- Fri Nov 29, 2002 11:51 am
#40269
I like this one:
Following on from the successful launch of the Euro in the majority of EU
states the European Commission has just
announced an agreement whereby English will become the official language
of the EU, in preference to the other
option of German. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phased plan which will
introduce what will be know as "Euro-
English". In the first year "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this
will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard
"c" will also be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion
and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the third year
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent
"e"s in the language is disgrasful and they should go away. By the fourth
yar peopl wil be reseptiv to further steps
such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During the fifz year ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a
reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi to undrstand ech ozer. ZE DREM
VIL FINALI HAV KUM TRU AND ZEN WE VIL TAK OVA ZE VORLD.
Following on from the successful launch of the Euro in the majority of EU
states the European Commission has just
announced an agreement whereby English will become the official language
of the EU, in preference to the other
option of German. As part of the negotiations Her Majesty's Government
conceded that English spelling had some
room for improvement and has accepted a 5 year phased plan which will
introduce what will be know as "Euro-
English". In the first year "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly this
will make sivil servants jump with joy. The hard
"c" will also be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion
and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the
troublesome "ph" will be replaced with the "f".
This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter. In the third year
publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are
possible.Governments will enkourage the removal of
double letters, which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent
"e"s in the language is disgrasful and they should go away. By the fourth
yar peopl wil be reseptiv to further steps
such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During the fifz year ze
unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
containing "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid to ozer
kombinations of leters. After zis fifz yar, ve vil hav a
reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubls or difikultis and
evrivun vil find it ezi to undrstand ech ozer. ZE DREM
VIL FINALI HAV KUM TRU AND ZEN WE VIL TAK OVA ZE VORLD.
happiness is...flying saucers (and cups)