The place where everyone hangs out, chats, gossips, and argues
#145134
Most TV presenters have a clause in their contract allowing them to act smug in an annoying manner.

However, the world of Childrens TV has become a blemish on terrestrial and digital TV. Before some wise guy says, 'what are you doing watching childrens tv?' I shall reply, 'because your mother finds balamory improves her blowjob technique.'

In fact the hilarious Balamory is the only highlight on this otherwise dire programme. The characters are quite disturbing, and sometimes you get the impression that Balamory is some type of holiday resort operated by Gary Glitter Travels for members of the sex registar.

Gone are the days of John Cravens smart yet stylish jumpers, peter duncan's crazy schemes, thundercats and simon parkin. The channel is now dominated by 35 year old woman with the voices of a pubescent child (and the arse of a 50 year old) alongside the mincing, mournfull mullet brigade.

Not only do we have to put up with these retards trying to string a sentence together we then have to put up with the shite programming. Grange Hill used to be brilliant. The gonch, the jenkins the zamo. Brilliant. Nowdays however, theres a fasination with the writers to, 'show real issues which effect our young viewers.' O.K so your going to be looking at the shitness of school dinners, pulling sickies and trying to avoid P.E? 'Actually were going to look at drugs and prostitution..' Ehhhhhhhh, are these 'issues' things which really effect most of the children watching.

To get back on track, we really need to start voicing protest against these gimpish idots. First to be chucked should be Fearne Cotton. Reasons (add your own):

-her stupid fast talking which makes her sound like 3 year old chewing on a wasp

-her ridiculous 60's clothing. That style of clothing may look good on an artist or someone who has a strong association with the liberalisation of the 60's. Not on someone who hangs aroung with crabs like Busted

-finally, every sentence she says starts with, 'Now, listen....' or 'Right'. Don't tell me when and when not to listen darling!

Its been a long post but we've come through it together. Opinions on Fearne Cotton.........lets go to line 1 who's there????
User avatar
By B26354
#145139
wtf, i cant even be arsed to read that essay

cbbc-- how many people in here (quite a few are 20/23) will actually watch that rubbish

the only one i know of is Fearne thats only because i used to wake up at 8 on a sunday watch five minutes of Smile then go back to sleep i dont give her enough time to ennoy me.
User avatar
By Adam
#145140
Read it - its a quality post. It kinda like a Dodo. Rare.
User avatar
By Mcqueen_
#145143
The dodo is extinct you pillock.

Nice to see a quality post getting quality responses though.
By stevotrash
#145144
is that sarcasim i detect nick?
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By Adam
#145145
Ha, thats the one. I am sorry for that. Long day.

Oh dear, Extinct. *Hangs head in shame*
By Lindsay
#145146
My contribution to this topic...Ive been to Balamory or Tobermory as its known...exciting stuff
By stevotrash
#145148
I there really a suspect young christopher biggins in a pink jumper living in the castle?

Or isn't it one of Prince Edwards gaffes?
User avatar
By Mcqueen_
#145150
stevotrash wrote:is that sarcasim i detect nick?


About quality responses, yes.

The main post raises some good points. I always wondered why the only channel my parents watch on freeview is the cbbc channel. I originaly thought it was because of the lack of other channels provided. I'll never be able to look at them the same.

Fearne tries too hard to relate to the audience, being 'down wit it' and wearing 'hip' clothes. However there should be more presenters with mullets. Bring back Pat Sharp.
By Lew
#145151
Fearne Cotton means well but she reminds me of a young girl trying to act cool in front of her older brothers' friends.

Childrens television is in no fit state at all these days. On Saturday i idly stumbled upon 'The Saturday Show' which at the time was featuring a quiz which involved answering questions correctly or being 'gunged', bringing back old Noel Edmonds nightmares.

Actually it was 'ntv' on house party which scared the bejeezus out of me. i didnt feel safe in my own home.

But, as someone has already mentioned in some way, being a person of 19 years of age childrens' T.V doesn't really bear an issue to me right now. The general standards of television as a whole though, does worry me a little.

'Big Brother gets evil', you what? Are we now to be treated to nothing but endless streams of Davina McCall acting nice to all of the people outside the house? The Jon Tickle show? C4's promotion for big rother this year has not sold it to me at all and is actually quite emarassing on their part. I'm glad i'm missing it.

Oh well, back to being reclusive...
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By Uglybob
#145153
i hate Fearne Cotton ever since she presented Diggit or something. She talks down to the viewer so much and she "thinks shes it".
Special mention should go to CBeebies presenters for ultimate presenting skills. Take a look at Chris Jarvis presenting in the morning. You just wanna kick his little grinning noncey face in.

Big Cook Little Cook - Childrens programme of the year id say, making ginger people look even more ridiculous.
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By B26354
#145154
:lol: is that the lewis aka ----- back from hiding
User avatar
By Adam
#145158
Yep, good to see him back. Well for that post anyway.
By Lindsay
#145160
most of the stuff isnt even filmed in Tobermory, just the outside shots, everything else is filmed in the studios in glasgow, the castle is actually in Berwick
Last edited by Lindsay on Wed May 26, 2004 6:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
By stevotrash
#145161
About quality responses, yes.

The main post raises some good points. I always wondered why the only channel my parents watch on freeview is the cbbc channel. I originaly thought it was because of the lack of other channels provided. I'll never be able to look at them the same.

Fearne tries too hard to relate to the audience, being 'down wit it' and wearing 'hip' clothes. However there should be more presenters with mullets. Bring back Pat Sharp.



The original mullet man was a legend. These young presenters have been cut from the womb of comercial radio far to early, and given a shoddy greasy mullets in a lame attempt to make them appear as good as the patty man.

But there was ever only one legend who lived in a spongy house of fun, with a couple of pretty fit blonde twins whilst racing around on an electric go-cart.

If mullets make a comeback, they should have lots of volume. They should look like you giving a lamb a piggyback.

Thats a childrens TV presenter.
By stevotrash
#145162
i hate Fearne Cotton ever since she presented Diggit or something. She talks down to the viewer so much and she "thinks shes it".
Special mention should go to CBeebies presenters for ultimate presenting skills. Take a look at Chris Jarvis presenting in the morning. You just wanna kick his little grinning noncey face in.

Big Cook Little Cook - Childrens programme of the year id say, making ginger people look even more ridiculous.


Fearne cotton was for certain a spoilt, clueless waste of space as a child who i'd imagine knows less than most of the teenagers watching.

The cbeebies presenters a genius. They actually present after undergoing a labotomy. Its almost like care in the community. Young children must realise that these presenters are nowt like the foul mothed adults they know.

'Are they real mummy?'
'Yes. Now shut the f*ck up and eat your fishfingers'
By stevotrash
#145163
most of the stuff isnt even filmed in Tobermory, just the outside shots, everything else is filmed in the studios in glasgow, the castle is actually in Berwick


I feel completely cheated.
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By gregs
#145189
the girl on Citv is cute... and my parents are aliens is fantastic (apologies, revision is getting to me and i discovered it the other day - addicted!)
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By Uglybob
#145190
i havent seen the presenters on citv since Danielle Nicholls was on it
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By Ahh_Pathetic
#145208
they had to move one of the balamory things because the guy told kids coming to his hotel he had killed one of the characters.

allegedly.

still doesn't seem like the real stevo this to me.. hes regressing.
User avatar
By pip1984_2k
#145218
I h8 that women.

Bring back such tv programmes as Bertha, Stop and tidy up, and the poddington peas!!!!

And mite aswell stick Gorden the Goather in with that list also.
User avatar
By MK Chris
#145224
I think you'll find it's Stoppit and Tidyup. It was the stuff of legend though.
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By lister
#145230
The only one's I like now are My Parents are Aliens, The Big Bang, and Shortchange. I saw a couple of minutes of Ministry Of Mayhem last week and there was some weird scienctist on and there was so much innuendo, maybe a bit too much in the end.

Childrens TV is nowhere near what it used to be, if they create a classic kids tv channel and I'd watch it.
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By Sidders
#145248
They just don't make kids TV of Maid Marion standard anymore. :(
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By Ahh_Pathetic
#145300
them green rags an when her face was all dirty...
long long title how many chars? lets see 123 ok more? yes 60

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