[Betti911]

This is why I know (or think I know) the answers to everything after a few drinks

Cheers - The Buffalo Theory

The answer to one of life's great mysteries! I haven't heard anyone explain this as well as the all-wise Cliff Clavin, on the sitcom Cheers. One afternoon at Cheers, Cliff Clavin was explaining the Buffalo Theory to his buddy Norm...

"Well, ya see Norm, it's like this... A herd of buffalo can only move as fast as the slowest buffalo. And when the herd is hunted, it is the slowest and weakest ones at the back that are killed first. This natural selection is good for the herd as a whole, because the general speed and health of the whole group keeps improving by the regular killing of the weakest members.


"In much the same way, the human brain can only operate as fast as the lowest brain cells. Excessive intake of alcohol, as we all know, kills brain cells, but naturally it attacks the slowest and weakest brain cells first. In this way, regular consumption of beer eliminates the weaker brain cells, making the brain a faster and more efficient machine. That's why you always feel smarter after a few beers."

[DemonHorse]

heheh yeah I've heard of this too... I even have a tankard somewhere with "Norm says Beer makes you smarter" (or something to that effect) on it.

[Sidders]

Only trouble is, you can't grow brain cells, so once they're gone, that's it.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

hmm so dead buffalo can come back to life?

[Sidders]

No but new buffalo are born, get with the picture.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

yeah but it isn't the same buffalo so i dont see your point. new people are born with new braincells too...

[Sidders]

Yeah, but the buffalo are the sons and daughters of the best buffalos. If you kill your brain cells the cells aren't going to regenerate.

You know what I mean anyway.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

i dont sidders... your point is crap.

[Sidders]

Yeah, you do. Buffalo are born, brain cells aren't.

[Lucie]

Buffalo wings aren't really made out of Buffalo. Infact, buffalos don't even have wings.

[Quincy]

crab "flavoured" sticks

[DemonHorse]

crab "flavoured" sticks

depends which type of crab they're on about... someone will probably start a lameass clear labelling campaign, but it won't be me as I don't care, I don't eat them.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Yeah, you do. Buffalo are born, brain cells aren't.

but they are when new people are born. either way the same ones aren't reincarnated.

[Sidders]

either way the same ones aren't reincarnated.

I never said they were.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

you made it seem like dead buffalo were less important than lost braincells.

[Sidders]

Yeah, but new buffalo are born better, but brain cells die and never come back.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

but new braincells are created in new people.

[Mcqueen_]

you made it seem like dead buffalo were less important than lost braincells.

Silly you Sidla.

[Sidders]

Yeah but new cells aren't created in the same person in the same way that the same buffalo wouldn't grow new brain cells.

[Lucie]

Oh dear lord - do you really care?!

[Sidders]

Yes.

[Lucie]

Yes.

You'll look the better person if you stop now.

[Sidders]

But it's so important though.

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

Yeah but new cells aren't created in the same person in the same way that the same buffalo wouldn't grow new brain cells.

thats my point! you need a new thing for both - buffalos and braincells.

[Sidders]

Yeah, but you can't compare brain cells and buffalo, because buffalo are born and brain cells aren't. You'd either have to compare buffalo with humans, or buffalo brain cells and human brain cells.