Destiny's Child. 'Child' was the title of a solo single by Mark Owen, taken from his album 'The Green Man'. The Green Man is the name of two different pubs near work. Work is what people have to do in order to earn a living, which at this time of year mostly gets spent on Christmas presents. Presents in the form of gold, frankincense and myrrh are what the three wise men brought to a stable in Bethlehem to celebrate the birth of Jesus. Jesus was the son of Mary and Joseph and grew up to be the son of God, and had lots of followers known as disciples. Some of Jesus' disciples must have been young, which links to Young Disciples and 'Apparently Nothin''.

Flaws:

Jesus was born the son of God - he wasn't Joseph's biological son.

Tedious Facts:

Released - August 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #13

Like yesterday, Dave last linked to this track in February.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

No Doubt, Don't Speak

Today's Transcript:

Apparently Nothin' features the vocals of Carleen Anderson, who shares the same surname as Pamela Anderson, who's appearing in panto with Les Dennis. Les Dennis used to do 'Family Fortunes' and also had a cameo in 'Extras'. Extras is what they call people in film and TV who have a non-speaking role in the background. Background is the opposite of foreground in the world of pictures. Pictures are something that you have taken all the time if you're a supermodel like Kate Moss. Moss is something that you might find on a moist rock that would make it slippy. If you combine the word 'slippy' with 'born' you get 'Born Slippy', which was a hit for Underworld. Underworld is the name of the knicker factory in 'Coronation Street', which has had a dramatic storyline involving a tram crash. If you were hit by a tram, people around you would probably tell you to keep calm and don't speak, which links to No Doubt and 'Don't Speak'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report today.

Tedious Facts:

Released - February 1997

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Perry Como and the Fontane Sisters, It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas

Today's Transcript:

Don't speak is probably what you'd have to say if you shared a flat with Miley Cyrus. If you add a 'P' to 'Cyrus' you get Cyprus, which is a large island in the Mediterranean that has been the subject of squabbling between the Greeks and the Turks, which is one of the reasons why Turkey and Greece never vote for each other in Eurovision. Eurovision demonstrates how different we are from the rest of Europe. Europe is made up of many countries, and many countries are represented at the Olympics, with the next one being held in just over 18 months' time in London. London saw lots of snowfall this weekend as the conditions turned blizzardous. Blizzards shouldn't be mistaken for lizards, which are slimy green things that lie on rocks. 'Rocks' was a big hit for Primal Scream, who are fronted by Bobby Gillespie, who I would imagine is good fun at Christmas. As we get closer to Christmas it's noticeable that people have trees and decorations up, which links to Perry Como and 'It's Beginning To Look A Lot Like Christmas'.

Flaws:

Apparently lizards are not slimy, but have dry skin.

Tedious Facts:

This song was released in 1951, before there was a pop chart in this country. It's also Dave's oldest ever Tedious choice that we have archived here at chrismoyles.net (bearing in mind we have no records of 2007 or 2008). Previously this record was held by another Christmas track, Bing Crosby's 1952 recording of 'Silent Night', which Dave linked to in December 2005.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Frank Sinatra, Let It Snow Let It Snow Let It Snow

Today's Transcript:

Como is the name of a lake in Northern Italy, where George Clooney has a house. George Clooney is a heart-throb and has starred in all the 'Ocean's' films alongside Brad Pitt. The plural of 'pit' is 'pits', which were prevalent across Yorkshire in the heyday of coal mining, 'Coal mining' rhymes with 'soul mining', which is the title of an album by The The, the follow-up to which was titled 'Infected'. Infected is what a lot of us are at the moment with the lurgy that's going around. 'Around The World In 80 Days' is the title of a classic book by Jules Verne. Jules Verne shares one name in common with Verne Troyer, who played Mini-Me in the Austin Powers films. Austin Powers was played by Mike Myers, who was born in Canada but whose roots trace back to Liverpool. The original football club in Liverpool are Everton, who last night scored three points against Man City, who probably now wish the game had been called off. If their stars could turn back the clock they'd probably say "let it snow", which links to Frank Sinatra and 'Let It Snow'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

This song has never been in the UK chart, and although it beats yesterday's Perry Como track as the oldest song ever chosen for the Tedious (written in 1945), Sinatra didn't record this version til later in the 50s.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Nat King Cole, The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting On An Open Fire)

Today's Transcript:

Snow is something that's causing traffic chaos for many and is becoming something of a nuisance. 'Nuisance' begins with the letter 'N', as does 'napkin', which is something you wipe your hands and mouth on after a meal. If 'meal' began with an 'N' it would be 'Neil', as in Neil Morrissey, who is the voice of Bob The Builder. Builders like to drink tea when they're not building stuff. 'Stuff' rhymes with 'tough', which is how you don't want your steak. If you remove the first letter of 'steak' you're left with 'teak', which is a hard wood good for making furniture. Furniture can be transported using a van. Van Gogh was a famous painter who only had one ear, which made it difficult for him to wear glasses. Glasses in a pub are normally placed on a beermat. If you replace the 'M' in 'mat' with an 'N' you get 'Nat', and Nat King Cole is a name synonymous with Christmas music, which links to Nat King Cole and 'The Christmas Song'.

Flaws:

Van Gogh did have two ears, and only severed the lower half of his left one, although recent investigations have suggested that he lost it in a fight rather than cut it off himself.

Tedious Facts:

This is another song that's never been in the UK chart, and supplants Monday's Perry Como track as the oldest song ever chosen for the Tedious that we're aware of, having been written in 1944 and recorded by Cole in 1946.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

The Wonderstuff, The Size Of A Cow

Today's Transcript:

Nat King Cole shares the same surname as Cheryl Cole, who used to be married to Ashley Cole, who plays football for Chelsea. Chelsea is the name of the daughter of Bill Clinton, who was President before George W Bush. If you had two birds in your bush, it would be the equivalent of having one in your hand. The Hand of God is a way to describe a goal by Diego Maradona. If you got rid of the 'RA' from 'Maradona' and add another 'N' you get Madonna, who's had lots of hits including 'Ray of Light' and 'Frozen'. Frozen is what water needs to be to turn to ice. Ice-skating sometimes involves the wearing of tight silly-looking costumes. Costumes are what people dress up in at Halloween, which is a time for witches and scary ghosts. Scary ghosts shouldn't be mistaken for scary goats, which can butt you with their horns in places like the Lake District. The Lake District gets a lot of rain according to Dominic Byrne, who can predict the seasons like our very own weathercock. '*' rhymes with 'sock', which you wear on the foot. A foot is also an imperial unit of measurement. Measurement is what you need to do if you're a tailor. Taylor Swift is from America, where they eat a lot of steaks, and sometimes if you order a steak it's the size of a cow, which links to The Wonderstuff and 'The Size Of A Cow'.

Flaws:

Seamless link.

Tedious Facts:

Released - April 1991

Highest UK Chart Position - #5

Dave last linked to this track back in April 2004.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Outkast, Hey Ya

Today's Transcript:

The size of a cow is probably about the same as that of a very fat horse or six St Bernard dogs all stacked up on top of each other. 'Other' rhymes with 'brother', who used to sponsor Man City, the team of choice for Noel and Liam Gallagher. Liam Galagher's new band consists of everyone who used to be in Oasis except Noel. 'Noel' is an anagram of 'Leon', as in Leon Osmond but not Lyon in France, which is spelled with a 'Y'. 'Why Does My Heart Feel So Bad' was a big hit for Moby, who got his name as his great-grandfather or uncle or someone wrote 'Moby Dick'. 'Moby Dick' was a story about a massive whale. Whales are mammals which breathe through blow-holes. Holes of a different type are what you find a lot of on a golf course, and one of the most famous golf courses in the world is Augusta, which is in Georgia. Georgia is an American state that is home to REM, the B-52s and Outkast, which links to Outkast and 'Hey Ya'.

Flaws:

Dave had his animal sizing wrong today - an average cow weighs about 1000lbs, whereas a horse weighs slightly more at about 1100lbs (obviousy dependent on breed), so a very fat horse would be much bigger than a cow. A St Bernard dog however is between 110 and 200lbs, so six of them could be roughly the size of a cow, although possibly more. This is of course assuming Dave was referring to weight rather than dimension...

Tedious Facts:

Released - November 2003

Highest UK Chart Position - #3

Dave last linked to this track ten months ago in March 2010.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

The Shamen, Ebeneezer Goode

Today's Transcript:

Outkast are fronted by Andre 3000, who shares one name in common with Peter Andre, who's from Australia, like Kylie Minogue. Kylie Minogue is very small, and sometimes has difficulty going on the big rides at Alton Towers. 'Towers' rhymes with 'showers', which are what much of the UK has woken up to this morning, as the weather is extremely wet. wet Wet Wet were fronted by Marti Pellow and had many hits, with their biggest one being 'Love Is All Around', taken from the soundtrack to the film 'Four Weddings And A Funeral'. Funeral For A Friend are a band from Wales, which is where Sian Lloyd and Cerys Matthews are from. Matthew is the name of one of the characters in the Bible, along with Moses and of course John. 'John' rhymes with 'Ron', as in Ron Atkinson, who used to manage Manchester United and Aston Villa amongst others. If you add an 'M' to 'others' you get 'mothers', which are what you'd find a lot of in a maternity ward. Maternity wards are commonplace in most hospitals whether in France or Scotland, and Scotland is where The Shamen are from, which links to The Shamen and 'Ebeneezer Goode'.

Flaws:

It's arguable that 'most' hospitals contain a maternity ward, but otherwise problem-free.

Tedious Facts:

Released - September 1989

Highest UK Chart Position - #1

Dave last linked to this track just over a year ago, in November 2009.

(N_Red)

[Nicola_Red]

Today's Tedious Link:

Len, Steal My Sunshine

Today's Transcript:

If you remove the first two letters of 'Shamen' you get 'amen', which is something you hear a lot in church. 'Church' rhymes with 'perch', which is somewhere a bird would sit. 'Sit Down' was a hit for James, whose lead singer is called Tim Booth. A booth is something you might find in a restaurant and also where you might find the DJ in a club. 'club Tropicana' is something that Wham sang about years ago and is where the drinks are free. Free is what animals wish they were if they're in captivity somewhere like Knowsley Safari Park. Park Ji-Sung plays football for Man United and South Korea. Career of a different type is what you hope to have when you leave school or college. 'College' rhymes with 'knowledge', which is what you acquire a lot of if you read books. If you don't want to buy a book you could always ask your mate to lend it to you, and if you remove the last letter of 'lend' you get 'Len', which links to Len and 'Steal My Sunshine'.

Flaws:

Nothing to report.

Tedious Facts:

Released - December 1999

Highest UK Chart Position - #8

Dave is a big fan of this track, and has previously linked to it in December 2004, June 2006 and January 2010.

(N_Red)