chrismoyles.net
- Sun Apr 07, 2002 6:44 pm
#7800
Last night saw the screening of the pilot episode of "No Pain,No Gain", on Channel 5 the latest in a long line of "Torture TV" shows,in which members of the public endure physical hardship for the chance to win money.Episode 1 featured Cyril Mullet,a part-time mechanic from Moosejaw,who wanted to win enough cash to fulfil his son's dream of lifelong unemployment.
Round 1, "One Good Turn Deserves Another",saw Cyril memorizing shapes and colours,while being distracted by the application of medieval thumbscrews.It was a close run thing,but Cyril managed to stay conscious until the ad-break.
Round 2, "The I Scream Parlour" Cyril had 3 minutes answering questions on his specialist subject "The Life and Times of Kylie Minouge" while glamorous assistant Carol,set about him with a pair of pliers.
Round 3 was "Nuts Anyone?".Cyril was pitted against convicted axe-murderer Jack "Mad Dog" McGill,in a 24 hour game of hide and seek in an abandoned mental asylum.Despite being cornered for several tense hours Cyril triumphed after convincing Jack to snort the contents of a fire extinguisher.
The final round "Treat Me Genitally" saw Cyril strapped to a table and
wearing carefully placed electrodes.Viewers were invited to phone in,and were constantly reminded "More votes means more volts!" I then lost count of the amount of times his head snapped back like the top of a Zippo,but it was proved to be worth it.As the credits rolled we were treated to Cyril,tears in his eyes,accepting a cheque for £247.
Round 1, "One Good Turn Deserves Another",saw Cyril memorizing shapes and colours,while being distracted by the application of medieval thumbscrews.It was a close run thing,but Cyril managed to stay conscious until the ad-break.
Round 2, "The I Scream Parlour" Cyril had 3 minutes answering questions on his specialist subject "The Life and Times of Kylie Minouge" while glamorous assistant Carol,set about him with a pair of pliers.
Round 3 was "Nuts Anyone?".Cyril was pitted against convicted axe-murderer Jack "Mad Dog" McGill,in a 24 hour game of hide and seek in an abandoned mental asylum.Despite being cornered for several tense hours Cyril triumphed after convincing Jack to snort the contents of a fire extinguisher.
The final round "Treat Me Genitally" saw Cyril strapped to a table and
wearing carefully placed electrodes.Viewers were invited to phone in,and were constantly reminded "More votes means more volts!" I then lost count of the amount of times his head snapped back like the top of a Zippo,but it was proved to be worth it.As the credits rolled we were treated to Cyril,tears in his eyes,accepting a cheque for £247.
