[MK Chris]

If you're talking about the surgeons who did it, I'd say it is the very least of their duty to ask those questions

No no, I was talking about friends and colleagues. I had a lengthy consultation with doctors in which they asked those questions.

To be fair, I'd have said it was their duty as well.

you almost never hear of people regretting having kids

Do you think that's cos people genuinely don't, or cos it's socially unacceptable to say that you do? I had a friend with two young kids tell me, in confidence,"if I could go back, I'd have never opened my legs."

I believe it's because people genuinely don't. Clearly there will be exceptions, but the emotional attachment to your own children - even if you didn't previously want them and don't particularly like other people's - is well known.

it is more likely that you will regret an operation like that, particularly if you have never had children prior to having it done

How do you know? Is that based purely on your perception as a parent, or do you have evidence?

There are no hard figures, but it's based on the belief outlined in response to your previous question.

[Nicola_Red]

If you're talking about the surgeons who did it, I'd say it is the very least of their duty to ask those questions

No no, I was talking about friends and colleagues. I had a lengthy consultation with doctors in which they asked those questions.

To be fair, I'd have said it was their duty as well.

Why? Why is what I do with my body anyone else's business, unless I was married?

[Yudster]

Let's not go into this with Nicola. We all know she has very strong views on it.

Which is surely why she is an excellent person to be representing them? I wouldn't have the discussion with someone who was unsure of themselves, what would be the point? But Nic knows what she is about and is perfectly capable of expressing herself on the subject - as long as no one is having a go - and I don't think they are - I'd say she is the perfect person to talk to abut this!

[Nicola_Red]

Ben's just trying to keep the peace, bless him

[MK Chris]

If you're talking about the surgeons who did it, I'd say it is the very least of their duty to ask those questions

No no, I was talking about friends and colleagues. I had a lengthy consultation with doctors in which they asked those questions.

To be fair, I'd have said it was their duty as well.

Why? Why is what I do with my body anyone else's business, unless I was married?

Because at the end of the day, they are your friends and they are looking out for you. I'm sure they'd expect the same if the roles were reversed - I know I would. And as I said before, if you were a teenage wannabe mother (or over the age that is socially acceptable), they would be far worse about it I'm sure.

[Nicola_Red]

I wouldn't dream of asking a friend (assuming they were an adult) if they were sure about such a big, personal decision. I'd trust them to know their own mind.

[Yudster]

Ben's just trying to keep the peace, bless him

I know, but he needs to learn that not all disagreements are necessarily arguments, and that people can have opposing views, and defend them, without assuming that the other person is going to or should change their mind!

[Yudster]

I wouldn't dream of asking a friend (assuming they were an adult) if they were sure about such a big, personal decision. I'd trust them to know their own mind.

Really? If someone I cared about was contemplating such a massive thing I would talk to them about it. Not to talk them out of it, but to know that they are clear with what they are doing. Also, how could you possibly be a supportive friend afterwards if things went tits up if you hadn't shown any concern in the first place? When people care, they express concern - thank goodness.

[a-moron]

I know, but he needs to learn that not all disagreements are necessarily arguments, and that people can have opposing views, and defend them, without assuming that the other person is going to or should change their mind!

With all due respect, you are wrong on this one.

[Yudster]

And how much respect would you say is due?! Don't answer that...

[Nicola_Red]

I wouldn't dream of asking a friend (assuming they were an adult) if they were sure about such a big, personal decision. I'd trust them to know their own mind.

Really? If someone I cared about was contemplating such a massive thing I would talk to them about it. Not to talk them out of it, but to know that they are clear with what they are doing. Also, how could you possibly be a supportive friend afterwards if things went tits up if you hadn't shown any concern in the first place? When people care, they express concern - thank goodness.

I barely even told anyone to be honest. My mum and my boss knew and that was about it. I just felt it was nobody else's business. I really didn't wanna go thru all that "are you sure" stuff cos I knew 100% that I was and I didn't wanna have to justify it to people. I think that's just my nature though.

[Bonanzoid]

I can understand why people wouldn't want children, I certainly don't want them any time soon. For the sole reason that'd I'd be about as financially prepared as Rangers FC and it'd be irresponsible of me to try and raise a child. That said, I do want them some day. Before that though I need to find a woman silly and desperate enough to let me violate them.

[bmstinton93]

I know, but he needs to learn that not all disagreements are necessarily arguments, and that people can have opposing views, and defend them, without assuming that the other person is going to or should change their mind!

With all due respect, you are wrong on this one.

thanks Badger. <3

[chrysostom]

That said, I do want them [children] some day. Before that though I need to find a woman silly and desperate enough to let me violate them.

to clarify, the 'them' Bon's referring to in the second instance isn't the same them as the first time.

edit. I hope.

[Bonanzoid]

Pedant!

[MK Chris]

I wouldn't dream of asking a friend (assuming they were an adult) if they were sure about such a big, personal decision. I'd trust them to know their own mind.

Really? If someone I cared about was contemplating such a massive thing I would talk to them about it. Not to talk them out of it, but to know that they are clear with what they are doing. Also, how could you possibly be a supportive friend afterwards if things went tits up if you hadn't shown any concern in the first place? When people care, they express concern - thank goodness.

What she said.

I can understand why people wouldn't want children, I certainly don't want them any time soon. For the sole reason that'd I'd be about as financially prepared as Rangers FC and it'd be irresponsible of me to try and raise a child. That said, I do want them some day. Before that though I need to find a woman silly and desperate enough to let me violate them.

I see what you're saying and it is, of course, your responsibility to ensure you can provide a responsible environment to bring children up in - however the cliché is true - people are almost never ready until they arrive. You make the financial cut-backs you need and you somehow make it work... you don't know how you will do this before it happens, but you do.

[Yudster]

I know, but he needs to learn that not all disagreements are necessarily arguments, and that people can have opposing views, and defend them, without assuming that the other person is going to or should change their mind!

With all due respect, you are wrong on this one.

thanks Badger. <3

Oh bless you!

[Bonanzoid]

I can see where Ben and badger are coming from, but I'm more inclined to agree with Yudster. If everyone agreed on anything it'd be boring and fake. There's nothing wrong with a bit of debate so long as no-one's getting offended. If someone is, then lock the topic or something. Until then, I don't see the problem.

[DevilsDuck]

I really didnt want to get involved in this but...

Kids are amazing, but I can understand why some people dont want kids.

Kids take a lot of time and effort, some people just dont want to give up that time or put in the effort. But in my mind it is ultimately the most rewarding thing.

A childs first smile, giggle, roll from its back to its belly, time it tries to stand up, steps, words etc are the most rewarding and amazing moments in life for a parent...im my opinion.

[a-moron]

thanks Badger. <3

Oh bless you!

Haha. Indeed bless wee Benny Benassi and too a lesser Bonsaizoid.

I love a sidey ways scrotum as much as the next but I was purely doing a flippant post to counter Yudsy Baby's well perceived post, not sticking up for him. Sorry.

[Bonanzoid]

Bonsaizoid.

[Nicola_Red]

II can understand why some people dont want kids.

Kids take a lot of time and effort, some people just dont want to give up that time or put in the effort. But in my mind it is ultimately the most rewarding thing..

For me, it's nothing to do with that. I mean it's true that I wouldn't wanna give up my time, but if I really wanted kids that wouldn't stop me. I have just always known instinctively that kids were not for me. It's the opposite of a biological clock. A biological timebomb...?

[Yudster]

the thing he said about it being a joke

See I got it.

[bmstinton93]

I love a sidey ways scrotum as much as the next but I was purely doing a flippant post to counter Yudsy Baby's well perceived post, not sticking up for him. Sorry.

Tit...

[a-moron]

I love a sidey ways scrotum...

Tit...

Looks like a scrotum to me. Or tits I suppose but definitely not tit singular.

Sorry I'm rambling now.