[S4B]

So you think a half truth is better than making a child feel better?

[ladbroke]

Granted, it would make sense to spare the gory details, but kids should be able to deal with death and the general nastiness of the world.

In my experience kids sometimes deal better with humans passing away, than they do their own rabbit! Let the innocence continue for a bit longer, it's kind of sweet.

[foot-loose]

So you think a half truth is better than making a child feel better?

How is it a half truth? The fox killed the rabbit. That is the full truth. If you add in "it ripped open its stomach and fed slowly on its intestines while it was still alive then decapitated it" then you are merely adding extra information to the original story.

And how is lying to the child a good call? They grow up thinking the world is pink and fluffy and that is a load of bollocks. There is a metaphorical fox round every metaphorical corner ready to rip your metaphorical head off. The sooner we get that, the quicker we start taking our metaphorical anti-fox spray out with us!

In my experience kids sometimes deal better with humans passing away, than they do their own rabbit! Let the innocence continue for a bit longer, it's kind of sweet.

Well, I have no experience so I am probably not qualified to discuss such things. I'm sure it's easy for me to sit and say "ahh just tell them" but it's a different case when you actually have to do it!

[S4B]

There is a right time to start telling them the cruel truth about the world and you do it in stages.

In my experience kids keep asking questions which is a good thing, however not so much when they start asking what the fox did to the rabbit, where the rabbit is now and why the fox did it. As he fox didn't eat the rabbit you can hardly tell them it was "Nature's Way" and everything has its place in the circle of life can you!

[ladbroke]

There is a right time to start telling them the cruel truth about the world and you do it in stages.

In my experience kids keep asking questions which is a good thing, however not so much when they start asking what the fox did to the rabbit, where the rabbit is now and why the fox did it. As he fox didn't eat the rabbit you can hardly tell them it was "Nature's Way" and everything has its place in the circle of life can you!

It is natures way really, foxs kill for fun, and the thrill of it. Still not going to tell him that though!

[S4B]

Not as though the fox had to chase it though really is it? How was it thrilling for the fox? I would say it was a lazy fox to be honest!

[ladbroke]

Kind of a fox drive through!

[S4B]

Is that like a whist drive or a beetle drive?

[ladbroke]

Couldn't bring myself to type drive thru. Balls I just have, bloody American English!

[Yudster]

So you think a half truth is better than making a child feel better?

How is it a half truth? The fox killed the rabbit. That is the full truth. If you add in "it ripped open its stomach and fed slowly on its intestines while it was still alive then decapitated it" then you are merely adding extra information to the original story.

And how is lying to the child a good call? They grow up thinking the world is pink and fluffy and that is a load of bollocks. There is a metaphorical fox round every metaphorical corner ready to rip your metaphorical head off. The sooner we get that, the quicker we start taking our metaphorical anti-fox spray out with us!

I'm totally with footy on this one. It's absolutely crucial that kids understand things like this right from the start. I wouldn't get too gory, but I would absolutely explain that the fox killed the rabbit - I would probably even try to explain why. A 6 year old should absolutely have an understanding of such things. My cat regularly brings home dead birds and rodents which my 4 year old sees, when he asks me about it I tell him. I know it would be more difficult with a pet, but I would still be honest. I don't believe in being sentimental about such things.

One observation - if you are going to keep rabbits outside, make sure their cages are at least strong enough to withstand a fox. It's not that difficult, foxes aren't designed to overcome obstacles like properly secured doors and decent quality wire - if they can't find an easy way in they won't waste time trying. Stoats and weasels are far more difficult to keep out - but thankfully the chances of having problems with them are very remote unless you live in the middle of nowhere.

[Boboff]

I am with Foots on this also.

We had a kitten die last year, and my daughter who was 7 cried a bit, but my Son who was 5 poked the body, and helped bend it's legs so we could get it in the pit I had dig. He was intrigued by it. Me and the wife had spent 8 hours trying to get this kitten to recover after the dog took it into the woods and left it there, it's not like we don't care, and we were sad, but it does them no harm. The point Yuds makes about doors and closing them, something kids forget, would be a great way for reenforcement of that message.

Anyway, it's your child, and none of us are perfect parents, so it's your call chap. Not nice when that happens though.

[Andy B]

Does this mean we can expect to see Ladbroke in a red jacket, riding with hounds anytime soon? Yoo Haloo!

[Ezza]

Urgh. So much is annoying me right now. I don't even know what i can do to sort it all out. I wish life could be simple for once.

[Yudster]

Anyway, it's your child, and none of us are perfect parents, so it's your call chap. Not nice when that happens though.

Yes. None of what I said alters the fact that when you are faced with it in your own family, you deal with it how you best can.

[TIAL]

Making me sad today (technically yesterday now ) was having to go through a catalog for old people's ready meals with my granddad, to see what he wanted to eat. He used to be a great cook, laying on feasts for everyone - but now he doesn't have the energy or confidence to cook anything - even for himself.

Oh no!

[rustybike]

Annoying me today is the fact that when one payday comes round I'm rushing my life away for the next one to come round and it's depressing me.

See, I'm saving to move out with the mrs. This means that I'm putting any extra pennies from my wage (£500) into savings which means after a week I'm left incredibly skint after bills, and although most people say to me "...then don't put so much into savings" - that's not possible because I currently live at home with mum, her partner, my chavtastic sister and her pot-head of a boyfriend which, even on good days, winds me up to the point that i wouldn't mind putting her head in between the patio doors and closing the door very quickly. I need to get out. But it just feels impossible at the moment as saving seems to be taking ages, and it's just getting me down, especially as I then don't have money to occupy myself - so I'm stuck playing on my 360 all day, walking the dog or re-arranging the room for the 5th time; and before you say it, I can't go for a drive as I've given myself a set allowance on petrol for work (* commuting to shitty Crawley).

Anyone have a couple of grand to spare?

[MK Chris]

The getting your own place thing is difficult for me as well... aren't you only 21? I'm 24 now and I need to be out (not least because my mum's none too keen on the idea of having me back.)

[Ballbag]

I can't go for a drive as I've given myself a set allowance on petrol for work (* commuting to shitty Crawley).

I know someone who commutes from Brighton to Crawley too.... maybe you could lift share? Or maybe you are him.

[Boboff]

I think Rustybike is a lady Bags, I know it's confusing isn't. I assume by the use of phrase "Mrs" she might be from a Todger Dodger.

[Yudster]

I can't go for a drive as I've given myself a set allowance on petrol for work (* commuting to shitty Crawley).

I know someone who commutes from Brighton to Crawley too.... maybe you could lift share?

That is a seriously good suggestion, you should look into that bustyrike. And good luck, stick at it - it'll all be worth it in the end.

[rustybike]

The getting your own place thing is difficult for me as well... aren't you only 21? I'm 24 now and I need to be out (not least because my mum's none too keen on the idea of having me back.)

Indeed. My mum kinda took me back half heartedly anyways as she thought me and my sister would be constantly arguing, but suprisingly it's going ok between me and her which is making my mum happy - I just get various moments of wanting to strangle her because of her constant stupidity (and that's putting it lightly).

But the thing is, I've tasted the out-of-home life and I loved it, but because the Mrs and I couldn't afford to save anything decent where we were we moved in with the 'rents to do so - but for some reason it's just taking ages.

How much do you think is a good amount to move out with? Bearing in mind the only things left to get are the big things like Sofa, Chair, Table, Wardrobe, etc. We have everything else stored in the garage.
We currently have £3000 saved.

I know someone who commutes from Brighton to Crawley too.... maybe you could lift share? Or maybe you are him.

I might have been if I was a "him".

Where abouts in Brighton is your friend?

[rustybike]

I assume by the use of phrase "Mrs" she might be from a Todger Dodger.

A what?!

[Boboff]

Rusty, it all depends on how much you aspire to new furniture and making your house look initially like something out of glossy Mag.

You obviously need 2 months rent, and you could furnish your house with second hand and innexpensive stuff for less than £500, you could get a new mattress included in this, as personally I could do second hand anything, but not mattresses. If you get a furnished place then this could be considerably reduced. So assuming £1000 a month rent, you do have enough. You can get a decent 3 bed house in Plymouth for about £600 - £700 so assuming Brighton is dearer you could get a 2 bed flat or something for that sort of money ?

You need to work out though afford ability moving forward, if you are struggling to save £500 a month, you would need this just for Rent, you would also need to find Community Tax, Water, TV, Electricity, Sky, etc which you can add £200 each a month for these as well.

Still nothings easy is it.

[Zoot]

Work Is annoying me. On Friday morning, I was told I had to get a load of invites printed so they could go out in the post that evening. Not too big a deal, each invite has a different name on it, but it should only take me about an hour to type each name and press print. All i had to do was wait for the list of names, which I did all day. The list was emailed to me at 4.40. (I finish at 5). After much cursing and moaning to the right people, I got on with it and finished them all at about 5.45.
I come in this morning to find they all have to be done again because someone neglected to tell me they were being printing on the WRONG invites!

[rustybike]

Boboff, generally with furniture we want it to look nice, as well as cheapish. So Argos, Tesco Direct, etc are the places we'll go to get the big furniture or if we see something second hand we'll take that instead, and I'm with you on the matress front, I'll always buy new matresses... you don't know who's slept on a previous one - but thank fully, we bought our new bed a couple of months ago.

Well after my usual bills go out (car insurance, car repayments and phone) I'm left with around £700 a month. I then pay my mum rent.
So when we move out, excluding the bills for the flats, me and the mrs are left with about £1200 - £1500 between us each month so that should cover the bills you mentioned (I even have a big spreadsheet at home with a list of things and how much they should be, over compensated amounts of course so we can base it on the highest amount).

Brighton is alright. You can get an unfurnished, 1 bed fat in the centre of town from about £750pm to £1500pm. They generally ask for maximum of 2 months rent, admin fee (which can differ between agents), references and something else which I can't remember. I remember looking at a place which was £750pm and it worked out that in total (before we even moved in) we'd have to pay around £2500 for all the things that needed to be done.

Expensive eh! Saving is the hardest bit... especially with those prices; but like Yuds said, it'll all be worth it in the end. I think I'm just being very impatient, but it's hard to be patient when your working day goes extremely slow, you have no money, and you come home to the strong smell of weed, and the sound of drum and bass blasting from it's bedroom.