[DevilsDuck]

I have devised a new quiz.

The rules are:
I ask a question
The funniest and/or most entertaining answer will get 2 points...
An answer that makes me smile will get 1 point

If anyone reads my mind and gives the "perfect" answer they will get 5 points.

I am the judge and if anyone argues with me they will lose 5 points.

If you annoy me I will dock points

I reserve the right to add and amend the rules as and when I please!

At any time I deem acceptable a prize may be awarded to the person at the top of the table!

First question: how much wood could a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?

[SAV1OUR]

Lack of sleep when we get an extra hour?

[Yudster]

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood?
Well I don't know, but if I tried to find out, I bet you that I could.
I'd look in books and I'd look on the telly
I'd look in the hole in my husband's belly
(although I think it would be fair enough
If there I only found grey fluff).
But as to the question of the the wood chuck, well
Sooner or later, something would ring a bell.
If you chuck lots of wood, does the size of the log
Influence the work of the poor groundhog?
Because if it does, and the log size is such
That the answer would turn out to be "not much",
Then all I can say is that your question is moot
And you and your wood chuck, though it's been a hoot
Can just toddle off into the sunset together
While I stay here and just moan about the weather.

Its so COLD.

[chrysostom]

27.

[DevilsDuck]

Lack of sleep when we get an extra hour?

You obviously don't have young children.

-1 point

[SAV1OUR]

Sounds horrific!

[nade]

If the wood chuck is anything like my local council "workmen". then my answer would be:

Very little, cos he'll be too busy sitting in his workvan drinking Lucozade and reading the Sun.

[DevilsDuck]

Getting better but still want more! Points for the first round will be awarded tomorrow!

[Yudster]

Getting better but still want more! Points for the first round will be awarded tomorrow!

You still need to know what a wood chuck chucks
When a wood chuck chucks some wood?
In all my experience of fussy fussy ducks
You're the fussiest who ever stood.
When a wood chuck chucks
What a wood chuck chucks
And a duck wants to know
Exactly how its going to go
And the number of logs
And the prairie dogs
Make it hard to really know
How much wood is going to go
Where the wood chuck chucks it
(And exactly where he tucks it
Is a question causing fever
In the mind of every beaver
Who ever wanted logs
Thrown away by those groundhogs)
SO - how much wood would a wood chuck chuck?
With calculation and good luck
And a following wind, and a fussy duck -
I really do not give a *.

[a-moron]

Well if it's a female then * all cause women can't throw for shit.

If it's a male then he could hurl Victoria Wood clean across the * room.

[Tunster]

2 pieces. Next question please.

[MadTheEddos]

Sh*tloads, cos it's his friggin job. Assuming he's not lazy or on strike.

[Zoot]

Boobs.

[Tunster]

Boobs.

My second answer - the wood chuck is a perv and doesnt chuck very good.

[Sophie.]

A woodchuck is another name for a groundhog.These are quite small so I am guessing they could chuck about 10 grams worth of wood. They are also adorable.
So cute!

[a-moron]

A groundhog is also called a land-beaver in some parts.

Beaver Pic

[DevilsDuck]

First Round Points:

Everyone gets a bonus point for not picking up on me saying I would do the points on Monday!

Zoot - 5pts
Sophie. - 3pts
theflyingbadger - 3pts
Yudster - 3pts
charlalottie - 2pts
chysostom - 2pts
MadTheEddos - 2pts
nade - 2pts
Tunster - 2pts
Saviour - 0pts

Next Question:
How much bear could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

[Tunster]

Next Question:
How much bear could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

Bear meat search in google images bears this image (pun!):



Didn't know you could eat bear meat, but that image just says; "hello! don't eat me!". So maybe Bear Grylls wouldnt grill bears.

[Yudster]

How much bear could Bear Grylls grill if Bear Grylls could grill bears?

As much as he wants. Even grizzlies don't mess with Grylls.

[a-moron]

Just the one piece -



He then slaps it on the ground and goes balls deep.

[Yudster]

Bear Grylls would feed Chuck Norris to the bear before he grilled it.

[dimtimjim]

Mmmmmm, beef curtains.

Which reminds me; how are things, Yuds?!

[Yudster]

Is that actually a bear steak?

[a-moron]

Nope.
It's Vagina Steak.

[chrysostom]

Mmmmmm, beef curtains.

Which reminds me; how are things, Yuds?!

GOOD LORD.