[A(THE?)MARK_AND_LARD_FAN]

With the exception of Caraoke which is quite funny,all Chris Moyles' new features don't work.<br>CHRIS MOYLES NEW FEATURES ANALYSIS:<br>Dial-a-Mate:<br>Not only is this feature futile and pointless it fails because obviously if you ring up you're going to get someone to ring you!!!<br>Everyone knows what Moyles is like,so no-one is going to take a chance that someone will ring them,and if they don't Moyles will take the mick out of you; everyone just gets someone upstairs to ring them after about 20 seconds for God's sake!!!<br>Great receptionist stopwatch challenge:<br>This should be funny but isn't because:<br>Now correct me if I'm wrong but doesn't the manager of a company ring up Radio1 and nominate one of there secretaries ? so this also does not work because the manager will just tell there receptionist 'you might get a prank call today' or something; again it's the point that what manager is going to risk one of their secretaries putting the phone down on someone on national radio ?? erm...no.<br>Secret Squirrel<br>This should be the funniest feature but in fact is the worst:<br>Does anyone really think that a boyfriend is going to come on the radio and admit trimming his pubic hairs in the bathroom for £20 of CD vouchers,or whatever it is.<br>I can't believe that Moyles and co are really taken in by this rubbish; can you imagine the scene??<br>GIRLFRIEND: 'Hello boyfriend,I've found out an embarassing secret about you, but would you like to come on Radio1 and tell it to 6m(sic) people ?'<br>BOYFRIEND:  'Why would I do that?'<br>GIRLFRIEND: 'Well,there's £20 of CD vouchers to win'<br>BOYFRIEND:  'Oh yeah!! ring up now !! what a great prize'<br>For goodness sake get real everybody!!!! who on earth would want to get humiliated on national radio for next to nothing??<br>CHRIS MOYLES NEW FEATURES CONCLUSION<br>As you can see from the assesment all the new features run(and fail) along the same theme; 2 PEOPLE unknown to Moyles and co have to take part in each feature meaning that,although Moyles rather naively believes these features are genuine and has nothing to do with it,it's all a set-up by the callers.<br>This also goes for the ridiculous 'Have you annoyed a celebrity?' like,'I pinched Samantha Mumba's arse' yeah,....OK, and I saw Elvis Bungee-Jumping in the centre of Nottingham...Moyles would believe anything.<br>

[Tom_Murphy]

at least the callers are real listeners and not the dj's sidekick pretending.

[.]

they should get Anna on secret squirell <br>2 reveal a secret about moyles !

[Simon]

I'm going to let everyone who moans about Moyles being shite into a little secret. On your radio there is a button which does an amazing job - it turns it off!! Some people call this the "off button". If u don't like what he does then don't listen! Alternatively stop moaning and start listening to the greatest afternoon line up Radio 1 have had for ages (Mark and Lard followed by Chris Moyles AND no Jo Whiley).

[Tom_Murphy]

i would but the dreem teem are in. i love it when they ****  off moyles though coz you know he's gonna go mad.<P>by the way chris (harris) do you want the dreem teem's (cleverly edited) interview with moyles? the one he ranted about - i managed to record it, let me know.

[the_dr]

M&L fan: you have some cheek.<P>You talk about pointless features... hmmm let me think.<P>What about this? <br>Are you a boy? I am.<br>Is you name Bob? It is.<br>Are you ready to play the Yes/No game? Yes<P>Everyday. Every flippin day the same joke with the same crap accent. Chris' might be a setup, but so are yours. At least Chris tries to think up some new material instead of recycling them like old bog roll.<P>the_dr

[Chris]

Yeah, send everything my way (goes for anything anyones got) : mailto:[email protected]

[the_dr]

I got todays prank call "sucking diseal". Will upload it and send you the URL Chris.<P>the_dr

[Stickyspanner]

Cool - send anything to Chris that you want<P><trots over to his brothers house which has a faster connection and emails him a zip file containing my MP3 hard drive  :) ><P> <P>Nah - if u want anything though - just ask (and that goes for all the rest of ya!)

[the_dr]

I have every Moyles mp3 from MoylesWorld stored on cd, which I put in my <a href="http://www.soulplayer.com">Soul MP3/CD player</a>, which I then put in my pocket  :)<P>Moyles on the move - nice  :)<P>the_dr

[A(THE?)MARK_AND_LARD_FAN]

TO THE_DR,<br>Where abouts in my post did I mention the Yes/No game?; At least you seem to listen to this 'same joke' which is midway through the show every day  :) .I'm also interested that you seem to recycle your bog-roll too... <IMG SRC="http://chrismoyles.net/ubb/redface.gif"><br>I admit that the Yes/No game isn't really up to scratch,but that's a one-off.<br>The difference with Mark and Lard is that they CHANGE there sketches/features every month or so,like 'Oh,Lucky You' and 'Beat the Clock' which are absolutelty hilarious for the first few weeks than they geat a bit boring so they change them,and they bring them back a couple of months later when they are hilarious again; I wish Moyles would side-line his tedious and unfunny features(eg. The Not,Secret Squirrel,Dial-a-Mate,Great Receptionist Stopwatch Challenge etc.) That wouldn't leave him with much would it? He would just have to fill the shows up with scripted rants and Kiss-ass interviews with D-List celebrities( Nothing new,then).<br>Any show that can afford to leave out such features as Fat Harry White,Oh Lucky You,Beat the Clock etc. can't really be that bad can it.<br>But now this is where I get all hypocritical,because I did not intend to come on this forum with a 'Mark and Lard is better than Moyles' attitude.<br>

[the_dr]

"they bring them back a couple of months later" - isn't that what I said? Recycling?<P>And Moyles, short of material? Never  :) OK, sometimes he fills up the time with crapp items - but he has some good stuff as well - parodies, adverts, prank calls, sketches, etc. Much more variation than putting on silly voices to recite inane catchphrases, ringing up you sidekick who is sitting next to you to carry out the same joke - and then doing it all again a few months later.<P>In the end, we'll just have to agree to disagree or else we will just keep on arguing for and against the djs  :)<P>Thanks,<br>the_dr