[Cornishtw@ (Guest)]

With Christmas shopping looming over like Micheal Winner in a warm vat of pork chops heres an idea for at least one present this Christmas straight from the Hyper-Value catalouge.<P>Gentlemans Christmas **** Warmer* £4.99 <br>Made from the finest bee skin and camel fur this personal nut roast fits perfectly over the cobblers providing maximum warmth and less shrinkage during those cold winter days. Available in three different sizes, medium, large, and throbbing piece of gristle, the **** warmer already has a posotive plethura of celebrity endorsers.<br>Elton John: 'I don't know where I'd be without my fury helmet'.<br>William Hague: 'Its like an electric blanket for my balls'<br>Requires AA batteries. Available from all good British Gas outlets.  <P>Cheers!<br>Steely Treeve   <P>  <P>

[Cornish_Tw@]

It said C-O-C-K by the way!