Off-topic chat. May contain offensive language or images.
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By Uglybob
#62775
Spot the Truth from the Fiction

1. Uglybobs favourite pastime is letting off silent but deadly farts in lifts.
2. Uglybob microwaved 6 sausages and blew up the microwave when he put them in for too long.
3. Uglybob has a relative in Australia called Madge.
4. Uglybob has never had the squits.
5. Uglybob has never been to England.
6. Uglybob has urinated on plants to see if they grow better with homemade fertilizer.
7. Uglybob would not take a shower without having his pants on after his appendix operation for fear the water might in some way harm the scar.
8. Uglybob has smacked a golf ball in the face of a cat.
9. Uglybob has got a hairy arse and regularly shaves it so the turds dont cling on to it.
10. Uglybob likes collecting those shiny pebbles you get in graves.
11. Uglybob had a hand in making Heather Mills slip on her arse on a chat show
12. Uglybob had to take a picture of his penis and post it to his mother after he lost a bet.


THERE YOU GO

6 ARE TRUE
6 ARE COMPLETELY FALSE
User avatar
By Sidders
#62778
Well here's what I guess:
Untrue: 1,3,4,6,8,9
True: 2,5,7,10,11,12
User avatar
By Chief Erf
#62782
True: 2,5,7,8,9,10
untrue:1,3,4,6,11,12
User avatar
By Uglybob
#62786
Untrue - 4 incorrect to Sidla

proof that i will live forever

Image
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#62805
true: 1,2,5,7,8,11
untrue: t'others...
User avatar
By Uglybob
#62814
very good gaspode, only one incorrect
User avatar
By Sam
#62816
true - 1,2,4,5,7,8?
User avatar
By Uglybob
#62817
2 wrong Sam
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By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#62850
swap 8 for 12 then i say. it was worrying how many i got right first time...
User avatar
By Uglybob
#63213
i will give the answers out on Wednesday at 7pm.
User avatar
By Jonny Hoare
#63224
Everything you say is false- unless you've stole it from BBC Online

CTRL C
CTRL V
User avatar
By Uglybob
#63233
well strangely, 6 of them are true Jonny
User avatar
By Uglybob
#65871
the truths

2. Uglybob microwaved 6 sausages and blew up the microwave when he put them in for too long.
3. Uglybob has a relative in Australia called Madge.
5. Uglybob has never been to England.
7. Uglybob would not take a shower without having his pants on after his appendix operation for fear the water might in some way harm the scar.
8. Uglybob has smacked a golf ball in the face of a cat.
11. Uglybob had a hand in making Heather Mills slip on her arse on a chat show
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#65887
damn i was so close first time...
User avatar
By Sidders
#65956
Was the cat ok?
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#65978
Uglybob wrote:7. Uglybob would not take a shower without having his pants on after his appendix operation for fear the water might in some way harm the scar.


where did they cut you for your "appendix" scar to be covered by your pants? or do you have really large pants?
User avatar
By Adam
#66003
nah, its not the fear of water getting into the wound, apart from the fact there's water in your body anyway. the really reason was he didnt want the nurse to laugh at his small willy.
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By Sidders
#66008
What was a nurse doing in uglybob's shower?
User avatar
By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#66011
i dunno but most nurses are ugly anyway. when i had an operation they told me not to get the scar wet for a while anyway...
User avatar
By Adam
#66013
question 7 doesnt state where he was taking a shower. i just thought maybe he was still in hosptial.

i got "chatting", shame i didnt pull her really, to a female nurse the other night, she told me some rather funny stories in fact :)
User avatar
By Uglybob
#66129
i made a mistake in question 7, i really meant a bath, the nurse was really nice tho, blonde, 23, big boobs, nice arse
User avatar
By Adam
#66131
really :)

uglybob - just dont go any further into that story ;)

ahhh, the uniform...
User avatar
By Uglybob
#66153
one word

suppositories
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By Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog
#66202
hmm a rather too close glimpse of uglybobs life here i feel.
User avatar
By Uglybob
#66207
yeah ill leave that for when the board is really dull.