- Sat May 05, 2001 11:00 am
#98064
Postwoman (Chorus):<br>Please write out the proper postcode<br>And stamp it at the top<br>Remember use sufficient postage<br>Or your letter might stop<br>And if you write your own address<br>Then we will return your mail<br>If it's damaged<br>Then that's just too bad<br>Then that's just too bad<P>Letter Writer:<br>Dear central postal office<br>I write to complain about this<br>I wrote three letters last autumn<br>My friend never got 'em<br>They all got sent back<br>I'm really grateful for you doing that<br>But what's the mat'?<br>I stamped, and addressed them<br>So why return 'em postman Pat?<br>I even sent 'em on priority mail<br>Why'd it fail?<br>They ought to lock you creeps up<br>In some kinda jail<br>But was wrong with my last three letters?<br>I wrote on them clearly in nice big block letters<br>Hope this situation betters<br>Anyway, soon some day<br>If you'd try to reply<br>That'd be fly, tell me why<P>Chorus<P>Letter Writer:<br>Dear Mr "The writing is too faint"<br>You even sent back my ****ing letter of complaint<br>What is wrong with you all?<br>Can't you read?<br>Is a giant pair of glasses what you need?<br>I know you can read my handwriting,<br>You know what my address is<br>So what the **** is wrong,<br>Are you taking the **** ?<br>I hope your incompetence makes you weep<br>And you can't sleep<br>I hope the guilt is deep<br>And you feel cheap<br>We'll gotta go, I'm gonna jump into the middle of a road<br>Oh ****, I forgot to write the proper postcode<P>Chorus<P>Postman:<br>Dear Sir, we'd write you sooner but we've been busy<br>It's the time of year when people write you see<br>We're really sorry that we sent your letters back<br>There was this spotty kid, of whom we're rid<br>He was called Zach<br>He thought the small address was where you sent it<br>And the big one from where it came<br>Anyway, it's sorted now<br>We hope it's all the same<br>Problems at the post office<br>Can cause a lot of pain<br>There was this one guy<br>Who killed himself 'cause of Zach<br>That idiot kept sending all his letters back<br>Can remember what his name was<br>But he was out of tack<br>Couldn't imagine who would do<br>Something like that.<br>