[The Cornishman]

Put on your favourite moment. 30p=1play or 5plays= £1

Marge: Have you noticed something about Bart?
Homer: New glasses?
Marge: No. It seems like something could be troubling him.
Homer: Probably misses his old glasses.
Marge: I want to get more involved in Bart's activities, but then I'd be afraid of smothering him.
Homer: Yeah, and then we'd get the chair.
Marge: That's not what I meant.
Homer: Admit it Marge, it was.

[Sidders]

Does it have to be simpsons related?

[Nablo.]

If it is then I'd be here all days writing them out

[Benjoo]

Marge: But I fell in love with Homer Simpson! I don't want to
snuggle with "Max Power"!
Homer: Nobody snuggles with Max Power. You strap yourself in and
feel the "G"s!

[Benjoo]

Homer: So, how's it going, Grimey?
Grimes: I'd appreciate it if you'd stay out of my office, Simpson.
Homer: [laughs] Wish I had a nickel every time I heard that.
[walks around idly, making annoying sounds]
[off key] Take me out to the ball-game, take me out to the
ballll ...
So, what's new, Grimey?
[alarms blare and red lights go on at Homer's work station]
Grimes: Simpson, you've got a 513.
[Homer looks at his watch]
Grimes: No, a 513. In your procedures manual -- a 513?
{Homer looks at his watch again]
Grimes: [points] Look at your control panel.
Homer: [looks] Oh, a five THIR-teen. I'll handle it.
[calmly walks next door, takes a bucket of water and pours it
on the console. This shorts it out and silences the alarms]
That got it.
[Grimes looks through the window, aghast]

[Matt]

Homer: "Go crazy? Don't mind if I do! BLAH BLAHA DOOOO SQEEEEEE BLAH DO BE BLAAAAAAAA ARRAHHHH WAYYYYHEEEEYYYYY!"

[Nablo.]

HOMER: English, who needs that? I'm never going to England.

WITNESS RELOCATION GUY: Now, when I say, "Hello, Mr. Thompson,"and press down on your foot, you smile and nod.
HOMER: No problem.
WITNESS RELOCATION GUY: Hello, Mr. Thompson.
HOMER: I think he's talking to you.

HOMER: Alright brain, you don't like me and I don't like you, but let's just dothis and I can get back to killing you with beer.

HOMER: Son, when you participate is sporting events, it's not whether you winor lose, it's how drunk you get.

BART: These uniforms suck.
MARGE: Bart, where do you pick up words like that?
HOMER: Yeah, Moe, that team sure did suck last night. They just plain sucked.I've seen teams suck before, but they were the suckiest bunch of sucks that ever sucked.
MARGE: Homer! Watch your mouth.
HOMER: Aw, I gotta go, my damn weiner kids are listening.
LISA: We are not weiners!

Phew think I got that out of my system for now

[The Cornishman]

Homer: there are three ways to do things-the right way,the wrong way,and the Max Power way
Bart: Isn't that the wrong way?
Homer: Yes.....but faster!

[The Cornishman]

Homers perception of ballet-a bear driving around an ice rink in a tiny car.