[The Cornishman]

Who is Britain's most 'crooked' pensioner?
You see,there is a local old geezer (for no apparent reason we shall call him Jack) who has achieved the Internationally recognized body stoop of 45 degrees.I first saw jack perched on a seafront bench,and was suprized,and,I'm ashamed to say,not a little delighted to observe that when he stood up he remained at exactly the same angle.I had hoped that local legend would explain all-Perhaps he had been unexpectedly punched in the stomach by Rocky Marciano back in '46?,Or maybe he had been used as a human missile during experimental Wartime catapult research? Or did he simply spend too many childhood years looking for conkers? Discreet enquiries proved fruitless as Jack aparrently keeps himself to himself-indeed he may take his secret to the (L-shaped?)grave.He appears to suffer little discomfort from his condition and is worthy of that patronizingly overused term 'sprightly'.
So raise a glass tonight to Old Jack-a man who looks the world square in the groin and never washes his dirty linen in public-even at 45 degrees...

[Sidders]

There's a old man called Jack who goes in my local every Thursday and Saturday night. He's the only person in the village who drinks Everards Mild. Andy the pub land lord says he's going to change it for something else when Jack dies.

[aaronc]

to jack *raises his glass!