[chrysostom]

in which case...

It's my birthday in a few weeks and I'm going to bring in a box of celebrations or something to let people pick at, but I don't know if I'd necessarily want a 'collection' (as I don't really feel that I warrant it from my colleagues) or people to sing Happy Birthday to me (as I find the whole singing thing cringey. Twice I've been to TGI Friday's and been forced to stand on the chair as the staff sang to me, luckily I was very drunk so didn't mind).

We went for a birthday lunch for one of our team, and I enjoyed that as it wasn't a case of focusing on her - just the team (of 7-8) getting together and having a nice break in the day.

also:

I might go for a cheeky merge, yeah.

I've never heard it called that before.

[bmstinton93]

You really didn't need to quote yourself there. Nicola already merged it.

[chrysostom]

Oh, sorry - as it was on the previous page I thought quoting it would save people having to go back on a 4 year old thread. My mistake.

[Yudster]

Here, one of the staff takes it upon herself to find out when everyone's birthday is and makes a note. She then gets a card (no collections thankfully) and sends it round the office so that everyone can sign it. Up to this point, I think its a fine plan - except that the card is then given to the Chief Exec, everyone is summoned to gather around and the person who's birthday it is is ritually humiliated (and not ONE person in the office has ever admited enjoying this process) by having it publicly and loudly presented in a big show of false sentiment. The person with the birthday is also expected to provide cake or other appropriate goodies.

Now this was a problem for me when I arrived here as my birthday is, for a couple of reasons, not a time which I want to be acknowledged and certainly not a time which I wish to celebrate or pretend to feel happy about - so when I was asked when my birthday was, I explained that I would prefer not to say. This was not accepted and I was continually harrassed for the information. Finally someone must have looked at my personal file because the date appeared flagged on our internal calendar. I had to go through the HR manager to ensure that my wishes were respected in the end, which I think is absolutely appalling.

Even without my specific reasons for not wanting to be picked on on my birthday, I don't think that my birthday is of any interest or importance to anyone else. I bring cakes and goodies in on the anniversary of my starting with the organisation - to me this makes far more sense and it is something that actually has a significance within the office.

[Travis Bickle]

Only one person who I work knows my birthday and she wishes me Many Happy Returns on the day. Other than that it is nobody else's business when my birthday is so I don't tell anyone. If ever anyone else found out when it it was and tried to make a big deal about I would make it perfectly clear that I am not interested.

That is unlikely ever to be a problem though, as I make it abundantly clear with the way I conduct myself at work that work is work and private is private. Very few people attempt to cross those boundaries with me, but it is a department where everyone tends to keep themselves to themselves anyway and there are only a few cliques of people who are mates with each other anyway.

[Yudster]

Well think yourself lucky. The whole performance here is an accepted and almost official part of our working practice. I remember once I was really busy and didn't go round with the crowd to stare at someone being given their birthday card and I got told off for getting on with my work rather than joining in. Its a load of bollocks really.

[Nicola_Red]

Actually since I started this thread a few years ago the collections thing has pretty much died off in our office. My manager split up with her fiance and just dropped a lot of the 'extra' stuff she did around the office, including that. As I mentioned in another thread, all contracted staff get their birthday off, but I'm sure if I really didn't want people to know when it was I'd be able to talk to her and she'd take it off the rota. I'm not massively bothered though. I don't love my birthday, but I don't have any real reason for wanting it kept a secret.

[Bruvva]

Just cards and cake here - the person whose birthday it is brings in cake. That's about it.

A previous job of mine had people do a collection so a present could be bought for the person whose birthday it was. This practice was officially stopped just BEFORE MY BIRTHDAY SO I'D SPENT A FORTUNE ON OTHER PEOPLE'S PRESENTS BUT DIDN'T GET ONE. Not that I'm bitter.

[Yudster]

I did feel bad about the no birthday thing from the point of view of not bringing cake - so I just switched it to my start date, so I provide cake as well as enjoying other people's. I'm glad we don't do collections though, at least I don't have to explain why I'm not contributing. Because I wouldn't. Contribute that is.

[Boboff]

Yuds, why not just tell them the day you started is your birthday? Surely that would mean that you wouldn't have to explain why your real birthday is understandably a day you wish to remember for different reasons, and none that involve cakes. Just a thought, it would mean not having to rake up all your stuff, or having to feel in some way that youre being treated differently?

I don't envy any of you the Office / work place politics shit, does your head in.

[Yudster]

Well beyond the associations with the day itself, I don't want to be publicly and embarrassingly presented with a birthday card with the whole office staring at me for one.

[English Bob]

I know that someone on the team only gives £2 everytime and most give £5. When it was her Birthday we all gave £2 and she had a crap present, it was great

Wow, what if this person was in Nic's situation, and couldn't afford to give much? You sound like a lovely bunch of people in your office...

As for my office, unless it's a big birthday, or one of the people who have been working there for a long time, there's no collection. There does seem to be the culture of bringing in cakes for everyone on YOUR birthday, which I never understand! If it's your birthday, people should bring YOU cakes!

[dimtimjim]

I'm in the 'balls to them' court. These are people I associate with through necessity, not choice. The few here who I do hold in high enough vlaue, sure I'll sling a few £'s in to a B-Day collection, but most can go jump. *ers.

[chrysostom]

Ah, the life of a contractor!

[dimtimjim]

Contractor or full timer, still balls to 'em.

In office with over 70 people, £5 each time one of the gits gets a year older. You do the math, but its more than I can squeeze outa my £**,000 per year.

I'd rather spend the £350 coming to meet you 'orrible lot.

[Yudster]

I agree with Tim, except I wouldn't spend money on a meet up for here either.

[Johnny 1989]

Yeah i'm never quite sure how to take leaving presents. On one hand it could be seen as they liked you and on the other they could be pleased to see the back of you.

I like to keep thinking it's the former...

In our place it's normally the former, every time we do a collection it's because we like the person who had left, the only exception been one bloke who was a disgusting creature (I won't explain as to why) and only got £3.50 in his collection, suffice to say he left empty handed.

[Johnny 1989]

Actually since I started this thread a few years ago the collections thing has pretty much died off in our office. My manager split up with her fiance and just dropped a lot of the 'extra' stuff she did around the office, including that. As I mentioned in another thread, all contracted staff get their birthday off, but I'm sure if I really didn't want people to know when it was I'd be able to talk to her and she'd take it off the rota. I'm not massively bothered though. I don't love my birthday, but I don't have any real reason for wanting it kept a secret.

We did them quite regularly in our place but as our office has been cut down so much (about 150 office based staff back in 2002, by the end of March with four more to go there will be 14) we don't bother, I buy a present for my friend there & she does the same for me (although 3-4 girls give presents to each other on their birthdays) & we have done them for the last few pregnancies but other than that we don't do them any more just because we can hardly raise enough money to get anything decent now, except for as I say if some one goes on maternity leave.

I do actually, come Easter & Christmas, bring in chocolates or nice biscuits in for the girls in the office, just as a nice gesture to them or the spirit of the occasion, I never have done it to expect anything back & to be honest only my friend mentioned above buys me something back but I never expect anything off them at all.

[Bonanzoid]

How do you remember all these topics Nic? I mean, it was over 3 years ago!

[Boboff]

And why is this thread looking more like a script for Ricky Gervais?

[Nicola_Red]

How do you remember all these topics Nic? I mean, it was over 3 years ago!

I dunno. Just do. It's the same reason I always get the Golden Hour right - I just remember this stuff.