Early Morning Hoots! - chrismoyles.net forum

Early Morning Hoots!#336345

By Vivienne - Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:22 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:22 am #336345

Sorry! I can't resist posting these! Spotted them at the weekend!

1. What kind of dog avoids a frying pan?

- A sausage dog!

2. Where do dead chickens go when they die?

- The oven!

3. What do you call a complaining adult?

- A groan up!! :-)

"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336347

By MK Chris - Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:25 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:25 am #336347

You should work for a Christmas cracker manufacturer.

Stuff about Thatcher....

You are a disgrace and I'm looking forward to when someone you respect dies so I can rub your liberal face in it.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336349

By Yudster - Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:25 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 9:25 am #336349

2. Where do dead chickens go when they die?

- The oven!

No need to apologise for that one!

Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336361

By foot-loose - Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:22 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:22 am #336361

yes there bloody is!

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336364

By Vivienne - Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:24 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:24 am #336364

Here's another funny one:

Foot-loose set off for Loch Lomond on Friday, only to be greeted by floods...
Out of the Ark came viv, who proceeded to nibble on his ear.

"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336367

By foot-loose - Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:27 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:27 am #336367

Are you one of the animals? If so, you are meant to go in two by two (hurrah) - I'm pretty sure there is only one of you.

I'll have a word with Noah - I think you might need to leave. Plus, leave my ear alone ya crazy wummin.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336369

By Vivienne - Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:29 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:29 am #336369

I have a doppleganger. Bet you don't know what that word is!!

"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336374

By Yudster - Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:33 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:33 am #336374

Bet he does - I bet most of us do in fact. It's not that obscure.

Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336377

By Vivienne - Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:34 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:34 am #336377

Foot-loose doesn't keep quite right though.

"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336382

By foot-loose - Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:38 am

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 11:38 am #336382

I have a doppleganger. Bet you don't know what that word is!!

I do.

Bet he does - I bet most of us do in fact. It's not that obscure.

I do.

Foot-loose doesn't keep quite right though.

I do.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336415

By kendra k - Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:01 pm

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:01 pm #336415

These jokes are worse than Laffy Taffy jokes.

kendra i love you so much

Oh shut up you titless American biatch

kendrak's attack

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336416

By Bonanzoid - Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:05 pm

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:05 pm #336416

Why are tractors magic?

They go down the road and turn into a field.

(I feel that that joke was too good for this thread, but what the hell, it makes me chuckle)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336422

By MK Chris - Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:49 pm

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 2:49 pm #336422

Two fish in a tank. One says to the other: "do you know how to drive this thing?"

Stuff about Thatcher....

You are a disgrace and I'm looking forward to when someone you respect dies so I can rub your liberal face in it.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336426

By Bonanzoid - Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:19 pm

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 3:19 pm #336426

A dyslexic walks into a bra.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336436

By SpaceBoy - Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:14 pm

- Tue Apr 01, 2008 5:14 pm #336436

Oh the veal is quite delicious on this thread! lets see if it will last all week!

I woke up this morning with money coming out of my backside and I counted it all out and it totaled £1999, I thought I wasn't feeling too grand!

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336653

By pjordan2000 - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:49 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:49 pm #336653

Two parrots were standing on a perch, one turned to the other and said "Do you smell fish?"

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336656

By Yudster - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:53 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:53 pm #336656

Now thats funny.

Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336657

By Vivienne - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:54 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:54 pm #336657

I don't get it.

"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336658

By Yudster - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:55 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:55 pm #336658

Once you know that a perch is a type of fish, it gets clearer.

Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336660

By Vivienne - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:55 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:55 pm #336660

hmmmm. I still say my jokes were funnier.

"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336661

By foot-loose - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:56 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:56 pm #336661

Two parrots were standing on a perch, one turned to the other and said "Do you smell fish?"

*gives Pjordan 'evils'*

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336663

By Vivienne - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:57 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:57 pm #336663

Here's another joke:

Why was the reindeer wearing sunglasses on the beach? - Because he did not want to be recognised! :-)

"I'm off my head on sugar". (R1 DJ Sara Cox, 26/9/08)

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336664

By pjordan2000 - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:57 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:57 pm #336664

*backs away slowly to door, before turning and running as fast as god damn can*

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336666

By Yudster - Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:59 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 12:59 pm #336666

hmmmm. I still say my jokes were funnier.

Well, not all but i have already given my support to your dead chicken one. Made oi larf.

Just remembered that I played pool with a satanist last night. Really should go out on a Friday more often.

Had a good night last night. We lost the pub quiz but had my hair plaited by a viking.

Re: Early Morning Hoots!#336668

By foot-loose - Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:00 pm

- Thu Apr 03, 2008 1:00 pm #336668

*backs away slowly to door, before turning and running as fast as god damn can*

Fred is out there.

Don't make me use him!

A boat carrying blue paint and a boat carrying red paint crashed into each other. Apparently, the crews were marooned.