[stevotrash]

Once again I'm unemployed and getting bored of lounging around in the sun with a can of beer in one hand and a ciggy in the other. Oh yes, so so bored of that.

I was watching Richard & Judy this afternoon who were talking about there middle class book club feature again. As a social campaigner I've deceided to set up my own book club only for the lower classes. So if your a student, unemployed/benefit fraud/bum, underpayed, etc then you are allowed to join. Theres no fancy nibbles as none of us have any money and if you bring wine, your likely to be beaten to death by one of the other members of the group.

To kick things off here my recommendation....



Mick and Tony slag off archaelogy, saying its a load of old bollocks and they only ever find dead cats when they do the digging. To brighten things up Mick often hides turnips in the trenches for tony/aka baldrick to discover. Mick p*sses himself,'such a laugh,' he comments towards foxing the little sh*t. In retaliation tony often wee's over the handle of Micks trowel. They often go to the pub after finishing work at 2.00pm, and make some pathetic c*ck gags to the regulars.

[stevotrash]

Does no-one want to join my group?

[Uglybob]

nicking ideas off oprah winfrey, whats the thing about Duchess of York slating Madeley, tried to see it on teletext but the bloody page muddled up with holiday for lanzarote

[stevotrash]

Ron offers a unbeatable plan to loose the pound.

'Ale, shag, ale, fryup shag.'

'Theres no need to touch any of that foreign muck. Most of the time I just eat fish fingers. You don't even have to get the findus ones. Mrs Atkinson often goes to Iceland and brings back the big value packs. They also do lovely sasuage rolls which you just pop in the microwave. She avoids the pizza isle though.'

Ron isn't against all types of foreign food though,'Sometimes I go for a curry, but I'm usually waiting for those lazy Indians to get their act together and serve me. As I've always said, if you don't get the service....you don't hit the net.'

£12.99 from waterstones

[Sidders]

I could definately go for that diet. Is it spiced with a little racism too?

[Uglybob]

Bible : The King Texters Edition

in da begin god cr8d the wurld n it was cool yknow wid big thingz n 2 ppl. noa ark woz wkd man. 2 bi 2 n all that.

[Ahh_Pathetic]

I could definately go for that diet. Is it spiced with a little racism too?

subtle as a half-brick sidla.

I'm still waiting for "Bubble - The Autobiograpy: My hell in Jacksons arms"

[Dickie]

No doubt Big Ron leaves his black pudding to the side when eating his fry-up.

[Mafro]

No doubt Big Ron leaves his black pudding to the side when eating his fry-up.

Lmao, that's a good one!

[stevotrash]

Rejected Hell's Kitchen brown nose in residence Al Murray has penned this book in which he travels the country trying to make friends with other celebrity chefs. 'Gordon's such a great guy, he's definently my favourite chef. That cute grin of his, makes me melt. He's such a dreamboat.'

Altough out of the kitchen and out of the fire, Al decided to leap back into the frying pan to meet up with his other favourite celbrity chefs. 'Garry Rhodes is a darling. I've always wanted to meet him. His spikey hair and come to bed eyes..mmm. He really knows how to handle meat. I've still got his poster over my bed.'

The topic of rick stein came up,'Rick Stein was my first ever gig. The first time I ever ate out at a top restaraunt. When that sea food platter came over I got such an adrenelaine rush. It was gorgeous. Just when I thought the performance had ended, there was an encore of coffee and mints. Plus Rick signed the back of my bill. I treasure that.'

Al was in fact the founder of the Rick Stein fan club.'Yeah, its still running. Got lots of members and we get great updates from the man himself. For £5 a year you get a lot. You get a T-Shirt with a picture of Rick on a trawler and a mug which says 'save all your fishes for me'. Each year we send out to each of our members a a live crustation with 'I'd die for Rick Stein' painted on its back with gloss paint.'

£11.99 Asda

[Uglybob]

Id imagine the Jennifer Ellisons Special Pop Up How to Cook Book is coming out soon.

[Sionide]

Got this book for my birthday, it's very funny..

The Darwin Awards 2:
"More true stories of how dumb humans have met their maker"

Some of the stories come with a background and show whether or not they have been confirmed as fact!

If you don't want to buy the book (RRP: £6.99) then you can read most of the submissions on http://www.darwinawards.com

[stevotrash]

at last, another member of the chav bookgroup.

[Sionide]

Got another, it's one of those "little" books..

"The Little Book of Drinking Games"

Published at only £2.50, this cheap but cheerful little book is a must-have for all party-goers.

From the blurb on the back;

Method: Take a copy of this book, mix with alcohol, add some friends, stir in some ambience and shake well.

Result? An excellent party!

Me and my friends even tried some of the games without alcohol and they were *still* a barrel of laughs all round..

ISBN Number: 1 84024 372 4

edit: http://www.summersdale.com/booklist.php?bookid=187&letter=L&cat=8