[magenta]

You'll never get a girlfriend if you think you won't. Self confidence can be attractive, whining about how ugly/boring/hopeless you are never is.

[MK Chris]

This is true, I know how hard it is, but seriously, you only live once. Everyone gets rejected sometimes, but I do know that it takes a lot to do it.

Dr Chris Topher

[Funky Drummer]

Is that "Dr Christopher Topher" as in LOVE doctor...???

[magenta]

I suppose it's harder for men, because they are expected to do all the chasing, have a sex change, I could sit in the corner with a scowl on my face all night & I'd probably still pull, except for when I actually wanted to! - not being bigheaded here, it's just how desperate men can be!

[Sidders]

Exactly! I'm desperate, but I'd never be able to pluck up the courage to speak to a girl I fancy.

[magenta]

Have a few drinks first - that's what I do! Does wonders for the self confidence. Not too many though because if you fall asleep with your head in her lap & slobber on her then that's not sexy...

[Sidders]

lol I'll try and remember that!

[MK Chris]

Have a few drinks first - that's what I do! Does wonders for the self confidence. Not too many though because if you fall asleep with your head in her lap & slobber on her then that's not sexy...

Spot on! It does for me too.

And Funky - I meant it like that - but with a pinch of irony, which no one here can understand, 'cos you didn't see what I was like half a year ago.

[David]

you lot clearly aren't aware of the lack of good looking women in Shetland.

[magenta]

Well you'll never get anywhere if you set your standards too high!

Seriously, looks aren't everything.

[MK Chris]

Never look at the mantlepiece while you're poking the fire.

Go out with you mates on a "Pull a minger" night!

Put a certain amount of money in each and the one that comes back with the worst looking minger takes the dough!

[Gigglyboots]

Pull a minger...David don't.
The whole of our island would know within a day, and he would be reminded for it for a lifetime, lol.

[Jonny Hoare]

David's choices are limited, most of the women are related

Go on giggly, give him a thrill

[Bob23]

Don't ask girls that you like out on a date. They WILL knock you back. You will be uneasy around them, never speak to you again and tell everyone about how heart-broken you looked as she said 'No'.

Stay single. It's a lot less hassle, cheaper, they won't take half your house. and you'll probably get more action!

[Jonny Hoare]

Take it from an expert, being blown can hurt badly.

Tread carefully, Luke and use the divorce if you pull a minger

[Gigglyboots]

If you don't ask, you never even get a chance, might as well go for it. Ok, so you might get rejected, but that can't happen every time if your nice enough.

[Jonny Hoare]

The Hoare Mantra


"You can't win a raffle if you don't buy a ticket"

[Gigglyboots]

Gotta be in it to win it....ok so that was nicking it fae the readers digest cheesy cheesy ad.

[Jonny Hoare]

Sorta. but mine is better

Hoare Mantra Number 2- and chat up line

"With beefcake you get an awful lot of offal"

[Gigglyboots]

Yes, yours is better, I told you where mines is from and its not my own, lol.

[Jonny Hoare]

So what's gigly's number one chat up line

[Funky Drummer]

Mine (being a drummer) is ACE!:


"Hey......you wanna bang on my drums "

[MK Chris]

Mine (being a dirty *) is great!

The word of the day is legs, so let's go back to my place and spread the word....

[David]

my number one chatup line (which works quite well before christmas):

Can I have a photo of you so I can show Santa what I really want for Christmas?


although I've only ever used it on my female friends.

[MK Chris]

I like that one!

Actually, I don't do chat lines, 'cos the only girls that they work on have probably had at least 5 other different blokes in bed that week (and that's on a Monday)