[Lawrie]

ok dodgy kebab/pizza/indian/chines houses live across the uk..rights whats your takeaway story...and name and shame these dodgy cooks and...dodgy undercooked practices!

[Chief Erf]

well the most recent one happened last night, we had a thai takeaway, my mum rung up and gave the numbers corresponding to the dishes. I went to collect the takeaway to find that they had given us the wrong stuff. We later found out that they had added an item to the menu, so they had produced a new menu since we last came, this new item made the numbering system different, IE 67 was now 68. So they blamed it on us for not having the correct menu. In the end we got £9 credit.

Its not the most exciting story, but its the only one i could remember

[Morals]

We took a kebab bag and placed it on my mates head and set it on fire - it burned like a barsteward!

[magenta]

I bought some chicken nuggets from the foreign place last night, & the guy gave me a lollipop. Why would that be?

[Lawrie]

it wasnt the Cornishman by any chance giving subliminal clues would it?

[Gaspode_The_Wonder_Dog]

i was in london an went for a kebab an met my first genuine "open or wrapped" guy. then by pure fluke we got a taxi straight away meaning i had to eat the kebab really quick and i spilt all the sauce crap down me. so anyway i cleaned myself up with the greasy serviette thing an got in the taxi an the bloke turned round an goes "you could have eaten than in here". Madness.......

[ASG]

I was asking for a kebab and I said I'd like the garlic sauce, and the guy, being Turkish, was a little incoherent! He said:

They've both got garlic, so would you like the jsdkghklsghrdli or the sd;glghlgiryg;

so I said:

Yeah, OK

so he said:

Which one?

so I pointed, he didn't see where was I pointing and started giving me the wrong one! So I said

No, no, just gimme the white one!

Which he didn't understand, by this time I was trying not to laugh coz Nablo was creasing up in the corner, and I explained several times and he did the same and eventually he said,

I'll just give you rtiulhawlirhewfli

which is what I wanted anyway!

[Bob23]

The problem with recounting take-away stories (like my infamous "I demand to know what a ZINGER is, now!" in a KFC) is that, in order to go in one and purchase/consume the food, you need to be in the state of mind where you can't remember exactly what happened.

By the way, never have a donner whilst sober. Tried it once, never again.

[Sidders]

I've been added to the christmas list of my local take-away because I've become addicted to Southern Fried Chicken after drinking heavily.

[Bob23]

I knew a friend who had all the local take-aways on the speed-dial of his mobile. On didn't even have to say his name and address, just; "Hi, its me...."

[Adam]

I've been added to the christmas list of my local take-away because I've become addicted to Southern Fried Chicken after drinking heavily.

another healthy student for you... beer and fried chickhen.

[Morals]

We forced out local kebab shop to re-openone night when we stumbled out of the pub - he opened up , so we ordered a load of stuff and forced him to give us a discount - and he did! We had been in there every day for three months so I suppose he owed us really....

[Jonny Hoare]

sadly i don't frequent the local kebab house. but they do deliever. RESULT