[chrysostom]

(just to clarify, I was being flippant. while it wouldn't be a sackable offence - browsing a young girl's facebook profile at work would probably be frowned upon. not to mention add substance to the rumours circulating about me.)

*just to clarify further, there are no rumours circulating about me of that nature. that i know of*

[dimtimjim]

I was being flippant.

Wow. I used to love that show...

Where'dya get your dolphin outfit, Andy?!

[chrysostom]

In essence, it's a combination of a blue morph suit and a coke bottle with string attached.

[Yudster]

Ben - all I can say is good luck. It might get complicated if the father is a dick (and it sounds like he is) and that could cause problems for both of you, but life IS difficult and anyone who tells you otherwise is talking crap. All I will say is be brave, keep talking to each other, don't keep stuff to yourself because if you don't talk about it you won't be able to tackle it and above all, don't be afraid to ask for help, either of you. From anyone you think might be able to give it, or point you in the direction of it. Anyone at all.

All the very best to you.

[bmstinton93]

Thanks Yuds.

And update on the dad situation, she told me yesterday that since they met up last week he hasn't spoken to her and he hasn't even told his mum so she is now pretty sure she's gonna just try and keep him out her life and not put him on the birth certificate even. I can't see him arguing it myself.

[Yudster]

It would keep things simpler (and possibly be preferable if he's a bit of a loser) but you never know how people are going to react in the future. I hope it stays simple anyway. Either way, just keep putting one foot in front of the other and you'll get where you're going eventually.

[Nicola_Red]

I think a child should be able to find out who their parent was if they want to, even if that parent was a deadbeat who wanted nothing to do with them. Leaving the information off the birth certificate makes that extremely dificult. After all, even the children of egg and sperm donors have access to that information when they turn 18. There are people who are haunted their whole adult lives by the fact that they'll never know who one of their parents was. Not to mention the possibility of it being important if genetic conditions or diseases are ever a factor in the child's life, and providing family tree links. My mum's mum's father was not named on her birth certificate, and it has had a big impact on a lot of the family.

[bmstinton93]

Oh don't worry we know all that but essentially we can worry about all that at a later date.

[Yudster]

I agree - if s/he wants to know that information, who will he ask? And why would you say no? Just for the moment though, it might make life calmer and when s/he is little that kind of stability and consistency is one of the best things you can give them. It keeps options open.

[bmstinton93]

Oh it's a boy btw.

[John22]

-catches up-

Wow, this seems to be pretty serious stuff so I won't say too much, but all the best with it Ben.

[nade]

I don't post much, but wanted just to echo what everyone else is saying. Good on you Ben, hope everything goes well.

If the actual father is gonna be a knob then good ridance. The kid will ideally need some kinda "father figure" and you seem to be a pretty decent one.

[bmstinton93]

Thanks to everyone who has commented. I know its my own personal life but I have to admit it feels good to just let it out and hear what people have to say about it even if they respond negatively. Just to point out as well that anything I say about any plans we have or anything, it may come across like we know what we're doing. We really don't. Yeah we have spoken about things but at the end of the day anything may change and we are pretty much just taking things as they come. And I will keep everyone updated.

[dimtimjim]

Women = if you can face spending a week with one and not wanting to kill her - thats how you define a 'keeper'. Well, that and a willingness to experiment...

Plus, women tend to get very randy during the latter months of pregnancy, you really need to stick around to reap the benefits!

[R94N]

I'm not really sure what else I can add to the discussion but as I knew you would you seem to be doing the right thing.

[The Deadly]

Pregnant sex is my least favourite thing in the world. I still have nightmares to this day.

[bmstinton93]

There's nothing wrong with it. It depends who the female is...

[Johnny 1989]

All the best to you Ben, especially in somewhat difficult circumstances especially as you've only been going out with the girl for a few months, you seem a level headed chap so I'm sure you'll do just fine

[mmolive]

Assuming no UK age laws were broken for procreation, then no i'm not, not for another 5 months....!

But ouch, that hurt.

[dimtimjim]

^^

I've been bot-quoted.

niiiiiiiiiice.

[bmstinton93]

Just realised our master, Chris follows my girlfriend on Twitter. I think I feel honoured!

[bmstinton93]

I went along to the 32 week scan today. Was nowhere near as awkward as I expected and the baby is apparently gonna be 7 pounds and is growing absolutely perfect so far so all is good.

[MK Chris]

32 weeks is not a normal scheduled scan, was something wrong? Also they are guessing about the weight... they have no idea when it'll even be born, let alone how much it weighs now.

[bmstinton93]

Oh I dunno as far as I know it was scheduled. Her last one was the 24 week scan I think. And I presume they're guessing. Apparently it's 4 pounds now and it's due date is July 3rd but I know nothing...

[MK Chris]

You usually have a scan at 12 weeks and one at 20, but if there are complications they'll do more (or you can have as many privately as you like).